A1

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The A1 is a tarmac-based life-form approximately 409.134 miles in length. Starting in London, the A1 leads directly to Edinburgh.

[edit] Early life

The A1 (full name The Altogether Quite Malevolent Carriageway Of Doom #1) was born in 1982 to Chris Rea and Danger Mouse.

Growing up was difficult, and the A1 initially began a career in being a syc pys cyclepath. An addiction to raspberry Pop Tarts had turned him a fine shade of rose, and the outlook was particularly grim.

[edit] Moving on

In 1989, a chance encounter with famed gravel eater John Prescott led to the A1 kicking his habit and instead eating the shit-encrusted shingle produced from Prescott's bulbous anus. Rapid growth ensued, and by early 1991 the A1 had reached Doncaster.

[edit] Sinister turns

Whilst traversing the country, the A1 had started to tire of simple gravel, and sought out something new and more interesting. He found it in potatoes. This soon developed into a full-blown King Edward addiction, and was responsible not only for the A1(M) (a.k.a. A1 (Munted)) but also the #### puddle formation that is South Yorkshire.

[edit] Today

Today the A1 reaches all the way to J69, at the Gates of Hell, also known as Margaret Thatcher's vagina. Adding to the problems of having one end stuck in a place that has yet to be explored by man, the southern end of the A1 is slowly being eaten back again by the never-stopping jaws of John Prescott. Without intervention, eventually the mouth of Prescott will meet the bush of Thatcher, possibly with disastrous results for the whole of mankind.

[edit] Other Fun Facts

The A1 is also very, very good on steak. If has a tangy, spicy flavoring. It claims to be used in 9 out of 10 steakhouses, which is obviously not true considering there are far more than 10 steakhouses.