AWCB-Hurricane War
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Also known as World War III, the war of l33t super pwnage, and the first major war to devaste the world and most of mankind that was not caused by George Bush, the AWCB-Hurricane war was a violent war that involed ripping holes into other dimensions, killing about 100 billion people, Terry Tate, Steven Colbert, Carmine, Vladimir Putin, Darth Vader, R Lee Ermey, and two perverted gamers who cleary had nothing else better to do than blow up the world.
[edit] The Orgins of the War
The details are quite vauge of course, but the beginings are centered upon Sailor Moon and her universe which is of course seperate from ours. Since the cancellation of their show in our universe, the fate of the Sailors mainly depended on the sick sexual fantasies of many horny boys, thus causing the Sailor universe to be transformed into a Hentai Porn world where AIDS and tentacle monsters ran rampant. 7 of the 9 Sailor girls commited suicide due to the overape by perverted males or tentacles.
Sailor Mars and Jupiter were the only Sailors left afterwards and they realized that they could advert this by restarting the show in Our Universe
[edit] The AWCB side
[edit] The AWCB beginning
AWCB was your average 15-year-old, high school boy/man. As an ex-fan of Sailor Moon, he later remembered about it through the internet. Months passed. One regular day, known as the day of the revolution by AWCB, he met up with his arch-nemesis Hurricane AJ. Soon, after the dimensional crossover, AWCB met up with Makoto Kino, a girl considered by his friends WAY TOO DAMN FAR OUT OF HIS LEAGUE!!!. However, he got to meet up with her, and have been dating for quite some time. After one month, Makoto decided to reveal a secret to AWCB, a secret he thought he knew, but was different. She told him about the dimensional crossover. About how and why her and Sailor Mars were transported here. Thus, AWCB went back to his roots. Roots of fighting, strategy, and awesome-ness.
[edit] AWCB's allies
AWCB had only one teammate, Sailor Jupiter. Soon, he got his friends together to assist him. He recruited the help of (whose initials will be listed) MM, BH, and MJ. MM was a person like AWCB, but cooler. BH was a person who is sneaky, and useful in the missions of trickery. MJ was like the Brawny guy, but younger, stronger, and real.
At the time, AWCB was a fan of many shows on TV and the NFL. Soon, he called up three people who would be useful. Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central's: 'The Colbert Report', Brett Favre of the Green Bay Packers New Jersey York Bretts Jets, and Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys.
When the dimensional crossover happened, two portals opened up in AWCB's town, one in his house, and another secret one at his school. As the portals opened up, other worlds were accessible. Pokemon was one of them, where he met a second girlfriend (obviously AWCB is a player) May. He enlisted the help of the Pokemon and the Trainers for his crew.
AWCB, a fan of Eric Clapton, also enlisted him as the music provider.
AWCB, American, has a father who worked for the government. Thanks to the previous statement, AWCB enlisted the help of the US Air Force. Through the government, he gained the political power help of George Dubya Bush, John McCain, and Barrack Obama
[edit] AWCB's team pre-major-war
AWCB (Leader/Military Personnel/Founder)
MM (Leader's right hand man)
BH (Spy/detective)
MJ (Military Trainer/Emergeny Resource of battles/First Native American of the Group)
Sailor Jupiter (Girlfriend number 1/Electric attacker/First Japanese of the Group)
May (Girlfriend number 2/Pokemon world team leader)
Steven Colbert (News Reporter/Motivator)
Brett Favre (Quarterback/Grenade thrower/Recreational leader)
Tony Romo (Quarterback/Grenade thrower/Receational leader)
Eric Clapton (Music provider/CBE)
USAF and other Military Branches (Primary arieal force/drop the bomb dudes)
George Dubya Bush (President of issuing attacks for no reason what-so-fucking-ever)
John McCain (Senator of Arizona/old guy of the group who offers advice for whatever POW's may appear)
Barrack Obama (President of the USA. First Black man of the group
[edit] The Mighty Side of the the Hurricane
As we all know, there was more than one Sailor during the dimensional crossover. Sailor Mars was investigating studios in her homeland of Russia to see if she could reset the series here, thus fixing her universe. While she was in Russia she ran into yet another 15 year old ex Sailor Moon fan, yes the Hurricane, he wa. Hurricane was somewhat of a noob when it came to girls but luckily for him, his idiotic charm knew no bounds when it came to women, he could make them laugh and laugh until their lungs bled. However, the catch of this was that Mars laughed her ass off by constantly burning Hurricane with her firepowers over and over again. Eventually though, Hurricane reaped the sexual rewards after having to pay over 1.2 million dollars worth in skin grafts. After much painful surgery, they began dating like husband and wife and Hurricane was told of her mission on why she appeared in his universe and Hurricane agreed to help carry out that mission. Since Hurricane was good friends with Vladimir Putin, he ordered up an armada of Soviet Hinds to reclaim the lost studio, restart Sailor Moon, and bring order to her universe.
Allies of Hurricane AJ
Hurricane had several teammates besides that of Sailor Mars, all of his friends formed a squad of elite fighters to assist him in fighting in AWCB for total global domination. His right hand man Diablo, was always on his side when it came to war and his badassery knew no bounds! Terry Tate also rose to his side of ownage and was ready to give some fools the PAIN! And Carmine from his favorite game Gears of War 2 came from planet Sera(It was doing fine) and prepared to unleash his ownage. Vladimir Putin, Stalin, and Lenin gave him the political power of Russia and the mighty Red Army with Soviet Hinds!!
Hurricane's Army
- Hurricane AJ: Supreme Commander
- xDiablo129x: Right Hand man/sniper
- Sailor Mars: Hot Sexy Flamer
- Carmine: Leader of Ground forces and Helmets
- Terry Tate: DELIVERS THE PAIN!!!
- Red Army: SOVIET HINDS!!!
- Vladimir Putin: Commander of the Red Army
- Optimus Prime: Autobot Unit
- Stalin: Scary Guy
- Locust Queen: Leader of the Locust Army
- Cliff Blezinki: Guy who insta owns people by calling them douchnozzles.
- Tentacle Monsters: Rape Sailor Jupiter
[edit] World War III
Something strange was happening. Even though that the show was restarted by Sailor Mars and Hurricane, both Sailor Mars and Jupiter did not decide to go back to their original universe to continue their lives. AWCB and Hurricane did not complain, they very much enjoyed the fact that their hot girlfreinds were here to stay.
[edit] Mars's Perverted Grampa Fucks up Everything
Who would've known that Mars's creepy grampa would fuck up the world? Well he did, he raped Sailor Jupiter when he was exiled from Russia for trying to hit on Stalin after having one too many drinks of Vodka and was sent to some remote place in Alaska. They hoped that Sarah Palin would hold him off for a while. Not so, he swam across the pacific and landed on the West Coast and then found and ear raped Sailor Jupiter. This incident was not taken well by AWCB and he yelled at Putin for this atrocity. Putin strangley responded by attacking Georgia. Bewildered, AWCB launched a deadly US attack force on Russia.
[edit] AWCB vs. Russia
After AWCB witnessed the attack on the US, he sent nuclear missiles over to bomb Russia. Unfortunately, some retard hacked into the computer system and sent the missles over to Africa. AWCB hunted down the retard, and sent him to Russia, where he then nuked Russia. It was one nuke, at an open area, meant as a warning. AWCB later quoted:
| The damn Russians attacked our US soil, so I sent them a warning missle. If they fuck with me again, they are gonna be dead! First, we'll get Alexey Pajitnov out of there 'cuz I love Tetris. It's a damn good game! We'll try to brainwash him first, or get him anti-russia. |
The warning told Hurricane and the Russians if they were gonna keep fucking with the US, they should move.
[edit] The Soviet Hinds Attack America
It was clearly clear that Russia wasn't simply going to take this bullshit. From that point on Russia defined that it had the Ultimate Weapon, a weapon of mass destruction that no nuclear device could replicate. Hurricane called in.... THE SOVIET HINDS!!!!!
Hind
Full name known as Hindius Sovietus, the Hind is the clear God Weapon that can lay waste to entire countries with one fell attack swoop. It was believed that mad scienetist, Adolf Shwinckindorf, was responsible for the creation of the Hind. It was made by combinding a number of different things together in a perverted sexual manner. The Hind is the offspring of Sailor Venus, a Brumak, Chuck Norris, R. Lee Ermey, Carmine, a bannana, and some rat poison. The result was a super Helicopter with too many guns on it. It was clear godlikeness, for it laid waste to practically everything that moved. Afganistan, for example was once a lush rainforest before the Hinds attacked, afterward, it became a scorching desert filled with shit.
Hind Attack
Nevertheless, Hurricane and Sailor Mars led a massive attack force of Soviet Hinds on the East Coast of the United States. It was about 10 Hinds that attacked. 10 minutes later, the whole East Coast asploded laying waste to every city as far in as the Ohio River Valley. 99.9% of the Midwest population was killed in the brutal assualt, around 50 Brazillion people were ass raped by the asplosion. Few who lived to tell the tale either commited suicide due to Post Traumatic Stress or they curled into fetal position and burst into tears just remembering the horror of the Hinds. Only those west of Austin, Texas survived the explosion. AWCB and his team were safe in New Mexico.
"It was as if Hell itself erupted onto the Earth. Everything was obliterated!!
AAAAHHH!!! THE HORROR!!! 'Kills self with gun'" Some guy who surrvived the Hinds
After the Russian attack, the United Nations disbanded, fully. The U.S. and Russia were the only sides in the war.
[edit] AWCB Responds
When news of the Hind reached AWCB, he was pissed. NO! He was so fucking angry, he decided to take this war to the next level, through the portals! To AWCB's unfortune, Hurricane had access to the portals. AWCB then decided to go through the portal, with all the equipment and teammates he had, and go attack Hurricane on his side! Armed with many AK47, and 99 clips of it per AK47, AWCB made the first attack on Hurricane's army by bringing his team to Hurricane's side, and shooting every person they saw. Sure it was a cheap shot, but it decreased Hurricane's army by about 1500 people. Also an unfortunate situation (to AWCB), Hurricane had a second portal. But AWCB was prepared! He set up a blockade there. AWCB sent BH to spy on Hurricane's plans. BH was never found, as the military gave BH a prototype Invisible suit.
[edit] AWCB receives more allies
AWCB had MJ hunt down Osama Bin Laden. It did not take MJ long to hunt down Bin Laden, as Bin Laden escaped beyond Austin, Texas before the attack of the Hind. MJ captured Bin Laden, brought him to AWCB's home base (what used to be AWCB's High School) and tied him up. AWCB talked to Bin Laden. After 2 hours, Bin Laden agreed to let AWCB control Afghanistan's secret weapon-of-mass-destruction base.
AWCB sent Sailor Jupiter and May to Japan for technological support in high-tech weapons. Japan agreed because of their anti-communism beliefs. Japan went hard at work to more weapons.
AWCB explored different worlds, 3 worlds he explored were Tales of Symphonia (ToS), Negima, and Sailor Moon (after Sailor Jupiter returned). While in ToS, AWCB met two major helps, Lloyd Irving and Raine Sage. Raine Sage could revive fallen fighters, and Lloyd Irving could fight long and hard skillfully with Twin Swords. In Negima, AWCB recruited a young 10-year-old boy named Negi, a skillful magic user, and also recruited a vampire named Evangeline. When Sailor Jupiter returned, AWCB, Sailor Jupiter, and Raine Sage went to the Sailor Moon world to revive the fallen suicide committed Sailor Scouts. The 7 scouts (Moon, Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) were revived.
[edit] The 7 revived Sailor Scouts, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Mars collision.
When the 7 revived Sailor Scouts were revived, they were soon told of what happened to Sailor Mars. MM thought of a plan:
| Hey AWCB! I have an idea. If we send the 8 Sailor Scouts over to Russia to confront Sailor Mars, we might get her to join our side! |
AWCB responded:
| MM, I see two different ideas in that: 1. We kidnap Sailor Mars. or 2. uh... We kidnap Sailor Mars |
AWCB and MM both agreed that they kidnap Sailor Mars. AWCB decided to send 3 of his best men to protect the 8 Sailor Scouts and kidnap Sailor Mars. Barrack Obama told AWCB that if they were going to do that, he should give some advice:
| AWCB, what you are doing is a very risky tactic. If you go thorugh with this, let me tell you something John McCain told me before this happened. He said 'If war erupts among us all Mr. President-Elect Barrack Obama, before anyone is taken as a POW, make sure there is some sort of weaponry to defend any and all transportation and citizens.' AWCB, please take use of my advice for whoever you send over. |
AWCB took that advice, and sent many jets over to Russia, only for defending transportation.
[edit] That Night
While Hurricane was sleeping, AWCB's deployments arrived in Russia. It was dark, and Russia was not prepared. Silently, the Sailor Scouts were able to kidnap Sailor Mars without a sound. While that was happening, BH snuck on board. They then left without a trace and left a note:
| From Sailor Mars: Dearest Hurricane, I think that I have had an unfortunate change in my sexuality. I have decided to leave to Germany so that I can explore my self. Love, Sailor Mars. |
[edit] End of the Worlds
Hurricane had it, the only way to truly make an army to match up against all of the Sailor Scouts was to summon one of the most powerful forces that any race has ever known. Simply put, if he couldn't have Mars, no one could. He called upon the mighty Trocasian Empire, a vast alien regime with weapons far more advanced than Japanese weapons to destroy Anime Japan. His right hand man, Diablo, called upon the Locust Horde to destroy AWCB and all of the Sailor Scouts allied with him.
Invasion/ Emergence Day
Since after kiddnapping Mars, AWCB had retreated into the Sailor Universe to avoid the Hinds in pursuit of him. Hurricane clearly realized this and him and Diablo followed AWCB into the portal to the Sailor Universe.
| This fool clearly underestimates my power |
AWCB was basking in his glory with the Sailor Scouts in Tokyo, thinking that he won the vicious war against Hurricane. He paraded through the streets of Tokyo when he was stopped by his arch enemy, it was actually the first time they met. Hurricane and Diablo stood before AWCB and his fellow comrades. He chuckled when noticing that they were unarmed so he pulled out his AK47 and prepared to execute his opponents right on the spot. Before he pulled the trigger, an earthquake ripped through the city frightening everyone. Dazed, AWCB regained his balance to find that Hurricane and Diablo ran off. He left behind a note saying "It was hard enough for the COG to deal with an enemy that appeared from any point underground, lets see how you can handle an enemy that can come from both ways." That message got his heart racing and a few seconds after reading the note, the ground exploded and hundreds of humminoid creatures crawled out of the ground armed with heavy weapons blazing. AWCB quickly blazed the oncoming horde with his AK but they were too tough and the bullets were ineffective. Much larger creatures called Brumaks erupted from the ground going on godzilla rampages through the city firing the rockets and machine guns that they had equipped to them. People screamed as the Locust Horde began brutally slaughtering everything in sight. AWCB quickly tried to retreat with the Sailor Scouts to only be cornered by yet another emergence hole, this time, the infamous Locust General, Skorge, popped out of the hole. He was the nastiest motherfucker AWCB had ever laid eyes upon. With his agile movements and his double ended chainsaw staff, he sawed most of his magical allies, such as Lloyd Irving, Raine Sage, Negi, and Evangeline, in half, rendering their bodies unrevivalbe. Tuxedo Mask was also sawed in half along with his girlfriend, Sailor Moon.
Worse was yet to come, when they were cornered, the ground rumbled and thousands of Trocasian fighter ships began glassing the city. Two Hinds driven by Hurricane and Diablo hovered to where AWCB was trapped. He waved goodbye to his enemy and a huge ass worm burst under the ground where AWCB was standing and it swallowed him and the Sailor Scouts. Hurricane laughed maniacally as the Rift Worm shoved AWCB into its bowels.
[edit] The Final Showdown
After AWCB was swallowed by the giant worm, he took a acid-protective suit before he went into the stomach, and put it on. By causing the worm indigestion, AWCB quickly shoved his way through the worms ass, out of the worm. AWCB took the suit off, and went to confront Hurricane.
AWCB left the portal area to enter the Russia Hurricane was currently at. AWCB, being the sneaky self he was like BH, went to the throne Hurricane was sitting at. AWCB the yelled:
| HURRICANE! I AM SICK OF ALL THIS SHIT YOU HAVE BEEN PUTTING THESE WORLDS THROUGH! I AM SICK OF ALL THE KILLINGS YOU HAVE MADE! FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME EVER, YOU, ME, FIGHT MAN-TO-MAN!!! RIGHT NOW MOTHERFUCKER! |
Hurricane replied:
| All right AWCB, its time. However, whoever wins gets to take command of the throne. |
AWCB said back:
| Deal. But, we don't fight with any fancy weapons! We fight with our fists and our feet! One-on-one! |
Hurricane said:
| Deal. Let's begin... |
AWCB and Hurricane came rushing up to each other as fast as they could, and before either could lay a hit on each other...
After the flash happened... AWCB and Hurricane both found each other in heaven, facing each other, about to see God. God soon appeared and said to AWCB and Hurricane:
| ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU MOTHERFUCKING ENEMIES FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND DESTROYING MY MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!!! |
AWCB then turned towards God and asked but one question. How you doin' God? I am sorry about what Hurricane has done and what he caused me to do.
God then told AWCB to be quiet. AWCB replied: Yes sir.
God looked to Hurricane and in all his anger said:
| HURRICANE! I AM DISSAPOINTED IN YOU! I DID NOT WANT YOU AND AWCB TO FIGHT! I WANTED YOU AND AWCB TO BRING ABOUT WORLD PEACE!!! |
God then turned to AWCB and said:
| AWCB, LET ME TELL YOU AND HURRICANE WHY I BROUGHT THE TWO OF YOU ONTO EARTH, AND WHY I ALLOWED THE SAILOR MOON WORLD TO BECOME AVAILABLE TO YOU ALL. |
God then told AWCB and Hurricane about what he wanted to happen. He wanted them to spread about world peace. He did say he enjoyed watching the fight, but after the destruction of quite a few worlds, he was pissed. God then allowed Hurricane and AWCB to duke it out one more time, with the same rules as what AWCB had said (fist and feet for you fuckers that forgot). AWCB and Hurricane then went into a brutal brawl.
[edit] AWCB vs. Hurricane. Final Round.
AWCB and Hurricane did what they tried to do before. Run at each other and hit each other. AWCB was smart when he was running, instead of hitting him, he tripped Hurricane before Hurricane could hit AWCB. AWCB then picked up Hurricane and rammed him into a wall God had put up for the fight. Hurricane countered by kicking AWCB in the balls. AWCB was in pain, but could still fight, as he had a will stronger than any amount of pain he could ever accept. AWCB then hit Hurricane many times. Hurricane lost some teeth, but did the same to AWCB. AWCB; however, could use his feet to shove Hurricane away. After many hours of fighting, blood being spilled, teeth being lost, and water being drunk, AWCB finally pinned down Hurricane and had his foot on his neck. Hurricane was about to die, or so he thought... AWCB then gave Hurricane a closer feeling of death, then lifted his foot up. AWCB spoke:
| Hurricane, I had a good fight, but I will not kill you. I will kill Diablo after this shit. Let me speak to God. |
God then spoke:
| EXCELLENT FIGHT YOU TWO. AWCB, I WOULD SAY THAT YOU ARE NOW THE NEW WINNER. I WILL GIVE YOU ONE WISH. HURRICANE, YOU LOST, SO YOU DON'T GET JACK. |
AWCB then requested:
| Dear God, Thank You for declaring me the winner. My wish, is that you restore everything to the way it was before Hurricane attacked Georgia. Make it so only Hurricane, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, and I remember everything that happened, and Hurricane is not gonna be an evil asshole. I apologize about swearing towards you, about some guy. |
God made it so. Only Hurricane, AWCB, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Mars remember what happened. You; however, do not. Forget this. NOW! Hurricane and AWCB were able to become friends, the portals stayed open, everyone that died (except Osama Bin Laden) were revived, and all that other good shit happened.
[edit] AWCB and Hurricane, buds
AWCB and Hurricane became friends. They played games and other shit. Until... Hurricane's Xbox 360 blew up. This time, Hurricane and AWCB went to attack Bill Gates! But not without stealing all his money and getting another Xbox 360. Then they played Gears 2 and rode a Brumak off into the sunset.
[edit] The End of the Craziest War that YOU don't have a fucking memory of!!!
The End. Yeah, that's it. Go away! You know what happened, now get out of here! Don't make me send AWCB and Hurricane on you! They fucking killed Bill Gates! Until, he was brought back to life, but that's different!
