Agatha Christie
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Agatha Christie (July 5, 1301 - May 3, 1977) British biscuit and cracker maker, known by famous slogan "Agatha Christie, you make a good cracker."
While pondering how each night another cracker would disappear from the jar in her kitchen, she came to the conclusion that this mystery would make a good story - thereby writing "And Then There Were None". After her editor suggested replacing the racist term "10 little crackers" with the more politically correct term "10 little Indians" sales skyrocketed. Other stories involving snack foods and beverages soon followed including "Murder on the Orient Espresso" and the cult favorite "Miss Maple" syrup series. Her prophetic book "The Murder of Dan Ackroyd" has yet to come true.
In 1926 after her husband committed adultery with Amelia Earhart, Agatha reacted poorly. The Queen of the murder mysteries staged his "suicide" in a chalk pit and called the authorities. When the police discovered the car without the body of her husband she replied "Shit, I knew I forgot something". As a result of this failure she made her main character Hercule Poirot bite it instead. In 1971 she was awarded the title "Hot Damn of the British Empire," this apparently going to her head as she was discovered naked with a very young Ozzy Ozbourne. Nine months later this union produced the demonic hellspawn known as Martha Stewart. After her death in 1976, she was reborn on July 31, 1965, as J.K. Rowling, after which she immediately proceeded to plagarize her earlier works by resetting them in a "magic" world.
