Allusion

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This is an article about something. I wish we could remember what it was, but we're too drunk to be blunt. We only drink for social reasons, definitely not because they make me feel goofy. Once I saw this man and he said...

[edit] Harrison Ford

Hello, I'm Harrison Solo, sure I can take you to Alderaan. My ship, K-19: The Widowmaker, can take you there faster than any other ship in the quadrant. Hell, she made The Temple of Doom run in Six Days, Seven Nights. I'm The Fugitive, accused of a Hollywood Homicide, and in Clear and Present Danger. I should be Presumed Innocent, but my Working Girl brought me to the Apocalypse, Now. Division Air Force One is after me for More American Graffiti. Did you ever meet the Frisco Kid? He was Witness to my Heroes on Hanover Street, a suburb of The Mosquito Coast. Regarding my co-pilot Henry, He's one of the Devil's Own and saw What Lies Beneath, but it was just a bunch of Random Hearts, including my old squeeze Sabrina. We both used to be Blade Runners Can you take this weather? It's like a Dead Heat on a Merry Go Round or The Conversation with a Firewall. All in all, it's making me pretty Frantic. God I hate Neil Flynn, even though he caught The Intruders and helped me with Getting Straight.

[edit] Parrots

Lechuck never had a parrot. Cool pirates need parrots, but not ghost pirates, who only need monkeys or lava caverns. Now drink some grog, Fancypants.

[edit] My name is Earl

My name is Earl, I'm going to repent for mildly bad things I did, contrasting the morals of my society. I keep a list. I was better in different movies.

[edit] Barca

Dear Bent-Nosed Romans, We would really like to go home. We swear we aren't cowards.

P.S. Sicily smells funny.

[edit] Corm

At this point, this son of a bitch tried to peck my eye out. He quickly apologized saying, "Sorry, I thought you was corm." He continued:

[edit] Magic

Magic is an important aspect of life for non-muggles. Always remember to say wand and not wang. Swish and flick, students, swish and flick!

[edit] Meat

Meat is important to eat, because we will kill you if you don't tip us well. Remember, the first rule of Project Mayhem is don't talk about Project Mayhem or we will cut off your balls.

[edit] Dresden

I was at Dresden when it was bombed. So it goes. I had to spend some time in a prison camp. I'm an optometrist now. My friend Kid Sampson got chopped up by a showboating pilot. So it goes. We tried to use ice-9 on Jerry, but it only ended up killing Bokonon. So it goes. I was happy to spend time in jail for Nixon. I wasn't doing anything better, anyway. I met a bag lady, I had loved her once. Before she became smelly. So it goes.

[edit] Chickens

Is it so hard to cook a nice game hen, Lois? I tell you, if you weren't so freakin' good in bed, I'd kill ya. Come on Quagmire, let's go to the Pilots' Bar, I got kicked out of all the others. Did I ever tell you about the time that chicken gave me a bad coupon. Jeez dad, the Pope says I'm a pretty good father, why don't you love me?

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