AWP

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The AWP, shorthand for "African Woman's Pistol", is a bolt-action, gas-blowback, coin-operated sniper rifle. These characteristics, alongside its uncanny ability to pwn n00bs, have given the weapon a place in the hearts of armies around the world, particularly armies who regularly face opponents who prefer to stab their foes in the chest with their rifles instead of simply firing at them. If you use this weapon, you will immediately be labelled a , "Fag", your mother a, "Whore", and your gun, a "Noob cannon"

AWP users.  Note that AWPing is considered socially unacceptable without a silly hat.
AWP users. Note that AWPing is considered socially unacceptable without a silly hat.

[edit] Overview

The AWP's most striking characteristic is its large, green butt, which is not unlike that of the Hulk. Unlike the previously mentioned Hulk, the AWP is not prohibited under the Geneva Convention, nor is it approved for children under 5 years of age. As a large, physically imposing rifle, it is well-suited to accommodate large cartridges, such as 338mm Lapua Magnum, .300 Winchester, 9mm Parabellum, Nerf N-Strike Darts, and Resident Evil 2 for the N64, which is the largest cartridge of them all, at 512Mb. The AWP can be upgraded with any number of attachments, including external silencers, tripods, chainsaw bayonets, 120mm mortars, and insulated cup-holders.

The AWP can also be fitted with an external muzzle brake if the user regularly encounters red traffic lights with the muzzle.

Official AWP rifles (none of that counterfeit dollar-store trash, mind you) are made by some company in Iceland. Unofficial AWP knockoffs have become popular amongst unofficial knockoff enthusiasts.


[edit] Service History

In 1997, the AWP was introduced to critical acclaim, as criticizing a company that specializes in developing weapons that can kill you from a mile away is a fairly stupid idea. The weapon went relatively unnoticed outside of that, and sales soon slumped. The company considered various disposal options for the unsold stock, such as landfills and the trashcans outside of school playgrounds, but in 1999, Counter-Strike, a highly realistic military simulation, was released, and the AWP, considered to be the main character of the game, became much more popular.

The militaries of the world, delighted in the weapon's ability to make big holes in little people, soon ordered large quantities of the weapon. The loud noise produced by firing soon proved to be a problem, so the weapon was declared to be only useful against deaf people, a role it fills honorably today. The AWP has seen combat in 26 nations, amongst them Grenada, the People's Republic of China and the United States of America.

After its success in killing single people the US military decided to attach the AWP to tank hull. This allowed for the implementation of a depleted uranium shell. If ever used in combat and misses (it will never happen) and flies into space it will hit the edge of the universe and kill everyone (about 2 million less than if actually hit something resulting in a slight inefficiency).

[edit] AI Technology Advances

"Accurracy Internationall" have unlocked the technology to contain antimatter safely and inexpensively store it within tiny objects for extreme amounts of time. They have now created experimental .338 rounds (8.6x70mm) loaded with "Anti Matter" particles within a selfcontaining stasis, the 100% energy efficiency of the propellent means it greatly increases the bullets muzzle velocity from 3000 ft/s (Current Lapua Munition) to 8240 ft/s. with the increased power of the munition; the bore and receiver of the rifle will have to overcome technological barriers, they must have a strong enough material to endure at least 3000 rounds of the new AntiMatter munition as well as finding new ways to counter the massive recoil which in its current state is too dangerous for the operator to fire.

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