Romanian exports
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[edit] Romanian Exports
The great nation of Romania currently has only 3 exports, since these are the only products that other countries have been willing to buy. This is mainly due to the power of Romania's currency, the Pineapple, which has allowed Romania to trade on the global stage at a very favourable basis, driving prices of their products to extraordinarily high levels.
These exports, in order of popularity, are: -
[edit] Graph of Romanian Exports
[edit] Adrian Bors
Adrian Bors is one of the University of York's most popular lecturers on muie, and is also an excellent web designer. Since he is the only Romanian to have a proper job (see the Cheeky Girls), he makes a lot of money to send back to his family in Romania. Adrian Bors lives in a cardboard box near Derwent college car park.
Adrian Bors is very popular, and has a number of fans within the computer science department, as well as strong international support. Adrian Bors has won the 'Mr Romania' competition for the last three years running, winning worldwide acclaim as Romania's sexiest man.
Mr Bors also completed a research project in 1998 on 'Virtual Drilling Simulation' (see his research page) believed to be the first sex aid available in Romania. Sales of the device were phenomenal, further boosting his vast income of pineapples, and his status as a Superstar Romanian Playboy Extraordinaire!
Adrian Bors' phenomenal success however, also has a downside. For some time an amateur porn video starring 'Mr Bors' has been available in a number of seedy video stores on campus. Having watched this video for research purposes, we can reveal here that the star is not in fact Adrian Bors, but a poorly made-up invididual attempting to impersonate Adrian in order to sully his wonderful reputation. Do not fall for this trick. If you should be offered the video for sale, please report the seller to the police immediately!
[edit] The Cheeky Girls
The Cheeky Girls are a talented Romanian Pop Duo, who recently-released the hit song 'The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)', a collaboration with Composer John Williams, and the London Symphony Orchestra. This track took the Western world by storm due to its euphoric yet soulful rhythm, heart melting poetic lyrics, and truly awe-inspiring instrumental sections. "A work of unmatched genius," claimed the Guardian newspaper.Which, for the sake of common sense, should never be reiterated.
The story of Monica and Gabriela, born in Transylvania, is one that should warm even the coldest heart and not only... Refusing to accept the fate of most twenty year-old Romanian identical twins and take up careers as porn stars, the two girls instead escaped to Transylvania's docks, where, hiding inside empty Romanian vodka barrels, they were thrown into the water (Romanians throw all empty vodka barrels into the sea in order to avoid high toxic waste disposal fees). After many weeks of voyaging in their barrels, the girls were washed up on the sunny beaches of the UK (Skegness), where their waifish looks from weeks of starvation secured them an appearance on 'Popstars - the rivals'. We are terribly anxious of further developments from these stunning beauties who have such bright future ahead of them.
[edit] Cheap Romanian Vodka
Although it is one of Romania's top three exports, surprisingly little information on cheap Romanian vodka could be located. This lack of research sources dedicated to Romanian Vodka is clearly cast-iron proof that the entire Romanian vodka trade is in fact a front for a secret organisation dedicated to smuggling Adrian's 'Virtual Drilling Simulation' into countries where it is banned by law, and thus turning a vast profit. An undercover researcher has been sent into Romania to investigate, so stay tuned for further news!
| This article is part of the What I Didn't Know about Romania series. | |
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