Al Jazeera
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Al Jazeera, also known as TNT (Terrorist News Television) -- aka BOOM!, is the first news organization in the Arab world that is not simply a 24/7 broadcast of an imam screaming verses from the Koran while pounding nails into cinder blocks with his forehead. Formerly know as All That Jazeera, Al Jazeera was founded in 1995, the company is owned by the state of Qatar. The organization is overseen by two commissioners, currently Louis Farrakhan and the Scorpion King.
Al Jazeera is also known as Albert Jazeera.
[edit] News Organization
Al Jazeera's primary obstacle to its newsgathering mission in the 90s was that journalism in much of the Arab world is punishable by death, as set forth by Sharia law. In spite of that difficulty, Al Jazeera's crack staff of reporters, newscasters, bomb technicians, sewage disposal artisans and breath-mint dispensers have done nothing short of bring about an Arab Rennaisance, where informed discussion and personal hygiene have reached Elyssian heights.
Al Jazeera's communications holdings include:
1. Al Jazeera TV, a satellite channel brodcast to millions of caves and homes throughout the Arab world.
2. Al Jazeera Radio, a news and information channel with station IDs every three minutes to reassure the populace that "martyrs" will receive 72 virgins after they complete their suicide mission.
3. Al Jazeera Forum, semi-monthly public speeches and discussions by eminent Arab scholars, politicians or others plotting attacks against America.
4. Al Jazeera Camel-Vision, camel-side placards advertising the sale of everthing from woman to build-it-yourself bomb kits to Obama '08 campaign apperal. Al Jazeera has considered halting its Camel-Vision program after its multi-million dollar campaign to promote the use of deodorant was higly unsuccessful.
5. Aljazeera.com, The offical Al Jazeera website. All articles are Al Qaeida approved to ensure accuracy.
6. Dr. Achmed, a program where Arab men grouse about dealing with their multiple wives, family members, and their collective inability to make the VCR stop flashing.
7. Aljazeera Terrorist Threatcast, a community TV section with news about recent terrorist threats and ransom demands. Aljazeera denies that they give terrorists a bigger public voice than they should - because let's face it - it's community TV after all.
8. Al Jazeera Times, a newspaper dedicated to undremining U.S. security and promoting Jihad. The Al Jazeera Times has won the Nobel Peace Prize eleven years in a row and is highly respected by journalists across the globe. The Al Jazeera Times is published in the U.S. under the name The New York Times.
9. Al Jazeerapedia, an online encyclopedia that has articles honoring many beloved suicide bombers.
10. Jihad 4 Kidz, a monthly magazine popular among Arab children. The magazine recently sponsored the Most Violent Way to Kill George Bush Cover Contest. The winning drawing will appear on the cover of next monthes magazine.
