12 Fundamental Cheeses
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 | The 12 Fundamental Cheeses | ||||
| Holy*
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| *Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese | |||||
| The 3 Noble Cheeses | |||||
| *Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta" | |||||
According to String Theory, there are Twelve Fundamental Cheeses and three noble cheeses that, as a group, constitute all matter in the universe. These fifteen cheeses are central to the theory of Quantum cheddardynamics
Contents |
[edit] History
[edit] Beginnings
The first to discover that Cheese was the basic element was Socrates:
“The basic element of which all matter consists is cheese. There is an exchange of cheese for all things and of all things for cheese.”
~ Socrates on Cheese
[edit] The Fetamental Cheeses
In the year 1422, ironically also the year of the cheese, a rogue syndicate of Feta monks staged a coup of history. They attempted to replace every mentioning of the 'Fundamental Cheeses' with the phrase 'Fetamental Cheeses'.
Their deeds were thwarted however by a poisonous Blue Cheese being mixed with their quiches the night before their attack. The identity of the asassin is unknown.
[edit] Scientific Conclusion
The twelve fundamental cheeses were brought into existence as a result of The Cheese String Theory Incident. We're still not entirely sure where the 3 Noble Cheeses came from however to classify as a noble cheese you have to be a cheese which, when divided by the number of holes on each side equals the sum of the hypotenuse of the slice that you made.
