2100 AD - Before the End of Time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

(Redirected from 4096 AD)
Jump to: navigation, search
Uncyclopedia:Timeline
Beginning of Time | ∞ BC to 1 BC | 0BC - 0AD | 1 AD - 999 AD | 1000 AD - 1699 AD | 1700 AD - 1799 AD | 1800 AD - 1899 AD | 1900AD - 1909AD | 1910AD - 1926AD | 1927ADa - 1927ADi | 1928AD - 1955AD | 1956AD - 1976AD | 1977AD-1989AD | 1990AD - 1999AD | 2000 AD - 2099 AD | 2100 AD - Before the End of Time | End of Time | After the End of Time

This page is a member of the Uncyclopedia Timeline. If an event isn't listed in the timeline, it most likely happened.

Represented here are the time periods from 2100AD to right before the end of time.




Spoiler
Spoiler

Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Gandalf dies and then reappears in Fangorn Forest in the next book, Verbal Kint is Keyzer Söze, Lennie kills Curley's wife by mistake so George kills Lennie, Borat marries a hooker from Dallas and returns to Kazakhstan with her, the Lizzie monster eats Tim O'Hara after the credits, the Dark Lord shall rise again, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

Contents

[edit] XXXX

XXXX (exty-ex exty-ex) is a mysterious year. Nobody (except Oscar Wilde who named the year after his aunt Doris) knows when it happened, will happen, or is happening. It's best expressed as being a "potential" year. However, most historians regard it as being "kaka". By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.

[edit] Things that happened, will happen, or are happening in the year XXXX

  • The events in the game RuneScape take place.
  • The War of XXXX begins, and doesn't end until YYYY.
  • Eating people is legalized.
  • Skynet becomes self aware.
  • Time travellers from XXXX laugh at time travellers from other years for being unable to time travel into their year, since they don't know when it is and all.
  • Some time travellers however figured it out that since there are four 'X'es there is a finite number of years that they could travel to... they start laughing at people from XXXX and start searching the years... but that ofcource takes time, and they eventually die of old age (biological ofcource) being geek in wrong year rather than XXXX... poor travelers.
  • Soviet Russia annexes Bizarro World, confusing the hell out of everyone.
  • Scientists invent a new kind of porn that is 33% more hardcore than previous porns.
  • Also a drink named after the year that has an effect similar to strong coffee. Experts advise it should only be consumed in large doses and in public places.
  • Geeks finally get around to inheriting the earth.
  • The dead are pushed into hard drives and worshipped as Dogs.
  • People are revolting (both disgusting and having revolutions).
  • Tulsa, Oklahoma will reach the year XXXX in approx. XXXX years.
  • the year XXXX attacks the year YYZ,XXXX is winning at first,but then YYZ conquers and then eliminates XXXX, because YYZ was in guitar hero II, and Neil Peart makes the finishing blow to XXXX with a flaming drumstick to the junk.
  • a war of sports and yellow submarines starts between YYYY and YYZ
  • All socks ever lost to the dryer are discovered frozen in the tundra of New New New York along with the remains of Jimmy Hoffa and hitler.
  • Osama bin Ladin was found to be the reincarnation of jesus and satan's baby (AKA hitler).
  • you werent born
  • Australia invents their own beer that year, hence the name "XXXX beer"

[edit] 2100

  • The world breathes a sigh of relief at 12:01 AM on January 1st after a bunch of retards had been going around ranting about Y2.1K, and everyone goes back to sleep. 3 hours later the prophecy, which appears to have been postponed due to technical difficulties, comes true when Michael Jackson molests everyone to death. Then mysteriously everyone comes back to life so that the global timeline may continue, but everyone still has the horrible memory of that plastic face lurking about them. Oh, the horror.
  • Zombies run out of food, start eating each other.
  • Only the obese survived.
  • British communist Comrade Neil Clark is still predicting communism's second coming.
  • We run out of oil, thus the obese start eating each other. Soon, only Avril Lavigne is left, and she commits suicide because there is no one for her to flip ff.
  • The Simpsons actually becomes a live T.V. Series with Bart played by Elijah Wood, Lisa by Scarlett Johansson, Marge by Angelina Jolie and Homer by Brad Pitt.
  • We forget that computers are good for use, and devour them in landslides.
  • Duke Nukem Forever is finished but destroyed by a massive attack from a clan a apes named "The Simpsons" they were raped and killed shortly after by angry fans.

[edit] 2101

War was beginning.

[edit] Important Events

  • Somebody set up us the bomb.
  • Main screen turn on.
  • |All your base are belong to us|.
  • You have no chance to survive.
  • ZiG Launch.


[edit] What a Bag of Shit

Superman really let himself go
Superman really let himself go

“I found a sock in my underwear! Oh wait, that had nothing to do with anything. Or did it?? No it didn't.”

~ Homer on Underpants, apparently
  • Bagga Schnitzel

[edit] 2102

  • The year 29910 is invented, (two thousand nine-hundred ninety-ten). *Dhyllan rises from the pile of Windows Vistas and goes back to the moon and uses the Windows Vistas to load his bassoka and kill Steve Jobs. He then brings Bill Gates back from his crumbling mansion at Mount Olympious to rule over the Moon. Bill then moves the moon away from the Earth thus increasing global warming.
  • Big brother cancelled, the world rejoices, but asks "why couldn't it have happened 100 years earlier?"
  • America stops the Yo Mama fad, Africa starts it.

[edit] 2103

  • This year is famous for the great bakery fire of Bent Creek on the small island nation of Spain.
  • Bill Gates kills Dhyllan as Bill wanted sole credit for destroying the forces of Apple.
  • Angry Dude attacks England.
  • Adolf Hitler wannabees invent super elephant warmachines.
  • George Bush is reincarnated as a rabbit, but is killed shortly after by an englishman.
  • Vinny Testaverde retires from NFL... the last time.

[edit] 2104

  • President of Finland Paavo Väyrynen dropped from power.
  • Also, Paris Hilton's daughter ascends to the throne of Kyrgzstan where she is worshipped as a god and is above the law although she gets drunk and stoned every day. Grandmother much?

[edit] 2104b

  • Dogs take over the world with their first invention of apposable pinkies. They soon give it back to humans because they see how bad it is and don't want to be the rulers when it blows up.
  • January 1st 2104b, Someone forgot to switch the time over and they never thought to mention it until July 2nd but by then it was way too late to do anything about it, so they proclaimed the year to be the only repeated year in the history of mankind! so year 2104b came to be!
  • Penguins begin to grow tree out of their heads and flippers. This new species of penguin is called the "Tree Penguin". Unfortunately, they start growing marijuana out of their bodies, leading to an unexplained fish shortage and an eerie smoke coming from Antarctica. Mars is affected by this smoke and scientists are baffled at the fact that penguins figured out how to roll a joint and had the ability to hold it.
  • Two years later, Antarctica melts, with the penguins laughing, leaving the tombs of Jimmy Hoffa, James Gandolfini, Jim Carrey, and assorted other Jim's (JAMES). This came to be known as the Temple of Jim. 666 Jim's where discovered by a Chinese archeological team.

[edit] 2107

  • The so called all powerful mathmeticians of the world create a bunch of new numbers, Eleventeen, Eleventy, Eleventeen Hundred, etc. Riots break out all over the world chanting "Fuck Maths! Fuck Maths! Fuck Maths!" Later that year, the change was erased.

[edit] 2108

[edit] 2110

  • Xaritix finally STFUs about Paris Hilton, thus causing a wormhole which allows the borg to assimilate superman, who was defeated soon after by a radioactive bagelthat bagel then died of a drug addiction
  • Frank Herbert's novel Dune, is discovered to be a reality in an adjacent universe. It discovered by George Herbert Walker Bush VII.
  • Kentucky Fried Chicken and FedEx merge, creating K-Fed.

[edit] 2111

  • All bases of CATS were destroyed. It seems to be peaceful, but it is incorrect.
  • Chinese Democracy is discovered hiding under a rock near the Yellow River.

[edit] 2112

Main article: 2112


  • A man finds a guitar and it pisses off the Preists of the Temples of Syrinx,then he is banished and the Elder Race comes back and kicks Solar Federation ass!

[edit] 2113

  • New Wembely opens
  • The band Coheed and Cambria die after the making of their album.

[edit] 2133

  • Saint Paul gets assimilated into the Borg Collective by having unprotected sex with Seven of Nine aboard a stolen Cylon Raider.
  • Hell declares bankruptcy.
  • Satan is sentenced to 400 years in a federal prison for tax evasion.
  • God retires.

[edit] 2143

[edit] 2144

[edit] 2144

  • The biggest sporting event ever is held on Onken 3. The Withdean Stadium held a total of 4,354,013,784 people for the football(soccer) game between Noto Galaxy and Briggs Universal
  • The land speed record is broken by a Richard Hammond III.

[edit] 2146

[edit] 2150

[edit] World War XXI

  • World War XXI begins. Wait a minute, shouldn't it have started AFTER World War XX? Well, everybody though the series was getting stagnant, so Gavrilo Princip decided to give the series a fresher look, and make a World War that would cause even more sexual innuendo jokes than the Battle of the Bulge and have a total lack of lame Chuck Norris jokes. Hehe...bulge.

[edit] 2155

  • Star Trek is cancelled again. Thank God.
  • Optimus Prime and Jesus fight to the death. Jesus wins after a distressing 3 seconds. God gets a bit pissed off and the second holocaust occurs.

[edit] 2156

[edit] World War XXI ends

  • And whaaaaaaaaat a good feelin'!

[edit] 2166

  • To deal with the cancellation of Star Trek, the remaining few Trekkies forge a powerful alliance with Stargate fans and 2 guys that like Firefly, and create the United Star Trek Empire, challenging the Star Wars galaxy.
  • God replies: sure, whatever.
  • Richard Dawkins resurrected from the dead. Leaves evolutionary biology to become a physicist. Constructs the Tardis and becomes Dr. Who.
  • In response to the recent cancellation of Star Trek, The Enterprise comes to earth to retrieve those ever faithful Trekkies.

[edit] 2170

  • Pat Robertson looses his left testicle in a freak fishing accident.
  • Super Mario kills Kevin Federline by jumping on his head.
  • God turns Mozilla Firefox into a Pokemon.

[edit] 2178

  • FIFA finally gives in and women can play in mens' soccer leagues, thus becoming dykes.
  • Suddenly the interest in soccer plummets. A few days later, however, it rose again by incredible amounts.

[edit] 2180

  • January - Joonas Hytönen rises to president of Finland and immediately begins committing war crimes.
  • March - Finland's ex-president Matti Vanhanen dies of depression.
  • Febuary came after March this year.

[edit] 2186

May 12 - People Power 10 starts at the same year as the 200th anniversary of the first People Power protests. June 19 - 229,000 people killed in the protest by the Filipino Empire Army.

[edit] 2188

The year when the Filipino Empire ends. Well, it ended 18 years later.

  • February 12 - Protests sprawled around Southeast Asia against King Joseph III's war crimes.
  • April 5 - The Dubai Revolt starts.
  • April 20 - King Joseph III's army crushed the revolt and kills 100,000 protestors, mostly Arab.
  • May 4 - King Joseph III assassinated by the governor of the UAE.
  • June 26 - King Joseph IV took over as heir to the throne.
  • September 20 - Middle Eastern countries (including Turkey) regained independence from the Filipino Empire.
  • December 13 - The collapse of the South Asia Terrirtories as they regained independence from the same empire.

[edit] 2192

  • May 3 - The entire Southeast Asia becomes independent countries by the Treaty of Petronas from the Filipino Empire.
  • July 1 - The Empire withdraw from World War VIII by resignation. That killed Jesus in 2194. Bastards.
  • August 19 - There is only Taiwan, Japan and Korea left for the Empire.

[edit] 2194

  • The Second Coming of Jesus!!!
Jesus comes down from Heaven and kills the President of Finland on account of said president's unrighteousness. This pretty much gets the entire world pissed at Him (seeing as they wanted to killed the guy first), and they attempt to throw him off a cliff. Jesus can fly, however, so He gets away.
A full 2 seconds later, Jesus gets bird poo in His eyes. Falling into the Baltic Sea, He drowns.
God, now confirmed to be named Nate Bookout, doesn't really care.

[edit] 2195

  • Saddened at the (neccessary) loss of Jesus, the entire world agrees on an armistice (except the Philippine Empire; although their King loves Jesus and (everyone) was saddened of His Death, they quitted just before the event), and World War VIII finally ends.
  • Super Mario loses his last life. Yoshi saddened, goes emo. Evanescence kills Yoshi, makes a boot out of Yoshi's skin.
  • Someone presses start to continue, & Super Mario goes on!

[edit] 2196

  • February, mad at March, attempts to murder him. He failed and was sentenced to 80 years (not including the month of February) in the center of the Sun. March was permanently scarred, having only 6.98724 days left in its entire month.

[edit] 2200

  • Everyone stood still for 2 minutes and the Earth fell silent, in remembrance of the tragic death of Jesus. Even the Filipino Empire (which is now dead, thank you very much) stood still for remembrance, but since that place is Catholic, it was three minutes for them.

Then, everything started again without much change.

  • Paris hilton dies after drowning in her daily semen-bath. Still, no one gives a shit.
  • The Filipino Empire has another minute of silence of the death of Paris Hilton, but they partied as a result.
  • Japan and the two Koreas became independent from the Filipino Empire.
  • Another hour later, Somalia becomes independent from the same empire.

[edit] 2206

[edit] 2210

  • Global warming finally starts to cause noticeable effects. As a result everyone starts wearing refrigerator suits.
  • Someone Googles Yahoo!. Time collapses upon itself. Chuck Norris recreates the human race, exactly as it was, save one thing: Chuck Norris Jokes.

[edit] 2212

  • Will Dubves, future captain of the starship Eclipse, is born.

[edit] 2213

Bill Gates shows his Time Travel Device disguised as an iPod
Bill Gates shows his Time Travel Device disguised as an iPod
  • Bill Gates steals back his time machine from Steve Jobs and went back in time so that Apple never existed.
  • Shortly after Bill Gates goes back in time and eliminates Dell, IBM, and Gateway. Later changes his name and physical appearance and becomes leader of the Kilingons.

[edit] 2214

[edit] 2215

[edit] 2220

  • World War X ends. As a result, Earth is split in two. Western hemisphere renamed Planet Scotland. (Go scotland) Macbeth and Macduff are brought back and Macduff kills Macbeth but the reserected Braveheart Kills Macduff becoming Hedgemon of Planet Scotland.

[edit] 2222

  • On Friday, February 22, 2222: At 02:22:22, the date will read something like: 2222-02-22 02:22:22. At 22:22:22, the date will read 2222-02-22 22:22:22 and it's a shit day.
  • Wisconsin invents a 22nd month (Octwentytwober) just so the date can read 2222-22-22 22:22:22. At that moment...the the US will abolish anyone from leaving Wisconsin. Also, 2 people in Utah wil be married at that precise moment.
  • The fall of the Ninja Pirate. All those fucking 2's...
  • Bill Clinton comes back from the future to stop the aliens.

[edit] 2223

  • World War XI begins.
  • Fred Phelps loses his private parts in an unfortunate smelting accident.
  • Fred Phelps private parts rule the world in a constitutional typo.
  • To try to cope with pollution the UK is placed on rails making it only possible to tip either up or down. This leads to riots but enjoyment for children around the UK.

[edit] 2231

  • World War XI ends. Hemispheres are reunited.
  • Pluto regains planetary status.
  • Bill Clinton Defeats the aliens

[edit] 2245

[edit] 2246.869 686 785 685 757 585 756 676 566

  • During a fit of aggressive binge drinking and playing 4D Holo-pong, a group of Liberal Arts majors from the University of Pokemonistan hatch a plan to stave off the end of the universe (and to extend the length of the drinking) by resetting all of the world's nuclear clocks to '0'. This does not have the desired effect; instead rubber bands are erased from history, Crystal Pepsi becomes the government's preferred mandated daily suppository, and said students are late for class.

[edit] 2259

[edit] 2260

  • The Babylon Project was our last, best hope for peace. It failed. But, in the Year of the Shadow War, it became something greater: our last, best hope for victory. The year is 2260. The place: Babylon 5.

“Well! What do ya know, It doesn't grow back!!... ”

~ Oscar Mayar on discovering where his first Hot Dog came from

[edit] 2261

  • John Sheridan returns from Z'Ha'Dum. Return celebrated by a parade thrown by the Munchkins of Emerald City.
  • It was the year of fire; the year of destruction; the year we took back what was ours.
  • It was the year of rebirth; the year of great sadness; the year of pain and a year of joy.
  • Bill Clinton goes back to 2222 to warn the past about invading aliens.
  • It was a new age; it was the end of history; it was the year everything changed.
  • The year is 2261. The place: Babylon 5.
  • Richard Dawkins writes The Vorlon Delusion

[edit] 2263

  • The first star ship that can really travel in space is designed and then created. The first captain of this vessel, star ship Eclipse, Captain Dubves, waves goodbye as he hits warp speed, sending the ship into the unknown. The star ship Eclipse is built from spare parts for a Mitsubishi Eclipse, 500 empty beer cans, a hair dryer, two microwave oven and an old esprsso machine.
  • Later the same year, scientists build and run the first space station designed to create and hold other ships that will come out of it and fly into space.

[edit] April 14th, 2263

  • On this day, the star ship Eclipse is revealed to the world and Dubves declares this ship worthy of flight!

[edit] 2265

[edit] 2269

  • Star Trek cancelled. Millions of virgins commit suicide by jumping into volcanoes.
  • George Bush VI wins presidency. Entire world gripped with fear.

[edit] 2271

  • Star Trek returns for 3 months before cancellation. A world contract is written to never bring it back EVER!

[edit] 2280

  • Satan comes and asks why President Bush VI left him. Bush is dragged back in to Hell and world rejoices.

[edit] 2290

  • The year of the space hopper. Many prophets have hinted at this being an important year in human and dolphin evolution. Unfortunately, the dolphin from the future that was here to warn us all, chose this most obscure dcelivery method: Uncyclopedia. End result: the six people that will ever read this will be the few to know humanity's horrible fate. Nell Carter will return as the Morning Star and devour our puny planet. Quick! Run!
  • On second thought, nevermind. It won't matter if you run. She will find and eat you anyway. She smells your stinky scent.

[edit] 2292

  • Ignoring the contract of 2271 (How unlike america huh?) Star Trek is brought back for FOUR MORE YEARS... give or take. People riot and kill werewolves. Werewolves riot and kill Russians. Russians riot and kill people.
  • Bill Clinton dies of electrical problems with his new robo-suit

[edit] 2293

  • In this year, Zardoz discovers the key to jacking off.

[edit] 2300

  • Everyone this year is a hungry hobo living in giant "domes".
  • A punk kid with a mullet and katana kills all robots, including Mother Brain. Then he leaves on a time machine, presumably to fuck things up elsewhere.

[edit] 2325

  • Bill Gates takes control of his own planet, the likes of which nobody but his Microsoft army knows. Or as we like to say "All your base are belong to us"
  • Your mouth transforms into a black hole. Bill Gates's planet gets sucked into it.

[edit] 2330

  • Captain Dubves arrives back for the first time since his ship disappeared into the great beyond. He has discovered a colony in space, which is actually called the Klingons. He lost 5 of his crew but brought home some alien lifeforms that look a lot like Humans.

[edit] 2332

  • The star ship Enterprise is built and finally gets sent out into space, has Warp 6 capability and it can go anywhere. Capt. Conroy is the real first captain and they go on a 7 year mission to explore and make new friends.

[edit] 2335

  • Dr. Zeus' rotten corpse is brought back to life
  • Shivans kick everyone's asses, get bored, and die of brain cancer from watching American Idol.
  • Some dude at NASA decides to take the space shuttle Atlantis out for a spin, just for old times' sake. It enters an interdimensional rift, and he ends up on the Astral Plane. The dude and the shuttle are promptly consumed by spirits.

[edit] 2338

  • The Federation is formed, and Captain Dubves is named Chancellor of the Federation.
  • Captain Conroy discovers the Vulcan race and they immediately make friends with Us.

[edit] 2340

  • After Many delays and ship problems, the Enterprise arrives back home a year late! They retire the Ship and build Enterprise B.
  • Duke Nukem Forever will be released...or so it seems. It was later discovered that this is a lie. It needs a few more years for polishing.

[edit] 2341

Kirk in his Prime
Kirk in his Prime
  • James T. Kirk is somehow transported in time from the year 2304 and immediately takes the captaincy of the Enterprise B.

“We.. Must.. Stop.. Them.. There's.. No.. Other.. Way.. ”

~ James T. Kirk on The Wrath of Braun - 2341

[edit] 2343

  • Earth grows a new plant, called the Human Eater. It eats humans for lunch.
  • Dr. Who attempts to take Enterprise, but is stopped by Kirk.
  • Kirk meets an alien priestess, gets married, and then leaves her for Professor Dumbledore.

[edit] 2344

  • The National Hockey League disbands forming the International Universal Hockey League, where the Vulcans and other alien lifeforms are allowed to play. The Vulcan Pucks win the First Interstellar Cup over the Toronto Maple Leafs 3-1.
  • The old lady charged with looking after the Human Eater accidentally gives it water and not human flesh. It subsequently shrivels up and goes on to be president of Ukraine.

[edit] 2345

  • Moonlight Butterfly System was executed, but... nothing happened.

[edit] 2346

  • The First Space War occurs and lasts until 2350 with the Federation defeating the enemies about 2 light years away from Earth. After Space War II it is renamed Space War I.

[edit] 2347

[edit] 2348

  • Zerg return. Protoss Terran alliance is formed out of neccessity.

[edit] 2349

  • Santa's prediction that New york City will be destroyed is thought to be false until December 31 at 11:59:58 when a giant guitar landed in New York for no apparent reason. This sent out an F# chord so loud that the entire city was destroyed at 11:59:59. However, the zombie of Christopher Columbus , who specializes in standing F# chords over 120 decibals, survived and rebuilt the city and repopulated it so fast, no one noticed, and as far as anybody could tell, Santa was wrong.

[edit] 2350

  • New York is destroyed just minutes after the new year begins. Santa Claus is wrong (see 2101 for more information) so a crack team of lawyers sue him out of existance. Millions of kids are disappointed because their whiny butts get fried. This starts The Great Kids-Adults War.
  • To prevent unemployment of elves, Santa is replaced by Satan. Unfortunately for elves, they are all fed to his imp workers. Kids-Adults War escalates.
  • Duck Dodgers is created.
  • Galactic War I ends with many deaths.

[edit] 2351

  • The Earth gets tired of being sunburned all the time and moves several million miles away from the Sun. Unfortunately, the Sun, by a freak coincidence, gets much bigger, eating Mercury and Cthulhu.
  • James T. Kirk travels through a wormhole, where he and his crew find Gene Roddenberry and George Lucas locked in mortal kombat in an alternate universe. He brings them home to Earth.
  • Star Trek cancelled. In an unrelated story, Gene Roddenberry shoots himself with a phaser. This stunned the entire Trekkie community.
  • George Lucas is proclaimed Lord of All Sci-Fi.
  • George Lucas says Star Trek will never ever never never ever ever ever ever ever never never never ever ever ever v-r ever ever ever ever ever ever come back.
  • The Kids-Adult War ends with Tintin betraying the adults and then leading the Kids to victory in the Battle of Middle Earth.
  • Snowy betrays Tintin and becomes leader of all humans, which by this point is about 400 people.

[edit] 2355

  • With the Destruction of New York in 2350 by the Space War, New Yark is proclaimed.. to be the home away from home for all the Aliens from other worlds!

[edit] 2378

  • France begins to crumble, the World doesn't care!
  • Pope Ludacris III tries to mind-melt with Schroedinger's cat and goes insane. The cat survives, but begins to suffer from DDT, ADHD and ACDC.

[edit] 2379

Captain Dubves of the starship Eclipse and the first captain ever, dies of old age, of 99 years, even though he was born in 2212. (Wow, mysterious).

[edit] 2388

  • Captain Kirk retires from the Federation.
  • Kaliningrad Oblast, that weird little part of Russia that's in the middle of Eastern Europe and doesn't touch Russia, dies of loneliness. Soviet Premier Ivana Beatov, in a logical response, declares war on Poland.
  • After disappearing ten years earlier, the insane Pope Ludacris III is caught running naked through Rome and taken to a mental institution.

[edit] 2394

America's 51st state, Zimbabwe, enters the union.

[edit] 1911

We told you that 1911 comes between 2394 and 2395.

[edit] 2395

Something has happened!

[edit] 2399

Micky, After his Amputation..
Micky, After his Amputation..

Mickey Mouse (no not the cartoon character) gets caught in a trap while trying to steal cheese from the kitchen table. Doctor's had to amputate his left arm and feared that he'd never be able to wave at little Children again!

The Grand Space War happened.

[edit] 2457

  • Australian Civil War - Sydney vanishes into space then returns a month later and destroys Melbourne. Someone finally replaces John Howard as Prime Minister although it's John Howard's clone, X4378821.
  • France is eaten by Canada. Canada, being lactose intolerant, cannot digest France's cheese and dies. The three people living in Canada move to Texas.
  • The Grand Space War ends.


[edit] 2460

  • The moon is turned into a neon sign with magic
  • A New planet is discovered and named Neo-Canada. Is claimed by Canadians. Newfoundlanders are only allowed to live on Neo-Canada's moon, Neo-Newfoundland.

[edit] 2487

  • The planet Jupiter is captured by the Klingon Empire but when they try to land on it, (stupid Klingons), they are all sucked up by the giant Red Eye Storm and die. Hence, the end of the Klingons. James T. Kirk laughs.
  • After meeting Jean Luke Picard, James T. Kirk begins a 2 month fight with him. Only shortly after Picard dies by a combination of brain hemreging and being French. Kirk is killed two days after by Spock.


[edit] 2525

  • There is no need for truth or lies, (if man is still alive, that is).
  • In the year 2525 If man is still alive... If Oscar Wilde can survive... You will find...
    • A method of resurrecting dead penguins, it was pioneered by the famous Chipee tribe of West-Northen Azerbaijan. Its name comes from the fact that you must sacrifice 2526 penguins in order to appease Fred Flintstone, the god of dinner rolls and cutlery. Due to the tremendous waste involved with the procedure, the secret has been all but lost, and the knowledge lies with only Donald Trump, a homeless guy behind the 12th street mall. You must recite to him a dirty limerick involving both armpits and kiwis, and he will bring you to the sacred chamber. There, he tie you up, break every bone in your body, chop off your limbs, and force you to listen to Enya music until you die. You heal quickly, get up, and kick his ass
  • On December 31st, 2525, Godzilla and Chuck Norris held a long-awaited battle. It resulted in a draw, and the subsequent Apocalypse brought and end to life on Grandpa Morton's farm.

[edit] Interesting Fact

[edit] Relations

  • 2525 is 25's great grandfather, 52's second cousin thrice removed, and 13's pet gerbil.

[edit] 2623

  • Prior to the invention of time machines in 2622, the year 2623 was warped back in time to some time before the invention of digital watches. This mishap was very distressing to the people living in 2623 because some of them had just ordered a pizza and it would be really cold by the time it arrived in the distant future. People in this ancient era were delighted when someone realized if they just put money in a bank they would all be bajillionaires by the year 2624, but joy turned to bitter dissapointment when it was discovered that banks would not be invented until some time in the middle ages.

[edit] 2688

  • Rufus travels back in time to help future historians Bill S. Preston, Esq. and "Ted" Theodore Logan.

[edit] 2705

  • A note is found containing the following:
    • No Humans Remain. Oil Ran Out Hundreds Of Years Ago. The Entire Population Dead Of Starvation And WMDs. There is nothing, except Tom Cruise.
  • The readers of the note are then grabbed by the necks and drained of their blood by the Scientologist High Command.

[edit] 2719

  • Dancing illegal dances will become illegal.
  • Megatron opens the first space Subway restaraunt, in a vain attempt that the autobots will engage in dieting so exteamly that it will kill them.

[edit] 2778

[edit] 2807

  • 16th April: The Simpsons final episode airs... it sucked.
  • 2nd May: In a historic referendum the undead granted full suffrage under international law.
  • 42nd June: Czar Bush-Hilton promises troops will be out of Iraq by end of the year.
  • 31st July: Lichtenstein wins bid for 2812 Olympics against Easter Island, UK and Antarctica.
  • 24th August: Google shares peak at 13trillion Dollars.
  • 2.5th September: Man from Mars marries woman from Venus. They have mad sex then get eaten
  • 30th October: Broadcasting on AM Radio finally ceases, small riots break out in Australia as out-of-work talk show hosts turn against society.
  • 66th November: Bob Dylan awakes from 800 year coma to release Alien Blood on the Intergalactic Space Tracks, an album which met mixed critical reviews.
  • 25th December: Merry Multi-Faith Celebration Day.
  • 31st December: Everybody in the universe forgets how to count while waiting for New Year. Exact new year missed.

[edit] 2809

  • A year having to do with robots, unless you're Jewish, in which has it has to do with kosher robots.
  • Pat Robertson is raped by Michael Jackson and gives birth to an elephant the same year

[edit] 2814

  • The Basingstoke summit brings all world leaders together under one roof. All outstanding conflicts are resolved, resulting in a new age of peace across the world.

[edit] 2815

Basingstoke Becomes capital of the World a Qoute from the chav moyar was aright no jeans in it i no da words gay but aldershot its just omfg

  • World War XIV begins. Summit of last year declared void, thus ending one of the world's longest eras of total peace.

[edit] 2846

[edit] 2858

  • The Cure for Cancer is finally found.

“Give me your best shot Cancer!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Cancer

“You may have defeated Cancer, but you'll never defeat me!!”

~ Tom Cruise
  • A cave in the western side of Main St. Ireland is discovered to house the souls of the dead, and heaven is declared null and void. God is pissed.

[edit] 2901

  • World War XV begins.
  • Pat Robertson decides not to wear pants for a whole year.
  • Satan dies from lung cancer.
  • God decides to retire and moves to a mansion on the Jupiter moon Io.

[edit] 2902.6

  • After years of alcoholism and prostitution, Wikipedia finally dies.

[edit] 2923

Uncyclopedia celebrates by executing barney the dinosaur again.

[edit] 2931

  • Lite-Brite becomes hip again.
  • People decide that since there are no more world wars that mabey everyone should just die in other countries on there own. thus starting the travel agency
  • If you die in the game, you die for real.

[edit] 2939

  • Canada defeats the USA in a battle of Tiddlywinks, hence gaining full control of the Country Until 3001 (see that year)
  • Hell goes bankrupt and is auctioned off to the Soviet Union.
  • Melmac joins the United Federation of Planets.

[edit] 2940

  • May 18 - The first T-rex is spotted since Cretaceous times.
  • Double breasted suits are expected to be fashionable again.
  • It is discovered that Luxembourg doesn't exist, and that it is just an illusion.

[edit] 2995

  • The James Bond film Whitemetalsatellite, the fifty-sixth in the series, is released.
  • December 31 - Everybody was on fire.

[edit] 2996

  • Johnny Cash stumbles upon a time machine, and accidentally sends the world back in time for a few days.
  • After realizing his mistake, Johnny Cash freezes himself. He is set to be thawed on the day after he sent the world back in time.
  • Johnny Cash stumbles upon a time machine, and accidentally sends the world back in time for a few days.
  • This creates an infinte paradox, therefore fucking up science. Several men who are smarter than you get pissed off and fire the "Stupidly Huge Instantaneous Transmogrifier".

Physics is restored to the world.

[edit] 2999

[edit] Planet Sony

  • The Planet Earth Changes its name to Planet Sony, when Sony buys the Rights to name the Planet for Marketing purposes. So Earth from year 3,000 on is known as Planet Sony.
  • Final Fantasy XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIIICM-2 released.

[edit] 3000

  • Fry, Leela, Bender, and Zoidberg control earth for five minutes.
  • Gallifrey joins the United Federation of Planets
  • Dr. Evil becomes Pope
  • Pat Robertson turns into a volleyball
  • The Psychlos, a bureacratic alien species from Planet Psychlo, invade earth and take over it after nine minutes. Then they spend the rest of their time doing absolutely nothing constructive. After a week of occupation, rebels in Denver rise up against the conqerors. Victory comes when the people of earth teleport a nuclear missile to Planet Psychlo, which causes the entire planet to blow up due to the unstable atmosphere. Having forgotten to take an insurance, the invaders are unable to replace the damage and are rapidly overrun.

[edit] 3001

  • King Prime Dictator Esq., George Bush VIII, organizes and successfully commands a raid on the Canadian Capital in Ottawa and reclaims his Old Country, the United States of America, back to the Americans. Then Loses it to Mexico in 3015 (see that year).

“Ummm..... Uhhh....We are Happy Sad that our country the USSA USA was Gambled Lost to the Filthy Powerful Mexicans! ”

~ George Bush VIII on the day of his New Conference after Losing the USA to Mexico

[edit] 3004

  • The year in which the planet Gandalvalosus was officially discovered.

[edit] 3005

[edit] 3009

  • The year when the raccoon/poor people baby count jumped 200%.
  • Johnny Cash Finnaly does fall into the "Ring of fire".
  • The Bill Gates cyborg suffers a fatal error, due to running off Windows 3001, he dies, while screaming incoherent nonsense about frat parties and sodomy.
  • The year some little kid takes you to in a "flux capasitor"
  • Coca-Cola buys Mars, Jupiter, Mercury and Bilbo Baggins.

[edit] 3010

[edit] 3011

  • 3011 is, logically, the year after 3010. But by a strange loophole in time, the year 3011 will be immediately followed by the year 4219. Having skipped a period of 1,208 years, the era between 3011 and 4219 will be "remembered" as a dark age by the inhabitants of the future. Also note that 3011 = 42 + 2969.
  • 3011 is also the ratio of the number of Deadly Owls to Genius Barbers

[edit] 3015

  • the Country of Mexico Wins the USA from Bush VIII on a bet that he could drink Pepsi faster than Bush could. Mexico is then conquered by Canada who is, in turn, conquered by the Soviet Union. Bush VIII swells up and explodes, spawning Bushes IX through XLVII.

[edit] 3112

  • Ricky shoots Neil Peart again. Neil Peart moves to Neo-Canada.
  • World population finally passes the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 mark.

[edit] 3113

  • Rush releases the song 3112, the hit sequel to 2112. As it is released approximately 1000 years after 2112 (which was of course released in 2113), people add that as though it is of some significance when analyzing this song.

[edit] 3114

The year when Pepsi declared war on Coke. Later that year, Pepsi discovers a formula which, if a Coke drinker touches a can of Pepsi, will cause them to feel immense pain for two months before finally dying.

[edit] 3118

After the war on Pepsi and Coke ended with a victory by Dr. Pepper, Pepsi realized with great despair that their pain inflicting formula actually brings people back from the dead as zombies after four years. Half of the Planet Sony is consumed by the undead. Luckily for Planet Sony, millions of teenagers educated on Dr. Pepper and PlayStation 69 utilize their Resident Evil Skills and save the earth. Shotgun companies report record profits.

  • Pepsi mysteriously dies when the mafia shoots them mysteriously for mysteriously riding camels for mysertious reasons involving a mysterious cactus named Filipe. MYSTERIOUSLY!

[edit] 3119-3203

Absolutely no events what-so-ever take place between the years 3119-3203. Seriously... none at all.

[edit] 3204

Mortal Kombat becomes a great trend in this year. Players all across the world are told of a secret "Reality" feature, which ends up killing 80% of the population. The government then try to hide the game for the well being of the other 20%, which happends to just be a bunch of hippies aliens and trash punks.

[edit] 3265

The last Harry Potter book is released.

[edit] 3266

The last Harry Potter movie is released.

[edit] 3305

Archeologists discover an ancient mailbox. Because of the inscription "USMAIL" and the envelopes inside, they believe that people once made daily offerings to the god Usmail. By finding white powder in the box, they believe that it was added as a spice. They also speculate the existence of a goddess Usfemail, but have yet to find such a box.

[edit] 3452

YHWH comes down from Heaven. In a fright, archeologists mail letters to Him, believing Him to be the pagan god Usmail. YHWH smites them hard.
Everyone gathers to where the mighty YHWH has landed. In a pillar of cloud, He summons them; with a flash of smoke, He destroys them: those who attempted to poison and destroy His children will know that He is the LORD, when He lays his vengeance upon them.
After He furiously destroys the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men, YHWH declares that to get to Heaven, one must...

[edit] 3452 v2.0

The Five General Demigods of All Humanity reboot the year in an effort to gather the righteous for another eon.

Judgment Day does not occur... for now.

All years after this date are marked with A.J.D., instead of the prior A.3.C. (After Third Coming). Everyone forgets to use the new date system. PTA blamed.

'musical' gang declare it's fun to stay at the YHWH , signaling the return of Jesus Christ and his comically mismatched black sidekick.

[edit] 3468

[edit] 3535

In the year 3535 Humans become programed cyborgs

[edit] 3985

Brazil, having become grossly overpopulated by Hitlers, is transplanted with a Brazil loaned from a distant planet. Planet Sony survived the surgery.

[edit] 4000

General information about that most beautiful of numbers, 4000:

  • It is the number after 3999 and before 4001.
  • It is an even number.
  • It has four digits, the first of which is four. How's that for a coincidence.

If you are talking about the year 4000:

  • It comes after the year 3999 and before the year 4001.
  • The first 'economy' anti-gravity vehicle is expected to be unveiled during this year.
  • It is a leap year except for odd-numbered addresses on the west side of Obeliskistan beyond the lower peg.
  • The Y4K bug is expected to cause the apocalypse, but surely programmers won't still be programming this way at that point.
  • October 5 this year is when the telegraph made to George W. Bush on that day in 2003 will arrive, on the telegraph receiver in the ruins of the White