2009

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This article or section is able to see into The Future. Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.

[edit] Events

• Cancer cured, Zombies created.
• The Hit Comic Film Tarzan: King of the Urban Jungle hits theaters with erotic results.
• Former US Emperor George W. Bush reappears after disappearing around the time of the United States Presidential Election of 2008 and conquers the world. The details of this are unknown however it may be connected to his flaming flatuance problem and the retaliation taken against the attempted takeover of the world by poor people the previous year however it is rumored opposing liberals complained theirselves to death.
• The annual Nobel War Prize is cancelled due to war as the participants are busy blowing the crap out of each other.
• The Welsh National anthem "Land of your mom" is written by Jame James and his son James on the site of the Pontypridd war memorial carpark.
• Sir Humphrey Davey and Linus Torvalds discover the worlds first known plaque during a joint science fair project.
• Who wants to kill Tom Jones ?, a popular variety tv show, is cancelled. Due to him have being sniped by a disgruntled hyena.
• Family Guy now includes flashbacks within flashbacks of flashbacks, often quoting previous sentence. Causes an epidemic of SEHS.
• The US County Quarters Program releases its first series of commemoritive coins.
• Harry Potter dies in Kent, England.
• Hugh Jepherson Smythe Edgar Astor Rhapsody-in-Blue Trenchard III, 1st Viscount Trenchard of Mediocre Britain is born.
• January 20 - Saddam Hussein, winner of the United States Presidential Election of 2008, is officially inaugerated as President of the United States.
• Last known cockroach dies. Extinction feared.
• Cryogenically frozen Jesus found in Arizona lab.
• The scourge known as Winter eradicated.
• You finally move on from your divorce only to encounter the untimely death of your hamster.
• Red Sox and White Sox merge to form Pink Sox
• The 5th season of Lost still reveals nothing
• Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle is released.
• Scream 4 is released.
• July 19th - Uwe Boll's film tribute to the life of Skeletor is a box office hit. Plans for a sequel based on the life of Skeletor's dog begin immedietly.
• I get laid.
• You don't.
• Jer-Bear ate a midget... whole.
• Paul W.S. Anderson will release castlevania contrary to the wants of the population of earth. He will be killed by the belmont clan several days later, the general theory to this is they feel he was going to be the new dark lords heir.
• Template:James collet saves the world from evil. Again.
• Japan invades China after being hit by an asteroid
• Barney The purple dinosaur dies and a day of celebration is held around the world except for small parts of russia, where barneys relatives mourn.
• Everyone becomes Bat Fuck Insane