Aelphais Mangrae
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“This is the guy that invented the modern tin can. Not to be confused with the old tin can, which looked exactly the same.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Aelphais
“Aelphais is like the sun, and the sun doesn't exist, it's an illusion, and if Aelphais is like the sun, then he doesn't exist, and I don't associate with people who don't exist. But I can verify it, Aelphais does indeed exist.. so what's happening here?”
~ God on Aelphais
| ||
| Term of office: | 2101 AD – 211111111011101 AD | |
| Preceded by: | Atia | |
| Succeeded by: | Mashuu | |
| Date of birth: | 1 AD | |
| Place of birth: | MSI FX5500 TD256 | |
| First Lady: | MIDI(Mobile Ion Defense Inc.) A.K.A. Princess Theradras | |
| Political party: | Empire | |
Aelphais "Pizza Platter" Mangrae is the the 1th President of the United States. He once ate stone but as science advanced, he learned that this was not too healthy, he now spends all of his free time eating computer graphics cards and RAM.
Aelphais has many nicknames, including but not limited to: Ael, Pha, Is. Aelphais once laughed. When elected president, decided to steal a quote from Oscar Wilde, but has since returned it in full. The quote was "This is the guy that invented the modern tin can. Not to be confused with the old tin can, which looked exactly the same.". Rumors were such that he didn't really steal the quote, simply borrowed it for an extended period of time with out the intention of returning it.
Other than Presidentrics, he also was a brilliant inventor. One of his faulty creations, George-Dubyah, had run wild and threatened to end all humanity with his nose. He loves to spend his workdays underground, always creating new and useful things. Despite his many inventions, he was always modest about them.
“Inventing is just a past time for me, I mean, how hard is it to come up with something new?”
~ Aelphais on inventing old things.
Aelphais purchased Mashuu at the price of one penny. Many believe that his death the was eventually brought about by this mysterious Mashuu character. However, Aelphais claimed after his death that Mashuu was not the cause, but rather a large flock of Garden Gnomes. He was a ingenious inventor - he is credited with creating the first monotone human being, who, unfortunately transferred some of its brain neurons to Aelphais.
Contrary to popular belief, Aelphais is not Jesus Christ, or any form of him, but rather something much larger.
During his last days (which no one knew they were his last days at the time) Aelphais began to study necromancy and warlockism, after his death on Friday the 13th of October 131313131313, at the time 6:66, his body disappeared from it's coffin, to this day no one other than Mashuu knows where it is. Many believe him to have faked his death, and it was only a setup in so that he could get out of office, He now is Mashuu's Vice-Prisident, but secretly rules the contury.
[edit] Famous Quotes
“This is the guy that invented the modern tin can. Not to be confused with the old tin can, which looked exactly the same.”
~ Aelphais on stolen quotes
“This is the guy that invented the modern tin can. Not to be confused with the old tin can, which looked exactly the same.”
~ Aelphais on Redudancy
“Wow, that's a spicy meat ball... Miss tell.”
~ Aelphais on Unknown
“I'll fear you.”
~ Aelphais on Your Face
“The rise of my nation is greater than yours.”
~ Aelphais on Nationalism
“Two plus two... hmm... give me a minute... oh, duh.. five.”
~ Aelphais on adding
“I just can't believe it's not butter.”
~ Aelphais on apples
“Oscar, you're like the sun, and the sun doesn't exist, so, therefore, you don't exist.”
~ Aelphais on Oscar Wilde
[edit] Trivia
- Aelphais only ate stone for 300 years.
- Don't call him "AM". He hates that.
- He has seen more years then life has seen.
- Jud Buckner is not his brother.
- Aelphais cannot spell. Aelphais is horrible at any type of English.
