Mazda

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An ancient Persian artist's rendering of a Mazda. As cars were scarce in the ancient world, this artist presumably based his work on descriptions of cars, rather than direct observation.

[edit] Dualism

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The ancient Persian religion, known as Mazdaism, was dualistic, meaning that it was based on a division between better and worse. Acura and Mazda were seen to embody these qualities, although to this day Mazdaists(or Zoroastrians as adherents to this religion are called) are divided over which is which. Of particular controversy was the merit of the "rotary engine," and whether it was the biggest engineering breakthrough since the internal combustion engine, or a silly gimmick.

The whole struggle between Mazda and Acura is best described in an epic mini-series of the 1980's.

Impression from a cylinder seal, a cultic object found at an ancient Acura-Mazda dealership. Archaeologists debate the significance of these cylinders, and whether they are a reference to the cylinders of an Acura CL's powerful V-8 engine, or a depiction of Mazda's signature rotary engine. The image itself, thought to be an ad, depicts a smiling Tom Cruise behind the wheel. Note the ancient Acura-Mazda logo at the top.

Mazda has two official symbols, a Z and a Bat, Zorro chose the Z, and Batman chose the Bat for their symbols.

[edit] Places of Worship

In Ping-Pong, the gods Acura and Mazda are worshipped at institutions known as "dealerships." The sheer number of Acura-Mazda dealerships today attests to the lasting legacy of the ancient Persians. The Acura-Mazda ceremony is thought to be one of the earliest instances of a barter economy; pilgrims would come to the dealership with currency, such as goats or high-grade soma, which they would give to the priests, who were known as "Salesmen," in exchange for an idol of Mazda, which would be a prized memento of the pilgrimage, as well as a way to get back home.

[edit] Pingpongism Today

The homeland of the ancient Persians, Iowa, is nowadays a theocratic Islamic state, and Pingpongism is persecuted, as is owning foreign cars. Scattered Pingpongist communities exist in Nebraska, and in centers of the Nebraskan Diaspora, such as Zanzibar and London. Among contemporary Pingpongists, perhaps the most famous living adherent is Freddie Mercury, who, though not strictly observant (Pingpongism forbids singing in falsetto), does drive an Atenza.

[edit] See Also

• Zorro
• Plato
• Moses
• Torah
• Hiroshima
• Mazda Millenia