Aguilera or her

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“If you have an apple in one hand, but an orange in the other, whilst the system can be described by a state vector in a Hilbert space, the action of a measurement forces the state to collapse into a pure state of either - that is the Aguilera or her problem”

~ Einstein on adding confusion to the problem

One of the most fundamental problems in modern physics—the official name for the question "Would you rather do X or Christina Aguilera?" In its initial form the standard comparison was Britney, however it has now been recognised that this was all a huge and terrible mistake, and a new standard has been adopted.

1 Harvard
2 Common Variants
3 Illegal Variant
4 Planck Constant
5 Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle
6 See Also
7 Link

[edit] Harvard

This question now appears on the standard Harvard entry examination, in the form:

"So, which one would you do, if you could only pick one? Eh? Eh? Aguilera or ?"

The well known linguistic humorist, Oscar Wilde is known to have said "Oh baby, that's it, harder, harder, lick round the edge" in Ms Aguilera's company, though this is not considered a valid answer by Harvard's admissions board.

[edit] Common Variants

Some notable, commonly used examples are:

 + Aguilera or Avril Lavigne (the Standard Form)
 + Aguilera or Britney Spears (the Standard UnForm)
 + Aguilera or Helen Mirren 
 + Aguilera or a Warath
 + Aguilera or Rachel Weisz
 + Aguilera or Stephen Hawking
 + Aguilera or Bea Arthur
 + Aguilera or a Flayer
 + Aguilera or a bunny with a tank turret mounted on its back

[edit] Illegal Variant

“Give me some of that illegal variant stuff baby...oh yeah”

~ Oscar Wilde

The variant "Would you rather do with , or with ?", where and are young pop starlets, and and are hideous physical deformities is properly known as the "Ugly-Hairier Aguilera or her question", and is illegal in 36 states and in France, where everyone ignores it anyway.

[edit] Planck Constant

The ratio "Answers For Aguilera/Answers Against Aguilera" is a universal constant, known as the Planck Constant for obvious reasons. This is terrible news for mankind because as Christina Aguilera becomes less young pert and starletty, everyone else will become comparably less attractive. This lack of hotness will eventually cause a state of complete apathy, known as the Heat Death of the universe. Some scientists have theorised that the Planck Constant is changing slowly over time, in a way related to the curvature of Aguilera. Unless this rate of change is exactly equal to Aguilera's loss of hotness, other people will become progressively more attractive, and make everyone around them more horny. Eventually, no one will be able to resist anyone else, and we will all collapse into a small mass of writhing bodies. This is known as the Big Bang theory.

[edit] Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

Note that the decision for one of the two given alternatives is not mandatory when following the Uncertainty Principle as proposed by Heisenberg, which states that as long as you do not look while you are doing her, it does not matter who it actually is, as it can be Aguilera or any other woman at the same time.