*

Diagram of an Asterisk, showing the two main components to keeping a dense block of text afloat.

*An asterisk is a warning symbol used to indicate that small, nearly illegible type has settled at the bottom of a page due to buoyancy issues. Minipixel molecules bond with one another in a process called full frontal copulation, whereby typefaces become smaller. Because text contains the same amount of information no matter the size, and it became smaller (i.e. the volume decreased), and density=matter/volume (matter here is in the form of energy (i.e. information, because energy is clearly required to process actual information)) thus, the matter stays constant, and volume decreases, density must increase. This causes, in combination with the reduced drag, caused them to sink. This, of course, several threats. First, bits of text were falling of the page, and if something had not been found to prevent this, large chunks of knowledge could have been lost forever, leading to the decline of civilization as we know it. Also, the bits of text falling of pages would litter the floors, and people would slip on the small text, and then demand it be cleaned up, putting a large strain on the cleaning personal everywhere, and causing more and more people to become janitors, making large corporations lose their workforce, causing them to go bankrupt, leading to the rapid decline of civilization as we know it. Lastly, it constituted a need for some form of early warning system to be devised, preventing any unnecessarily violent reading mishaps or desperate comprehensive confusion from developing and leading to the decline of civilization as we know it. To combat this dangerous potential threat, the Romans decided to craft a marvelous glyph the likes of which had never been seen by human eyes, but instead they decided to just go with a star, but re-engineered it to hold up the weighty text through a combination of balloons and hyperbolic-suspension-tractor-beam-projection rays which attached to the asterisk in the main body of the text. This out of the way, the Romans got back to appropriating the whole of Greek culture, renaming it and claiming it as their own.