Aiden
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“O, my luve's like a red, red Aiden.”
~ Robert Burns on Aiden
| Aiden | |||
|---|---|---|---|
 | |||
| Aiden are HOT! | |||
| Origins | The depths of Hell. | ||
| Years Active | 2003—the end of time | ||
| Genre(s) | Alternative rock Emo Pop punk Boy band Screamo | ||
| Labels | Vic-Tory Records(2003-present) Skellington Records | ||
| Members | WiL Francis Angel Ibarra Nick Wiggins Jack Wambold Jake Davison | ||
Aiden are a post-hardcore/alternative rock/punk/emo/former Christian boy band from the depths of Hell formed in 2003 under the suspected influence of marijuana signed to the record label Vic-tory Records since they are too hardcore for any major labels. Their current lineup includes WiL Francis(lead vocals and sex appeal), Angel Ibarra(guitarist),Nick Wiggins(Bass),Jack Wambold(guitar) and Jake Davison(drums and extra baggage).
Despite the fact that they do actually rock, Aiden were fabricated by King Jack Skellington IV of the notorious Emo Dynasty after he assigned the current lead singer,WiL Francis, to come up with emoist propaganda after being dazzled by his work alongside Leni Riefenstahl in the production of Nazi propaganda in its finest. Skellington made WiL an offer he could not refuse and thus Aiden was formed.
Currently they have sold plenty of albums and had plenty more illegally downloaded by Aiden fans unable to obtain, let alone find a copy, of any one of their albums in music stores due to the sad fact their albums aren't yet in circulation worldwide.
Contents |
[edit] Biography
After being bribed with a HUUUUUUUGEEEEEEE sum of money from Jack Skellington IV to design a form of propaganda WiL Francis went home to his local pub and recruited a bunch of locals to play in his new band by promising them all the booze they could drink and hundreds of hot ladies. Amused by the idea, the blokes went along with Francis's plan and booked out a garage to write up some emoist political messages to some really catchy tunes. After they had made up some tunes they needed a name, so they decided it was time to get high whilst watching the American adaptation of The Ring. Eventually deciding to use the name of a boy in the movie named 'Aidan', Aiden were ready to strut their stuff on the big stage. Their original style of music was that of a Christian boy band but after critics accused them of lip syncing and their lyrics were described as unfaithful, they decided to change their style to hardcore punk often referred to simply as punk, emo or music. Their actual style of music has become a heated debating subject and has been featured in debates all around the globe with some of the best debaters arguing over whether it is punk or goth or emo or simply just alternative rock. The topic is now being reviewed by politicians and debaters everywhere. There is even a book being written by Oscar Wilde, a self-proclaimed fan, titled What is Aiden?
[edit] Scandals
Whilst Aiden manage to maintain a relatively low profile they are undeniably big in taking part in some of the world's most notorious scandals.
[edit] Aiden and the Pope
Aiden have been rumoured to have spent a considerable amount of time with Pope John Paul II, performing live gigs in the Vatican and eating dinner with him. When interviewed regarding this, both parties denied any connections but several of the band members were wearing T-Shirts with "I HEART THE POPE" written on them and carrying crosses which they denied yet again by producing inverted crosses when asked. "We did not have dinner with the pope!" answered a defiant Francis as they were boarding the plane at Italian airports and were interviewed by a chubby South African reporter holding two boxes full of pizza.
[edit] Connections With Satan
Many Christian groups have condemned Aiden's songs for containing Satanic messages when played backwards. The band denied any such claims, dismissing them as the product of overactive imaginations. But when played in reverse the song 'Die Romantic' sounds like 'It's time for blood' and 'we need your soul'. These supposed Satanic messages caused an outcry, even Pope John Paul II was shocked despite him being one of Aiden's most loyal fans. During an interview WiL stated that the band were not promoting such but his statement was proved hypocritical when he was caught wearing an inverted cross on a poster in an issue of Kerrang alternative music magazine and was seen to have an inverted pentagram tattooed on his chest.
[edit] Shooting Incident
James O'Barr, author of The Crow, wanted Aiden to promote his work by having WiL dress as the title character in one of his music videos by wearing black make up in the style of the character. Of course Aiden abused this deal by trying to convince random people that Brandon Lee was still alive and that he really was The Crow and not hust some actor. Things did not go well when someone shot Francis to see whether or not he was invincible like The Crow and he ended up in hospital after getting a bullet up the ass.
[edit] Fan Following
While much of Aiden's fan following has been attributed to the sexiness of its lead: WiL Francis, it still receives a large following from emos and emoists alike along with the odd goth here and there. Aiden fans are notorious for behaving as though they are in a zombie-like state, huffing kittens, taking drugs,eating babies and singing polka. Psychologists are at a loss to explain these peculiarities associated with Aiden's fans and are even resorting to coming up with explanations just as stupid as ADHD. A majority of Aiden fans are also shown to shop at places such as Hot Topic and the Milkbar.
Recent statistics from the latest Census also show that 89% of Aiden fans are either obese or overweight from trying to look like the band members Angel Ibarra and or Nick Wiggins.
Other statistics show that Aiden fans were twice as likely to take drugs in an attempt to be like lead vocalist WiL Francis. 45% had even tattooed pentagrams on to their chests emulating that of Francis.
Public urination is also not uncommon amongst fans of Aiden after a scene kid was spotted urinating on a park bench after getting pissed whilst listening to Aiden on his iPod. The kid was reprimanded in custody later that day after he was caught trying to sell drugs to small children.
[edit] Mass Suicide Incident
It was reported that a group of approximately 500 teenagers congregated at a skate park influenced by drugs and Aiden lyrics and were involved in a mass suicide. Members of the group were watched by onlookers as they as choked themselves to death by swallowing rubber ducks and consuming dangerous amounts of weed killer. A granny was interviewed and described the scene as horrific. Parents of the children involved are still trying to get over their losses.
[edit] Discography
[edit] Albums
- Our Gang's Dark Lies.
- Nightmare Propaganda
- Rain in the USSR
- Aiden Greatest Hits
- Communism (2007)
[edit] Singles
- Die Loyal
- Set Capitalists on Fire
- We Serve Forever
- Oompa Loompa Song
- One Leader
- Moment
