A.R.M.A.G.E.D.D.O.N.
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Let's face it: the world's gonna die one day, and you're going down with it. And whether it's by divine intervention, nuclear war, or some other freakish force of nature, it's an unfortunate fact that most people don't know how to protect themselves during such events. That's why the Department of Homeland Security has recently developed yet another catchy acronym to help you remember your do's and don'ts of post-Apocalyptic survival, especially after the horrible failure of U.D.E.S.E.R.V.E.I.T....
Always keep some holy water nearby--you never know when the bloodthirsty zombies will attack.
Repent! Whatever you did, for some reason you've been left behind. Ask God for your forgiveness, humble yourself to him, blah blah, maybe he'll believe you...
Mind your manners, even in this cold, unforgiving world--you don't want your fellow survivors to eat you first.
Always ask the one smart bio-chemist-cartographer-Yale-scientist-guy among you if anything is safe to consume, and make sure you eat him last.
Get to shelter. If you're still around during the Apocalypse, it's probably cause you're sinner, so watch out for the Taahgaarxians, and always carry shark repellant.
Epitaphs. Come on, you at least want to be remembered when you die in a fiery inferno, right? Get to work on your tombstone.
Don't eat the animals, they've probably been severely warped by the nuclear fallout. In fact, as a general rule, don't eat anything that moves.
Do, a deer, a female deer--Re, a drop of golden sun--Mi, a name, I call myself"...
Orcs don't like garlic. Make sure everyone in your party is armed with a necklace of cloves, and at least some type of fire-based spell to cast at the attacking Orc.
N00bs can always be eaten first.
