A.J.P. Taylor
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“...there was nothing wrong with Hitler except that he was a German.”
~ A.J.P. Taylor on on Hitler(seriously)
A well known Welsh historian, as well as a secret Nazi, A.J.P. Taylor also found fame as victim in one of Britain's most mysterious murder cases, a situation which he would not enjoy.
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[edit] Early Life
Born in Chywnddraighodyeloch, Wales in 1911, Taylor grew up on a small (or by conflicting accounts extremely large) farm also located in Chywnddraighodyeloch, Wales. (Well actually, just a little bit outside of the town limits; it would be very silly for a farm, even a small one, to be in the middle of a town-can you imagine the problems caused by livestock roaming around accosting old ladies...?) He became interested in Communism during college, but when Che Guevara wouldn't return his calls he became very angry and wrote a scathing book review of the Communist Manifesto, saying that it "lacked originality...had a stale and overused storyline...and there was no character development whatsoever." This created an even greater rift between him and the Party, so he joined the Labour Party (mainly composed of midwives and the pregnant) in 1968.
[edit] Fame as Historian
From the year 1949 Taylor was acknowledged as one of Britain's most foremost historians, commonly found standing in front of ruins lecturing to a TV audience composed of several history buffs and Che Guevara, who was very, very sorry for not returning Taylor's calls. These dry speeches were very British, in that they could turn the most fascinating things into something as exciting as a drywall sandwich. (Incidentally Britain's most consumed sandwich.) Essentially he described the trials and tribulations of armies and leaders and philosophers in a rather monotonous voice, winning the hearts of millions in the British Empire and beyond.
[edit] Death
Taylor's death was under suspicious circumstances. It was Autumn 1974, and Taylor had agreed to document for BBC television the journeys of King Arthur and his brave knights of Camelot. The incident occurred during one vignette in front of dilapadated Scottish ruins, regarding Arthur's defeat at the hands of a very rude Frenchman. As BBC was very cheap at the time they could not provide a camera crew for Taylor, thus he was filmed by an elderly woman, Ms. Nelly O'Reginald, whom the BBC owed money. The camera eveidence and her testimony both state that he was suddenly ridden down by an armed knight who proceeded to cut Taylor's throat in a gory and low-budget fashion.
[edit] Aftermath
In the hours after the case the local police were hot on the trail, well-aware that out-of-place medieval types were reported to be lurking about in the area. (Or was it the modern types who were out of place? Hmmm...) They tramped through the dark forests, eventually finding a suspicious trampled shrubbery that had evidently been thoroughly enjoyed. Later that day three "persons of interest" were apprehended. Going by the names of "Lancelot of Camelot," "King Arthur of Camelot," and "Bedivere of Camelot" they fitted the description of the armed marauder who had killed Taylor. The knights proclaimed their innocence but the police callously replied, "You all look the same to us."
Currently the three are serving twenty years in prison for murder, disturbance of the peace, carrying offensive weapons, and riding on coconuts without a license. However, Amnesty International has claimed multiple times that they are innocent and were victims of profiling. In addition Bob Dylan has recorded a popular folk song called "The Troubling Plight of the Coconut Knights," detailing the perceived injustices that the three prisoners received in their hasty arrests and trial.




