99th Red Balloon Infantry

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The 99th Red Balloon infantry is an elite fighting force, at minutes standby, equipped with effective, tactical ballloooons. they are highly trained in the conduct of balloooooon warfare, and are one of the most feared fighting formations in the world.

[edit] Origin

The history, formation and structure of the 99th red balloon infantry division (Der neufty-neun roten zeppelin sturm-bahn gefuhren menner) is documented well in the divisions historic and stirring anthem by the German band Nena.

You and I in a little toy shop
  Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got

Set them free at the break of dawn

'Til one by one, they were gone 

Herr doktor Braun's initial concept was of warfare by balloon. it is believed that he got the idea around 1954, when in the local toy shop, whilst inadvertently inhaling helium, and realised that ballooooons, specifically ones coloured red, could be used devastingly in warfare.

Back at base, bugs in the software
 
Flash the message, 

Something's out there 

Floating in the summer sky 

99 red balloons go by 

General Braun immediately returned to the base, and set about standing up the 99th RABIDs (as they later became to be known). within hours, he had a troop of 99 men, standing by with fully armed prototype tactical baloooons.

Later that week, in order to fully train the 99th RABIDs Lord Browning-semi-detached ordered a full tactical exercise, to both demonstrate to the world the potency of his countries, and to ensure that the troops were fully prepared..

99 red balloons, floating in the summer sky 

Panic bells, it's red alert 

There's something here, from somewhere else 

The war machine springs to life 

Opens up one eager eye 

Focusing it on the sky 

Where 99 red balloons go by 

On june the twelfth, at approixmately 3:04.34, Chairman Braown issued the order.

99 Decision Street 

99 ministers meet 

To worry, worry, super-scurry 

Call the troops out in a hurry 

This is what we've waited for 

This is it boys, this is war 

The president is on the line 

As 99 red balloons go by 

The exercise was an outstanding success. Brown had successfully panicked every single world leader into panic. and some into picnics. This off-side Oddball had shown them that he was capable of a real threat. The threat of balloon warfare.

99 Knights of the air 

Ride super-high-tech jet fighters 

Everyone's a Silver hero 

Everyone's a Captain Kirk 

With orders to identify 

To clarify and classify 

Scramble in the summer sky 

As 99 red balloons go by 

Realising That Brown had released many tactical balloons, the League of Nations scrambled fighter jets to identify and to try and more understand the threat posed. Unfortunatly, the technology drifted out of range before its devastaing effects could be unlocked. Brown is the only know posessor of this tecnology, making the 99th RABIDs unique.

99 dreams I have had 

In every one a red balloon 

It's all over and I'm standin' pretty 

In this dust that was a city 

If I could find a souvenir 

Just to prove the world was here 

And here is a red balloon 

I think of you and let it go 

Currentl the 99th RABIDs are under a state of high alert, protecting the world from vacant consumerism and are also renowned for their sartorial style.

[edit] Tactics and training

Only a scarce few are privy to the tactics of the 99th RABIDs. It is genarally thought that, in times of extreme crises, balloons are released, to deadly effect.

The 99th RABIDs train regularly, both individually , and up to battlegroup level. Because the operatin of the 99th RABIS is so secretive, it is thought that higher echelon training is calculated to co-incide with large charity events.

Many 99th RABIDs retire to become ballon sellers at amusement parks. Most amusment park companies employ them as dual role employees - balloon selling and covert high-level war-mongering. - Make sure you don't cross the next balloooon seller you meet, they might just be an ex-99ther!

[edit] Weapons

The 99th RABIDs are armend with a variety of red ballooons,. ranging from hand held anti-personnell balloons to strategic red dirigibles. little is known of their construction, other than the trademark red colour.