HowTo:Be a n00b in 5 ways

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[edit] 7. Reading this page

If u need 2 read this page 2 learn how 2 b a n00b then ur an lvl3 ubern00b nd Michael Jackson will rape u lol!11one!!1

[edit] 6. Typing "Boom! Headshot!!11!!1!!" every time you get a headshot

This will not only get people pissed off at you, but also sends a message saying "look at me!!!! I'm a n00b!!!11!11!1!". If getting a Boom! Headshot! is cause for you to celebrate, then you are not 1337, making you a n00b.

[edit] 5. Talk in instant messenger format

Barely acceptable when chatting by using MSN or Yahoo, netspeaking on a forum or whilst playing an online game is a prime example of n00b. Using phrases like 'Y' instead of 'why' or 'R' instead of 'are' make you look like an absolute douche, as well as make people think you use AOL, which is bad enough already.

Also if you want to be a n00b you should not put periods at the end of your sentences

EX of n00b talk: Hai Wat r u guys doin r u gai

Proper Form: Hey, what are you guys doing? Are you having trouble with your ways of life?

Talking in n00b will have u bulied by 1337 forum members and other n00bs who think they r 1337 It is strongly advised you do not talk in n00b

[edit] 4. Random posts not relating to the main topic

Let's say you are in a forum talking about video games. All of a sudden you make a post like:

Im Hungry feed me some hair from the barber

This post will or should be deleted right away by a forum moderator. This will not make you any friends. But if you're a n00b you most likely don't have any to begin with. Here are some posts that may be made after you post something so off topic:

Shut Up!

Not you Again!

Go the Hell Away!

The Hamsterville section is over there --->>> NO FUCKING NADE SPAMMING! *cries*

NO FUCKING NADE SPAMMING! *cries*

IM RICK JAMES, BITCH!!!!!!!!1111!

(This saying has been outlawed by the Committee. Of. People. .who hate noobS[who aren't noobs, unlike you] (COPS)

You think we br r n00b but we ar win u! We ar win u all!

GTFO MY INTERNET!

The BR section is over there!!!!!!!

All very common and also very true.

[edit] 3. Just being bad at the game in which you are attempting to play

Lets say you're playing StarCraft. You decide to play as the protoss, and why not, they have shields! But if you play as the protoss what are you doing, making carriers when you are being massed by zerg and your allies are nowhere in sight? Why, you just keeping on making carriers, of course! Nothing is better than watching your army get annihilated while you just sit on your ass and wait to build more interceptors. And that's what n00bs do!

[edit] 3.5 Answering "correct" to these questions

1) Congradualtions, you are now taking the Quiz on Drugs! Uh, good? What the Hell? I was just looking around. Oh shit, I'm not going to prison again. Shit, I hate this website. I haven't seen Andrew in a while, where is he?

2) Right, so, what is Boil My Kettle! Productions Some Drunk guys and a dog Sam's Pornstar Name A drug/narcotics manufacturing firm Dutch Mining Company Where the Fuck are my Pants?

3) What is our Motto? "Walk softly and carry a big gun." "Top-heavy girls make the rockin' world go round." "Pacifying the Populous since 1922." "T|-|1$ Qu3$t1()|\| |5 \/\/1TT3|\| ||\| 1337." "Let's all get naked and pile on top of each other."

4) Did _______ ever________ ___ a _____ ____ lubricant _____! _______? One great Weekend. He did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! BBC BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BA BBC BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BA BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BA They both exploded

5) How many Drugs are there? 5 I can count them on my fingers I don't fucking care! Just get rid of the Cancer! 6 Jilly bit off my fingers

6) Специальные тайны в моем тылу ? Это эйнт никакая луна Nerds FC Белый флаг анти-Болскавик сторона Дискотека два электрический богалу

7) Fuck you man, you pay me. YOU PAY ME! Fuckin' Skinks! Proxy Error You will never escape form the Dungeon Dimentions! http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/BBC Man, he must be out of Idea, he's putting URL's as answers

8) My favourite spice i$? Cummin %%%% $$$$$ Shoe

9) Z to tha D's 8.5 Step Plan to a Happier You!!!! 1. Don't think 3. Drop pants 3.5. Rinse, repeat if desired 4. Fight the man 7. Sleep now in tha Fire

10) Moral of the Story is: Wake up from anti-communist brainwashing Townsfolk should rebel against capitalistic dictatorships Monkeys are Funny Communism leads to freedom fuck sweden in poo

11) After taking this quiz I feel: Like a burger Disperate (is that even a word?) Happy Strangely Aroused Safe

[edit] 2.Desicrating the English Languge by Speaking with any Middle-American Accent

It just shows you up as a complete arse. That tedious little inclination to end each word with an autistic-type slur, the constant use of the phrase "douché bag" and that prodominently American gamers think that they are somehow better than any other gamer out there; this leaving them with lots of congealed hatred at the base of their spine ready to shoot up and ejaculate from their mouths th instant they die. This is one of the many reasons why mics should be banned from America, allong with the other reason involving a certain shape that persists in the designing of voip mics and san fransisco.

[edit] 1. Asking Questions

If you have to ask, what a forum is about or how to do something then you are a n00b! If you have to ask 'What is E-fed?', then you are a n00b! If you have to ask 'How duz i shot?', then you are a n00b! IF YOU IZ ARE ASK QUESTION IN BAD AMERCAN ENGISHIT AND MUCH CAPITALS; then you are a n00b! If you have to say 'Meow im getting run over by a cat!', then you are not asking a question you are being a n00b! N00b N00B /\/oo|3 noob! Fucks sake...

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