Triangles
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Oblong incognito, incomprehensible, invisible objects, without objectives, and inviable, undeniable, manufactured for the purposes of providing a stable foundation for tables and fountains, Triangles are plotting against us all, they want to take over the world!
They already control many street signs, and are subtly infiltrating all other aspects of american culture. It is believed by many that the brains of many politicians are simply triangles at a confrence,because of the presidency of George Dubya Bush.
An example of one of these wondrous things, which form the undeniable reliable center, of the renter, of the universe and its various subchapters and actors:
Paraphrasing a famous novel;
- He consumed a great deal of his generous beefs'
- A child British, slightly odd and a man from Kentuckistan
- She'd a wondrous speech so poor and bitter
- each eon He'd a shoot of the crayfish ev'ry eve'
- He filled his pipe with the tobacco
- And to float in the swirl he carried a rod
- Then Juan had a kind o' the ripplin' path he walked out of his house, in sight of them all
- With a distate of the majesties he was established Forto push him on with his tasks.
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[edit] History
The triangle is a purple, 4-dimensional polygon with 19 sides and 27.254621 angles. The triangle was discovered by some guy called Joe in 1893 when he accidentally put the bar on a capital A too low, thus revolutionizing modern geometry. By 1894, realizing the potential chance to steal the triangle, Darth Dollars, brought Joe to work at Microsoft and quickly lapped his idea under patent. Microsoft were afraid that the next version of Mac OS would feature pretty triangular windows, naturally stronger than Windows' quadrilateral ones.
While Darth Dollars did discover that it made mouse pointers look neat, both in the arrow and hourglass form, he was unable to make use of the triangle for much else, not being that skilled really, and abandoned the patent the following year, when they discovered and introduced color to the world in 1895 (except of course purple, which is the colour of triangles).
The triangle is also the world's hardest musical instrument to play, not only does it weigh as much as the average family bus, it has over 300 different notes and 14,000 different tonal rhythms, tunings and sizes. Many people have tried to master the triangle, and only a few (normally oriental monks) survive
[edit] Criticism and Dangers
There has been much criticism of the triangle due to its tendency to induce obsession in mathematicians, known as trignophilia. There have been growing cases of trignophiles, or trignolagniacs, in recent years. These people claim not to be under the triangle's influence, yet regularly engage in cult acts of esoteric maths under the title "trigonometry". Their bizarre and painful initiation process (see triangle piercing) is known as triangulation.
The triangle is also the gay pride sign, and the antenna on Tinky Winky's head is a triangle. Studies have confirmed links between the shape of the triangle and its effect on human psychology, and it is possible that the triangle can induce homosexuality or metrosexuality.
When a person plays computer games for too long without breaks (one 15 min break for every hour is recommended) they experience a medical condition known as "Square eyes". An acute case due to playing computer games nonstop all night is known as "Triangular eyes".
Triangles are of course very dangerous, especially when they come into contact with sentient life-forms. They should be banned and branded as evil, but the only way to do this is to destroy the formula. However this is extremely difficult as no one understands it. There are concerns about the effect of triangles on children, most seriously in school. Reports suggest that at some point or another, all children encounter a teacher who exposes them to a triangle. There are calls to raise the minimum age for triangles to 18, or even 21, in some jurisdictions, due to their dangerous nature. Quasimagically, if you are in a triangle, you are known to be in a troublesome spot.
[edit] Love Triangles
Love triangles refer to romantic relationships involving three people. Anyone who has been in one knows that they are inherently unstable and extremely dangerous. Unrequited love and jealousy are common occurrences in love triangles, and the result is always great pain for one of the people involved, shattering the idea that triangles are simple, harmless shapes.
[edit] Right Triangles
Or right-handed triangles, are triangles which make use solely of their right arm; although they also possess a left arm and another arm that joins both arms known as the Hypotenuse.
[edit] Myths
[edit] Degrees
The most commonly held myth is that a triangle contains 180 degrees. Obviously, this is untrue, as in any triangle the angles sum to 360 degrees;. Proof of this is here.
[edit] Bermuda
The Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil's Triangle is an imaginary area joining three islands no one would ever have otherwise known about in the rough shape of a triangle, somewhere in the sea.
Supposedly people keep dying here and masquerading as ghosts. Whether the ghosts are real or mere tourist grabbers, Bermuda is a further example of the dangers of triangle obsession.
[edit] Common types of Triangles
Among the more common types of triangle are the following:
- Equisexual Triangle
- Isodomy Triangle
- Scaly Triangle
- Inside-out Triangle
- Four-sided Triangle
- Obtuse-angled Triangle
- Spheroidal Triangle
- Emo Triangle (Also known as Black Triangle with Blood)
[edit] Triangles in Popular Culture
- Triangle (television), a former BBC soap opera that got canceled
- The Triangle (miniseries), a really, really bad mini-series on the Sci-Fi Channel
- The triangle is the Sesame Street character Tellie's favourite shape
[edit] See Also
- Proof that the angles of a triangle sum to 360 degrees
- Bermuda Triangle
- Pascal's Triangle
- The Triangle as a really bad musical instrument
- Triangle piercing, one of several forms of female genital piercing (there is a article on this)
- Love triangle
- Triangular theory of love
- Rectangle
- Love rectangle
- Pentagon
- Peanut
