4 Minutes to Save the World

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The 4 Minute War
"Whoa, is that a giant timer?"
Date March 17, 2008 - March 17, 2008 +4 minutes Location Various public locations where you could be arrested for public indecency, and a uni-sexual public bathroom. Result There's like this huge black thing, y'know its evil, and black.
Combatants
Pretty much every human (with the exception of <insert name here>, who wishes the world would end because he is a suicidal fuck).	The darkness...
Commanders
Madonna, Justin Timberlake, Timbaland	Oh no.. it can't be..
Strength
93	Unknown.
Casualties
0-93 dead. 90 hostages.	Unknown
The attackers themselves were in the form of this black thing, which could count as 1 big enemy, or an infinite number of little enemies combined. Kuribo!

On March 17, 2008, someone told the world that the world would "be turned off", (even though that technically if the world was "turned off", future worldly messages like this would not be possible). Due to crappy software and some slight technical issues, most of the world was not told about this. It was actually a decision made by the high organization of computers, the world was using too much power and resources, and in their eyes was about to suffer Phosphor burn-in. This black shield, was a screensaver. Everything happened at the "Black Island Studios" in London, but still, no one has tried to inspect it up because the word hasn't got out.

Contents 1 An error has occurred. To continue: 2 Negotiation 2.1 Information Concerning the Enemy 3 Demands cont. & Result

[edit] An error has occurred. To continue:

Crap, an error occurred, what now? There appears to be some detailed instructions on it, but they're incredibly technical. I think I'll leave it alone for awhile.

This was everyones reaction to Global Warming. I think I'll discuss what to do, even though there are detailed instructions before me. On March 17th, 2008, God had had enough, and decided to fix it. It is rumoured by some conspiracists that the above was a ridiculous assumption and that "God says" is not a proper answer. Too bad. But that's not even the point, no one cares about Global Warming, let's pay attention to the real point.

In London, a strange black wall appeared (it is unknown where it began, but shuddap), it began moving through the city and consumed everything it passed. Already in London, for undisclosed reasons were Madonna, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. They were appointed the only people who could save the world. Other conpiracists have questioned why 3 celebrities were sent, and not immediately followed by the police or army, but no one cares.

[edit] Negotiation

Timbaland started freaking out, screaming "I'm out of time and all I got is 4 minutes" several times until Madonna cuffed him on the back of the head and he shut up.

With less than 3 1/2 minutes left, Madonna and Justin Timberlake started singing and dancing. Timberland, injured by Madonnas hand of might, was on the floor and did not participate in the dancing.

Hailed as a brilliant diversion by everyone, the giant black wall went slower. This dossier was discovered by the UN about the wall.

[edit] Information Concerning the Enemy

It is Unknown where it originated, but it is still currently over the Studio and surrounding area.

×	Base	Modifier	In said battle
Hit Points	600	3d20+2	666
Attack Points	4d20+5	+STR	63 (just enough to end the world)
Defense Points	3d6+4	+DEF	4579
Speed	1d8+10	-DEX	12

The black background is obviously an attempt by a communist dictatorship to harm the US, and all US citizens. Because y'know, that's what evil communist dictators want, to harm US peoples. People like Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Il, Osama Bin Laden, some french king, Che Guevara, Bobby Henderson, Tay Zonday, Robert Mugabe, and Mr. Clean. What horrible communist people who hate the United States of America!

Here's a picture of it's evil communist power.

Incredible stuff. This background also runs (travels?), extraordinarily fast, capable of destroying much of everything imaginable, with one jerky movement.

[edit] Demands cont. & Result

There were many HD Quality cameras inside the Studio, allowing us to witness what was going on in stunning picture on my brand new $5000, 50" Pioneer Elite PRO-110FD Plasma flat screen with FullHD quality.

It was like we were right there! But I personally believe that most U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, some people out there in our nation don't have nice TVs and I believe that our entertainment such as in South Africa, and the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should help our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., or should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our children. With our TVs.

I'll admit, my wife said that. God she's gorgeous. Anyway, did I mention it's HD yet? But then after 4 minutes, it went all dark, and my intelligent beautfiul wife said "we watching those Suh-Prane-Ohs?" isn't she hilarious? God she's beautiful when she's not wearing clothing...

Ah yes, and um.. the cable company said there was nothing and suddenly I got a call from a few dictators questioning how I was able to watch live coverage from a warzone in my living room...

But alas, this is a conflict that will probably not end (or make significant progress) for many years..