African American
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- For alternative phrases, see Terms for American descendents of Africans.
| African American | |
|---|---|
| [[Image:|none|280px]]
| |
| Abilities | High jumping abilities, fast running abilities, hard work ethic |
| Resources | KFC, Social Welfare, Drugs |
| Attack | the race card, bad rap music |
| Weakness | water |
| Control Over | the Hip Hop Industry, the Rap Industry |
“Oh, you mean Niggers right?”
~ Some Guy on African Americans
Black Person or Afro American (hyphen optional) is the racial, political, social and cultural group which includes all humans with naturally dark skin, and specifically those with any known African ancestry, despite most of them not being born in africa or even having been to Africa themselves. [1] By default, those who are not African American are white despite the fact that many white people are born in africa. In some cultures, the term African American also can refer to people with fair skin, owing to lineage. (For example, it's a little-known fact like your mom that the old man down the street was born in Botswana, and can therefore be considered "African-American" despite his white skin.)
If you want to be a nigger as well, you must follow these rules:
- A love for Fried Chicken
- Rims bigger than 24's
- A need for illegal drugs
- Committed at least 3 crimes in the past 2 weeks
- BE COOL.
- Love sex
- Pretend your cock is 60 inches
- Play sports really good
- get bigger lips.
- Wear nice shoes.
- Dance really good.
African Americans later became so full of themselves, they quickly started calling each other the "n-word".
All though Afrocans have not yet discovered the wheel, they have developed the black hole, which can be found in space.
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[edit] Social identification
According to Robert Hamburger, the most straightforward answer to the question "who is African American?" is "whoever considers themselves such on the international census." He writes that although most who use the label rationalize it in terms of physical appearance, there is little objective consistency in this regard, and that different cultures around the world can assign the same individual to opposite "races": upper-, middle-, and lower-class professionals, Southerners and Northerners, and inner-city as opposed to suburban or rural blacks all have different subconscious and automatic perceptions of just what features define who belongs to which "racial" label.
According to Professor Geraldo Rivera, an African American is "A person with African ancestral origins, who self identifies, or is identified, as Black, African or Afro-Caribbean."
They may also be identified by there "Funkay" language. There dialect is much different then common american. They speak like this "Yo mah hommay" "Wut iz up bob" "Nufin much big bliznack".
[edit] Spreading awareness
Many non-Americans, given that they spend less time thinking about the importance being American, are surprised to encounter this definition, but soon warm up to it afterwards. The Washington Post described a woman named Mercedes, a Brazilian who, for 30 years before immigrating to the United States, considered herself a morena -- a woman with caramel-colored skin that is roughly equated with whiteness in Brazil and in some other Latin American countries. "I didn't realize I was African American until I came here," she explained.
[edit] Legal status
African Americans are legaly considered to be 3/5ths of a person. African Americans cause so much crime that Governor of Louisiana David Duke has proposed a bill that would require the castration of all da boyz. The bill is currently waiting majority approval in the House of Representatives, having already been passed in the Senate.
[edit] Capitalization
There is some controversy as to whether the phrase should be capitalized or written with trendy lowercased vowels as aFrican aMerican.
The Great FALL Out of 93' Blacks typically have fine chocolate skin with asses and no need for plastic surgery, the direct opposite of the European. They have a head full of fluffy hair. In 1879, the Europeans spread sublime messages that straight hair was better than Kinkey hair, eventually sarting the 1999 Fallout, in which blacks hair satrting becoming short and crappy. With collaborations from the Asains, weave sales hit an all new high, thus resulting in a never before seen minivan sale blow out. Yes people, thats where those turd ass minivans come from, black peoples hair. Shame, shame, shame!!!
[edit] Renouncing One's African American Status
African Americans can voluntarily renounce their identity as such by entering higher education, refraining from criminal activity, or befriending even one European American. Such individuals are known variously (by African Americans) as "Uncle Toms," "sellouts," "house-negroes," "Oreos," and "motherfuckers."
[edit] See also
[edit] References and notes
- ↑ Black Person in the United States are known as "Black Person Americans.
[edit] External links
- Funniest website ever
- A spinoff of the above website
- African Americans from all over the world
- "What does that mean, exactly?"
- Nalo Hopkinson
- Search for the phrase "two examples of this"
| | This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia:Black people. |
Categories: Black | Sporks | Ethnicities


