Adam Ant
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Adam Ant, aka The Dandy Highwayman aka Prince Charming was a highwayman, dandy, gentleman thief and notorious rake who terrorised the perfumed aristocrats of Margaret Thatcher's Britain in the 1980s. He is best known for his tight white pantaloons, his dashing good looks, his astonishing warcry of "Aye Diddled Yer Qua Qua," having a white strip across his nose and sporting the "little-dangly-thing-on-his-forehead" that was previously made popular by Anakin Skywalker (spouse of Ms. Thatcher).
Accompanied by his band of reasonably happy men, Marco, Merryck, Terry-Lee, Gary Tibbs and Adam Ant rode a wave of surburban popularity not seen since the glam rock heyday of Marc "Watch out for that tree" Bolan and David Bowie.
[edit] Early years
Adam, born Stewey Lesmer Goodlicker in 1954, was the son of simple peasant folk. He grew up with his stern, humourless and disciplinarian Calvinist father determined that he should work in the fields or as a minister and enjoy no fun, sex or violence. But Adam was having none of that. He had always wanted to be a dashing anti-hero. He joined the notorious "punk" sect and dressed in their absurd black rags and sang their silly songs including his first ever pop hit Plastic Burberry.
Most people who remember him at this part of his career through their drug-related flashbacks, can not picture him being on stage much at all during his concerts. This was due to Adam's clumsiness.
[edit] 1980-84 Notoriety
Soon private limousines carrying important political and business figures were finding themselves flagged-down on the M25 by a dashing young man astride a Suzuki motorbike and having it demanded of them that they hand over their valuables and suitcases of money along with that nice watch Alan Sugar bought for them that time in Soho. Yes, Adam Ant had arrived in full flurry and the highways of Britain would never be the same again. For a bit. During this period, Ant was said to have looted over £10,000,000 in cash from various high-profile victims such as Donald Trump, Prince Charles and the Duke of Earl. When he robbed the ladies, they didn't mind as they were too busy giggling at his good looks, causing their spouses to become even more enraged.
Ant supplemented his criminal enterprise by releasing more pop hits such as "Kings of the Wilde Frontier", "Goody Two-Cocks" and the innuendo-laden "Stand And Deliver!" (a duet with Kenneth Williams). He soon became the most wanted man in Britain with Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher (who was immune to his charms, being not of this earth) setting up a special taskforce to bring him to justice. However, what ended up finishing Ant's criminal career was his rubbish performance at Live Aid in 1985 which prompted Bono to comment, "Christ, how embarrassing. You'd never catch me dressing up like a tit and prancing around the stage." Ant went into retirement and was largely forgotten about.
[edit] Now?
He tried to re-establish himself in the public conscience in 1990 with a single, "Room For My Cock", coinciding with a planned raid on Lloyds of London but both sadly neither really went anywhere. Then he started looking like a mixture of Ernest Hemmingway and The Man With No Name. Then he chucked an engine through the window of a pub. He is currently planning a big comeback and writing children's pornographic novels in his padded room.
