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“ In Soviet Russia , station plays YOU!!”

~ Russian Reversal on PlayStation.

The PlayStation (also known as 'That bloody machine' by your mom ) was originally developed by Texas Instruments as a video player that would play only scat pornography, but due to an inadvertent squirt of liquid that landed inside the disc drive (the squirting has since been relocated to Southern Asia), it was found that the player could also play the mountains of previously useless PlayStation games that were being sold in retail stores. Final Fantasy VII, which was originally planned to be part of a new, non-playable furry porn series by Squaresoft, was quickly converted into a playable game and filled with subliminal messages to make otherwise "normal" people ignore the gratuitous furry sex scenes.

The Sony Playstation is also considered by many to be the best video game console since Turbo Graphix 16. Wait a second... Turbo Graphix 16 sucked harder than Toothless Malaysian Prostitute on Angel Dust.

Contents 1 Becoming a Console 2 Xbox Microsoft 3 PrayStation 4 Mecha Playzilla 5 The Playstation 1.243373 5.1 The real Info on Play Station 5.2 See also

[edit] Becoming a Console

Luckily for stupid children, and unluckily for people with a collective IQ greater than 12, the release of the PlayStation coincided with the Great Migration of Stupid Shit from Japan in the 1990's. Due to exposure from birth to things such as Pokemon, Digimon, Power Rangers and Yu-Gi-Oh, Children around the world were resistant to what were once thought to be un-survivable levels of stupidity.

The success of the Sony PlayStation came with its release in America in the late 1990s. As such, the PlayStation was greeted as a new and unique machine. People even bought the Crash Bandicoot games. The profits from PlayStation and it's accompanying games was so high, (6-brazillion yen, 10-million-squillion US dollars) that the offices of Texas Instruments imploded.

[edit] Xbox Microsoft

Possibly the richest man in the world owns the company Bill Gates . He is a complete retard with funny glasses. His computers tend to break down a lot. This is odd for someone with so much money you'd think he'd of fixed the problem by now. He owns Xbox which is a really bad company compared to Sony despite Sony being Japanese. Although these days Japan leads the technology front. Along comes Bill gates retard and tries to copy Japans technology. Bill Gates Retard and makes a huge killing (of Japanese People with the bomb situated in the Xbox 360 which makes it explode and overheat 3 days after you've bought it.- The time delay varies in which console you buy. Also in the warranty makes everything is a void. If you buy an Xbox you get to join Bill Gate's Retard Club.

[edit] PrayStation

After seeing the vast success that Sony had in marketing and selling the PlayStation, Mel Gibson decided to fund the manufacture of a video game console called the PrayStation. Gibson also released 777 Christ-friendly titles, such as:

• Apostle's Creed: Play as Peter, as he cuts of the ears of all who oppose Christ.
• Crusade Tycoon: Build armies and raid foreign lands. Get rich and slay infidels!
• Gospel Revolution: Speak the Eulogy of the Lord to throngs of church-goers.
• The Passion of the Christ - Motion Picture Game: Beat Jesus in this real-time tribute to the suffering of Jeebus.
• Hitler: the cleansing of humanity.
• Bible man: fall of the hebrew hammer.

Initially receiving a good reception sales for the PrayStation slumped as the number of exclusive titles for the console featuring anti-semitic themes rose, Sales of the console eventually falling behind that of the Amiga 1200 after the release of "Mel Gibson's DiRTy Jews".

[edit] Mecha Playzilla

In February of 2000, it came to light that Sony had been feeding third party developers to the Playstation production plant in Tokyo when an accident involving large quantities of geek brain-matter and the Y2K bug resulted in the factory gaining sentience. It spent several months reforming its body into an oversized metal reptile before then going on a destructive rampage across Tokyo. Mecha Playzilla in the end was stopped by a small team of Sega employees in coloured spandex who constructed another large robot out of broken Dreamcast parts and then piloted it to fight the mecha-lizard. The combat caused over a squillion Yen worth of property damage and resulted in the total destruction of both robots. Following the incident, Sega discovered that their entire Dreamcast production system had been used up on the creation of the second robot and were eventually forced to step out of the console-making business. Meanwhile, Ken Kutaragi salvaged an egg from the remains of the Mecha Playzilla, thus discovering and releasing its vile offspring into the world: the Playstation 2.

[edit] The Playstation 1.243373

On judgement day, Sony thought real long and hard about KFC.During this 36-hour period,Sony came up with the idea of a new system. Too gay to be playstation 2, but to advanced to be playstation 1, they created the playstation 1.243373. With its 0.1 frame per second upgrade, it was the most powerful system on the market But because it sucked german testicals, it failed the nornantitdale approval and was was thrown into jail to be put in the electric chair. Miraculously it's ghost was found and cloned so that CIA could sell it over the internet for an approximate price of 37 cents. One of the CIA's customers had found out, while watching mickey mouse pornography, that if soda was chemically enhanced, then he could put it in the playstation 1.243373 to wreck the system. Doing this awokened the spirit of Karrymbo, a deadly as well as mutual foe in the dragon ball series. Karrymbo plagued earth as the only proof that KFC was bad without testing the food, as well as a part time astronaut because no one likes astronauts. At this point, Terry Fox killed Karrymbo by melting his plastic leg and pouring the contents over the demonic beast. Sony contemplated this as a chance to steal the last known traces of the chemical, Exonium from Nintendo, at this point a division of Mcdonald's. This chemical produced nuclear waste that could make good games. Considering this, Nintendo has done well in sales without eXonium. Sony used the eXonium to create a mechanical bio suit capaple of rules faiths, but chose to destroy their balls with it because american idol was still cool and they did not want to miss an episode by ruling the world. After this event the playstation 1.243373 went to extinction a the last known living dinosaur. Scientist took it's corpse and fused it with the bio suit and a few scabs to create Mewtwo, the pokemon who DOESN'T sniff shit. Moves it was able to use were shadow system, psycic hard drive, and repair( a more powerful variation of heal). It was raped and eaten by the religeon, Cristiantity, though, because they were angry for the satanic spanws it was known for(entertainment,etc.). In every way(except one), the playstation 1.243373 was dead... or alive... 2.

== Did You Know? ==

• The Ancient Fighting Monks of Kuala Lumpur have honed their tecnique for thousands of years by playing Virtua Fighter on a PS1 that Master Monk, Long Duk Dong built from stolen internet plans.

• Did you know that the person who wrote the previous paragraph is very upset about this? Probably because his welfare check isn't enough money to buy a PS2. He's beaten Super Mario like 8,411 times.

• Did you know that Mario has nothing to do with the Play Station?

• Master chief humped a Play Station 3 once.

[edit] The real Info on Play Station

It has been aleged that the play station was invented to control a generation of youth but it turned out that dole bludgers and drug users have nothing better to do then sit at home and go BLIP BLIP

[edit] See also

• Playstation 2
• Playstation 3
• Psp
• DRM
• UnNews:Greenpeace calls for greener consoles