Alderaan
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“What Dantooine? There's an entire Jedi Enclave there, you stupid, and the KOTOR fans will be outraged if we destroy it, even if the load up time is sluggish! I said Earth!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Alderaan
“Ummmm... it was around here somewhere?”
~ Wedge Antilles on trying to find Alderaan
“Done Blown Up!”
~ David Hobbs on Alderaan's Destruction
Alderaan is the name of a cloud of space dust, formerly a clone of Earth created by George Lucas and destroyed in 1977 AD (0 BBY).
Lucas intended Alderaan to serve as a decoy in case some evil maniac bent on conquering the galaxy decides to destroy Earth. Indeed, when the Empire announced its Star Wars program, a counter-rocket defense program against the Soviet Union, Earth was planned to be their primary military target. Initially, Princess Leia (a shining star and deadly warrior, nicknamed Death Star), the leader of the invasion on Earth, wanted to destroy Dantooine, but the rest of the Imperial military was against that idea, since they were all secretly writing illegal KOTOR fanfics and were afraid that their predictions of Revan living happily ever after with Bastila Shan on Dantooine for 4,000 years (describing their relationships with great detail) would contradict reality.
As Dantooine was unanimously declared an unsuitable target, Leia and her father launched an attack against Earth. Unfortunately, they mistook Alderaan for Earth, as the two planets looked almost identical - which was exactly what Lucas intended. Since nobody really cared about Alderaan, nobody believed the Empire was evil.
When Earth was once again placed in jeopardy during George W. Bush's War on Terra campaign, Lucas created yet another clone of Earth, called Naboo. However, by doing so, he accidentally spawned one of the galaxy's most sinister evils - Emperor Palpatine Jar Jar Binks. Whether Lucas' attempts to save Earth will succeed is yet to be seen.
| Planets |
|---|
| Confirmed (Solar System): Freddy Mercury / Mercury | Venus | Luton | Earth/Lyons/iEarth/World | Disney World | Planet Hollywood | Mars | Planet Google | Globe | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus / Youranus | Neptune | Magrathea | Pluto (planet) |
| Confirmed (Exosolar): An T'ark-Ti'kah | Uncyclopedia | Discworld |
| Dwarf planets: Ceres | Pluto | 2003 UB313 | |
| Unconfirmed: Garnox | Mantoobia | Unicron | Boob |
| Denied by CIA: Urth | Irk | Krypton | Michigan |
| In a galaxy far, far away: |
| Members of the Federation: Vulcan | Earth | Qo'noS | xxEarth Cxx |
| Loner Planets: Planet A | Planet AAA! | Wisconsin |
