1700
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
(Redirected from 1734)
This page is a member of the Uncyclopedia Timeline. If an event isn't listed in the timeline, it most likely happened.
Represented here are the time periods from 1700AD to 1799AD.
[edit] 1700
- Canada adopts Burger King as its government
- A few people wonder when Jesus is coming back.
- Louis Robet (1747-1700) dies, effectively making him the only known human being to have a negative age (-47 years). This phenomenon has lead to the recent assertion that Robet is proof for the theory of Intelligent Design. Robet obviously fullfils the speculative role of Superior Being, a "Time-Traveling Biologist," who sets the evolution of the earth from "random" to "ordered." However, until either we discover how to time-travel, or are told how by our future selves, Robet's role in the creation of the earth cannot be sure.
[edit] 1701
1701 was the year in which the Y2k phenomenon became a widely recognized fact.
- Runescape is invented, causing many people to quit their jobs.
- Congress adopted an African Aids Orphan.
- The Holy Roman Empire experienced an attack by cylon forces.
- The USS Enterprise is invented.
- Lu Bu conquers the Holy Cylon Empire later this year. The Cylon survivors retreat back to a mythical planet called Caprica and begin plotting their revenge.
[edit] 1703
- A bunch of pirates sailing around the Kap Horn invent Morbul. There is a lot of rejoicing until Peg Leg Willie is thrown aboard.
[edit] 1709
- June 11 - Isaac Newton invents Brilcream and antigravity apples in the same afternoon.
- May 4 - Chinese Emperor "His most devine and invisible keeper of the Cheese" Quin Qill Qwook wins his debut heavyweight boxing match with Buddha and forces him to become his 122nd wife and knob warmer.
- Decemeber 2 - Oscar Wilde travels back in time and tells Lord Bastard the Magnificent to "kiss my left nut bitch!"
- USS Enterprise discovers America.
[edit] 1710
- Justin Tosti, noted Hitler Impressionist, is born.
- June 3 - Lord Alvin Redund is born.
[edit] 1712
The letter e is murdered by i, who is jealous of e's relationship with a. e is later resurrected, along with the number 7 and bell-bottom pants. 7 later ate 9, thus increasing his strength, and took revenge on whomever killed him.
Humperdink Crannycroddle, patron saint of sneezing and stubbed toes, dies aged 41, due to Jenga complications.
[edit] 1713
- February 18 Gollum discovers that Chuck Norris took his ring.
- October 1 Gollum faces with Chuck Norris. They fight for five days and five nights.
- October 6 Gollum is defeated by Chuck Norris, yet somehow takes back the ring: but God gives Gollum a permanent scar on his face with a stick.
[edit] 1714
Granny Smith
- The Great Apple Purge (or Granny Smith Rape) is begun in Holland. All apples in Holland are forcibly relocated to other parts of Holland, and the Purge is instantly declared a smashing success.
- Your mom makes her first appearance on the international scene, when the Queen of England states "Thine mother dost eat mince pies!" in response to a question about that night's banquet's dinner menu.
- Oscar Wilde begins his millennium-long experiment to solve all human problems, but abandons it after two hours because, quote, "this shit is boring."
- Time travelers from 20XX start the 99 Year's War over a three-acre piece of rather useless swampland because "there aren't any good wars in this time period."
- The Intertemporal Association of Time Travellers gives 1714 the "Rather Boring" award.
- Chuck Norrisgrows a formal beard.
[edit] 1716
The computer scientist Ronald Burch created the first PHP-Script.
This ancient Script was found only 289 years later by Lord Michael Schleiss of Roscommon, also a computer scientist who works with Ronald Burch. The script should bring peace and love to the world, but something went wrong and so the first gays were be ceated
[edit] 1716: The Word
- 1716 is a word without any visible Number. Nobody ever saw a 1716 with a number in it, or not in it. +
[edit] Did you know:
- 1716 was a few days ago ?
[edit] 1719
- When asked about 1719 Roald Dahl said something like " the thing about years is, is that they are always in order, always orderly. Everyone knows the year. I think. Everyone is playing god. Ignorance. They don't know what year it is anymore than I do.. and that's what is different about 1719, it wasn't a year at all. It broke the rules... " and then he swam off.
- Leather was introduced to the music video and a new era of dance was born.
- The last monkey was killed, and all hope for the human race was lost.
- Thomas Bayes was badly beaten by his deaf-mute mother after a one sided argument about mathematics.
[edit] 1722
Criminal Jack Shepherd or Sheppard, or Shepahyrd can't spell own last name, dies from a nasty fall off Tyburn, despite scheme to cut own execution rope.
[edit] 1723
Standardized spelling invented by descendant of Guttenburg
[edit] 1725
- May 18 - The Order of the Bath is created by King George II.
- June 13 - The Decepticons invade Spain.
- September 1 - Led by Emilio Estévez the Spanish uprising pushes the Decepticons out of Madrid.
[edit] 1726
- Jacob Smiles-Gropius demonstrates steam-driven mechanical television at a meeting of the Royal Society. The device is successfully suppressed along with all knowledge of its existence.
[edit] 1732
- 'Drowning of the Bulls' festival in Pamploma changed (forever) to, 'Running of the Bulls'. PETA does it's First protest.
[edit] 1735
- Lenny Washington, brother of George Washington, is born on October 23th.
[edit] 1738
- British matchstick artist L. S. Lowry's pinky finger is broken during an argument with a Scally Drug Dealer who had "Messed up his Shit". Reporting the incident to the local police at the Salford "Shopping" Precinct, this event would later lead to the War of Lowry's Pinky.
- The dynasty of the Burger Kings begins accending the throne of Burgonia after Emperor Whopper III becomes insane.
[edit] 1742
- Everyone finally forgets about 1738
- Rolling Stones release first album.
[edit] 1743
- There was a huge fight. Nobody was injured.
- During the later months one or two people briefly remember 1738.
[edit] 1747
Louis Robet(1747-1700) is born.
- Lu Bu throws up after a heavy night drinking (593 kegs of beer would do that to him). The result is Alaska.
[edit] 1753
- Halo 3's Legendary difficulty is completed for the first time.
- Hitler eats a Boston Cream Doughnut, leading to its' rise to the Nazi's food of choice.
[edit] 1754
- December 25 - Welsh pop maestro with famous pelvic control issues, Thomas "Who's knicker's them panties over by 'ere then boyo?" Jones is born to delighted parents Shirley Bassey and William Shatner. The date has been marked by a National Holiday ever since.
[edit] 1755
- José Cid arrives to Lisbon, coming from outer space. His ship crashes in the outskirts of the city, causing a catastrophic earthquake.
[edit] 1756
- A bloodless revolution takes place in Romania resulting in some 1 million mutilations, 267,000 viral infections and 72,506 bisexual cows -- but zero deaths -- brought to power an anarchical government. This authoritarian regime continues to remain in power in part to its ingenious use of dictatorial tacos and nachos.
- May 6 - Australian blogger Sigmund Freud is born in London, England.
- June 3 - Lord Alvin Redund celebrates his 47th birthday.
[edit] 1759
- Samuel Johnson releases his
shameless cash-inwell-regarded sequel to Dictionary, the List of one letter words starting with A.
[edit] 1760
1760 , commonly known as 1755, but five years later, was actually quite an interesting year.
- January 26 - The camera was invented by Lord Nelson.
- March - The first Special Olympics games were held in the French province of Texas.
- August-September - 1337 was discovered somewhere in South America.
- September 13(early morning) - A bunch of Swedish soldiers were held accountable for the death of Jesus Christ.
- December 32 - Lucy was spotted in the sky with diamonds.
[edit] 1761
- January 5 - Oxford Unviersity is destroyed.
- Febuary 33 - Alphonse Elric, Prince of Jupiter is born.
- Smarch 13 - The city of Moderate York is destroyed.
- Ausust 6 - Barney destroys the island of Java in Indonesia.
- December 43 - George Lincoln Adams Nixon Warren Alaln S Grant is born.
[edit] 1762
- Known as the year of The Great Excommunication of Everything, the Pope excommunicates BBC TV the wise]], the Republic of Chunnel, and Chris Tarrant after constantly disagreeing with everything that the Pope had ever said.
[edit] The Great Duck War
- The Great Duck War begins after the Robot Nazis leader C-3PO made disgraceful comments about the duckist faith, followed by even more derogative comments by the Robot Nazis head of Security, Robbie Robot. Duckist fundamentalists then bombed the Robot Nazis headquarters in Berlin, Germany, and then the war broke out.
[edit] 1763
- Berlin gets the living shite bayt out of it by the Duckists.
[edit] 1764
- Berlin is still gettin' the livin' shite bayt out of it by the Duckists.
- The Robot Nazis rebel, and the R.N.R (Robot Nazis Rebellion) was formed, designed to win back the stolen cities of the robot nazis, including Berlin (which was still getting the livin' shite bayt out of it) and Warsaw.
[edit] Famous People Born in 1764
- Jesus (again)
- Steve Jobs
- Your Mother ooooooooooooooh
- Montel Williams
- Steve Sunby, 17th of July, alleged founder of Happyland
[edit] The Battle of Berlin
- The R.N.R attack Berlin's duckists, in the Battle of Berlin. By the time the mighty battle was over, it was no longer Berlin, it was the duckist's west Berlin, and the R.N.Rs east Berlin.
Duckists flags covered the telephone poles, while R.N.R murals were on every house.
[edit] 1765
The year 1765 was, arguably, the greatest year that ever happened. Don't argue.
Notable things that have happened during this year include:
- Birth of Santa Claus.
- Confederation of Canadia
- World War I
- World War I - Part II
- World War I - Part Duex
- World War II
- Hebe Camargo's first and second attempts to fuse with Oprah
- War of the Worlds
- Death of Santa Claus
- Discovery of the colour brellow.
- Forging of the great rings.
- Microsoft forges rival rings of power.
- Oscar Wilde builds the Great Pyramid
[edit] The Rough Year
- 1765 was also 'The Rough Year' for the Great Duck War the one year that consisted of the most violence, and the most deaths. Instead of one battle, the Battle of the Duck seemed to go on forever, in the form of gangfighting and fundamentalist murders. The conflict became so bad, that duckists had to be shipped to the gigantic refugee camps in Ducksberg. The duckists and the R.N.R were just too equal, too matched, and were just weakening each other. Soon, they were both tiny forces.
[edit] The Church of Duck
The Church of Duck was founded in 1765 by Connor Hogan and Cormac Brannigan, in a duckist refugee camp near Ducksberg, Duckistan.
[edit] The Victory of the Robot Nazis
After the Battle of the Refugees, where the newly formed the Church of Duck destroyed Duckist forces in Duckistan. This weakened Duckist forces so much that it allowed the Robot Nazis and the R.N.R to completely destroy duckism and win the Great Duck War!
[edit] 1766
dick van dyke announced he was making counterfeit vasaline, to fund his non profit organisation - 'money for pennyless actors'
[edit] 1772
Ten years after the great war, Robot Nazis landed on the remote island of Kragen, to find 15 duckists. People and robots alike were scared this would start another war, but it didn't. The Duckists were left to thrive on Kragen, and today 67 live there peacfully.
[edit] 1773
- A small semi-aquatic creature, not unlike the newt, becomes first animal to run a 3-minute mile. Everyone is sufficiantly impressed.
- Canadians revolt and overthrow their Burger King government. Tim Horton is elected as new Prime minister.
[edit] 1775
- The year of the horrible secret government crash thingie of 1775.
- Also the year they invented moosebricks.
- Ireland gains its independence from England and Charles Barkley.
- The Copyright is invented.
- Queen Elisabeth of England was born this year and rules the nation to this day.
Though she was turned into a Robocop like cyborg when she died in a carbonfirecrash in 1993.
- Johannes Kepler discovers big hours
- A great stink descends on whiat will become the Northeastern US. It is traced to fatso Benjamin Franklin, who immediately flees to Paris to get regaled by the girls.
[edit] 1776
Considered by many Brits to be the worst year on record. However, Tompsonites feel differently. Most Tompsonites, most notably Chuck Norris, remember the day very well: a bunch of retards signed some shitty piece of paper and liberated the colonies from King Henry's rule.
- Voter Apathy - New buzzword in Politics - Offically Recognized as main reason United States Declaration of Independence took so long to ratify by Political Parties, as, No Cash was offered for their Vote, by presiding President.
- Halo 3 is released on Xbox 360, resulting in the American Revolution.
- Several minutes after Halo 3 is released, the Legendary difficulty is beaten for the first time solo, which resulted in the War of 1812
[edit] 1777
- Due to conflicts in the Mayan, Gregorian and Chinese calendar this year was postponed until 1834 when it was forgotten about and skipped, hence it never actually occurred.
- However, that didn't stop the 1782 Country Music Awards from featuring the hit song, "It was Seventeen Seventy Somethin" which was claimed to have been written in and about 1777.
- First official book of Pope-isims is published, most prominently featuring the immortal quote:
- "Pope'n aint easy!". This quote is still used to this day, but all of the others have been forgotten.
[edit] 1780
- OMMFGYPOSIWKY!!!
- Mother Teresa gives birth to fifty lepers.
- American soldiers forsee victory over the British in the American Revolution. The British giggle and give them severe wedgies. (see Bigfoot, above)
- A homely group of farmers set the record for staying up late. After a rebellion-filled evening of kitten huffing and cow tipping, they finally fell asleep at 7:44 PM.
- Benedict Arnold hides out in New York like a total noob.
- Mother Nature had her first period, got pissed, and caused a hurricane.
[edit] 1781
- George Washington traps the British at Yorktown where he launches an aerial attack.
[edit] 1784
- The Civil War begins after a failed campaign by the USA (United States of Armenia) to break the severely addictive hold of the Otaku anime over Armenian children, young adults, and waterfowl by intoducing such shows as Teen Titans, Beavis and Butthead, Evangelion, and Gumby.
- Happy-land founded by Steve Sunby and Coka-caine
[edit] 1785
1785 is a fine number indeed. Possibly the finest of numbers.=
[edit] Events
- 1785 saved my life back in 1923, you know. 1923, now there's a number you've got to look out for! Borrowed my candelabra and broke my favorite parkbench, the rotter did. Anyway, my god am I ever pretty!
- Aside from the rantings of this mad old man quoted above, 1785 was also the date of the Great Mass-Pwn1ng at Rick James Beach, in which Pez dispensers were used to drive back the evil penguin hordes and flying sumo wrestlers.
[edit] Fun Facts
- 1785 was at one point most popular for being the only number to not have tried drugs in the 1960's. When it later came out that 1785 was in fact a lutheran, it became a recluse and then a cyborg.
- Congratulations, Sammy, the chicken's a star.
[edit] 1787
- Nothing much happens this year as everyone spends all their time thinging, 'Gosh, can't believe it's 1787 already.
- At the North Pole, the Royal Band of Elfs force Santa Claus to sign a constitution. Unfortunately, Claus is on the pot at the time. Thus arises the phrase, "to take a constitutional". The document is called the Crappa Carta.
[edit] 1788
The best year to the Poms, Australia is created and settled.
- January 26- The Poms created Sydney and steal the Aboriginal objects found, known as the Stolen Generation.
[edit] 1789
- The executive president of the universe's great-great-great-great-great grandfather was born
- 74,972,498,756 people were killed by moldy marklar on the planet Marklar
- Yogi Bear was deemed "greatest mind of our age".
- Robotjesus was crucified in outer space
- The Himilayan Conflict breaks out between the tibetans and the brazilians.
After the French revolution, there were many dead people, but still no double-breasted suits.
[edit] 1790
- A decade widely remembered due to the fact that people all over the place were saying "It's only ten years to 1800 ! We are doomed !".
- Many people became rich by teaching other people how to deal with the Y1.8K bug.
- Lu Bu fights to the death with Megatron. Megatron ends up at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean...next to Altantis.
[edit] 1791
- Nostradamus predicts the year 1971 will be known only for being the palindrome of 1971. He was surprisingly overlooked from instant excommunication by the Catholic Church although in retropect the Pope was excommunicating a lot of things that year so he probably didn't notice.
- Dolittle College is founded by Doctor Dolittle.
- May 3 - The May Constitution of Poland (first modern constitution in Europe) is proclaimed by the Polish Diet, only to be promptly superseded by the Atkins Diet.
- May 29 - On the third annual No Anniversary Day, surprisingly nothing happens.
- British Lemonade Tax announced as a result of the Himilayan conflict.
[edit] 1792
- The LemonParty is founded by Urethra Franklin, George Washington Carver, and Baba Yaga.
- Tony Danza sypamthizers assassinate Arch-Duke Franz Ferdinand, proclaiming "I got soul but i'm not a soldier!"
- Vangelis releases the Death 666 Satana album.
- Aileen Wuornos, a popular American Country & Western singer, is sentenced to death by her husband Tony Blair for bigamy. She is eventually made a saint in 2001.
- The US Dollar is officially created by the Coinage Act of 1792, immediately drops to €0.80 on rumour of insider trading.
- April 20 - France declares war on itself, surrenders. France then Declares War on Austria, Austria shits itself laughing at France.
- April 25 - The first execution by guillotine goes horribly wrong when the severed head misses the basket, rolls into the crowd, and is stolen by dogs. The body is later buried with a carved pumpkin in place of the head.
- June 16 - week long looting of the French royal treasury begins. Best buy starts it's 'Stinkin Hot Summer Sale'.
- June 19 - Puzzle potato officially goes missing.
- Octobuary 21 - The Queer Famine of 1792 begins.
[edit] 1793
- Charles Darwin creates the science known as geology after physicist James Clerk Maxwell time travels from Edinburgh in 2420 to the Galapagos Islands to give Charles Darwin the idea.
- Vangelis releases his Kiss me babe album said to mark a new period of Vangelis's music. However due to technical difficulties manufactures forget to mark the period on his album thinking it was a silly typo.
- The Tún tribe joins the Disneyland Confederation, becoming its eighth member.
- June 29 - The slang term "manjunk" is first used by Frenchman Jean Paul Lafayette.
[edit] 1794
- 1794 did not occur, as the four popes at the time decided that the number was evil so the world skipped to 1812, but they decided this was too far and went back to 1795.
[edit] 1795
- January 31 Chuck Norris wakes up from his sleep again, he searches for the ring that Gollum stole from him
- June 6 Led Zeppelin play in America for the first time.
- August 21 People become smart again.
"Seriously, how can people be so stupid?!" -God
[edit] 1797
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge kills an albatross, dips it in gold and wears it on the cover of his debut rap album. This ill advised fashion disaster triggers the Albatross War between albatrosses and humanity that continues till today.
ROFL!!!!
- Nostradamus Predicts This Year Will Be The Year 1797
- Oscar Wilde stars in the first series of Celebrity Love Island, along with a few others.
[edit] 1798
- Everyone was knocked out by a huge meteor storm so no-one remembers this year, but a lot of people got lumps on their heads.
- A psychic (only human not to get hit my a meteor)vpredicts the birth of Elton John. Mass panicing and chaos follows.
[edit] 1799
- Glen Stefani has sex change operation, promptly changes name to Gwen.
- Steve Jobs produces his first invention under the name Eli Whitney.
Categories: History | Time | Years
