Allosaurus
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Allosaurus was a large, communist, three fingered carnivore from the late Jurassic which dominated the time with ruthless dictatorship as top predator. Allosaurus is Greek gibberish for different lizard which suggests the dinosaur may have been a social outcast and a loser, perhaps performing Emo practices. Distinguishing features are obviously not known as this dinosaur probably became extinct because of an overdose of ecstasy at a gay night in Texas. However, it is believed to have to been 4 metres tall, 40 metres long and have two red, horny crests most likely to display a sexy illusion to other Allosaurs.
It's Intelligence was lower than other dinosaurs of the time, causing scientists to speculate that the individual they were studying may have been retarded, having a prominent mental illness.
“The Allosaurus seems to have a brain the size of half a peanut.”
~ Bill Nye the Science Guy on Allosauruses
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[edit] Diet
An average Allosaur's diet would usually consist of giant, obese, long necked dinosaurs(known as Sauropods). Scientists have come across several bones which suggest and convince, that Allosaurus led a slacker life as a slob, rather than the energetic body builder of a hunter. these bones look suspiciously like chicken bones, scarred with heat marks, which probably means it was deep fried and accompanied by chips and coke.
“Allosaurs were always robing my resturants! They would come in, go to the counter like they were going to order, than jump over the counter and take all of the fried chicken they could. then they would run out eating my chicken. They were savages.”
~ Colonel Harland Sanders on Allosuaruses
[edit] Behaviour
Allosaurus bones show that females were larger and more fearsome than males, so their social classes were probably bitch-dominated, with one leading the entire pack. Males had little purpose in the pack and were only useful for sexual reasons. the posture of Allosaurus, and all dinosaurs in general, has been debated heavily and constant disagreement shrouds everything. However recently, it has been found that the scientists who were debating over the issue lost track, and found themselves debating over the extremely controversial subject of the best milkshake flavour. After the ignorant, childish behaviour had been settled (eventually finding vanilla to be the victor) the debate finally returned to the original topic. Unfortunately, due to the failure to cooperate and the stubborn, anti-social and arrogant behaviour of debating council, there is still no accepted theory. Oh, and recent research into the leg muscles and condition of the brain case and teeth of Allosaurus has shown that Allosaurs were definitely party animals. yeah definately your mom
[edit] In Popular Culture
Allosaurus is reasonably famous but is often mistaken as Tyrannosaurus by Stupid Smart-Ass children, drugged-up movie directors and ignorant journalists.
The Dinosaur appears in numerous television shows and is portrayed badly in every one of them. In most films, such as '20 000 years BC', '10 000 years BC', 'two weeks BC', '3 minutes BC', 'Valley of Gwangi' and 'Planet of Dinosaurs' Allosaurus is shown harassing women, supporting the popular rumour that Allosaurs were sexual predators.
“I was observing the feeding habats of a Velociraptor from afar when a lonley Allosaurus male snuck up behind me and started feeling my breasts and makeing odd grunting noises.”
~ Sarah Harding, Jurassic Park
“I was at the market purchasing tampons when somthing started groping my ass. I turned around to find the culprate as a horny Allosuarus.”
~ Tiffany Broudstand, New York Times
It's Amazing how ignorant the general public are when it comes to the massive scaly birds, and simply treat the subject as a kid's fairytale, compared the fascist scientists who work all their life on the skin colour of a triceratops only to realise at the age of 57 that they'll never actually find out, thus committing suicide off Mussolini's balcony.
--Samclam23 15:56, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
[edit] See Also
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