Almer "Scarface" Frappachino
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[edit] Antecedents
[edit] Career
Almer, or "Scarface", as he was commonly known to his friends (both of them), began his career as a mafia gangster with Al Capone's crew during the prohibition era in Chicago. Not wanting to concentrate on fitting only one stereotype, he also worked very hard on being fat.
He ate copious quantities of lasagna. He ate it for almost every meal, changing only for the occasional cannoli, spaghetti or veal parmagiana. He held a Guinness World Record for most lasagna consumed in a lifetime, until that record was surpassed by President Garfield in 1945 after pasta rationing ended with the end of World War II.
[edit] Unusual events
"Scarface" still holds one record, however, being the only person in history with a date of death that precedes his date of birth. While driving some alcohol over the border from Canadia he drove through a wormhole which deposited him in medieval England. He spent some months adapting to his new lifestyle before opening the first Italian restaurant in London. He retired to Wales but quickly changed his mind when he found out about the sex-with-lambs requirement for citizenship. He then moved to Newcastle where he died surrounded by his friends (both of them, who had also been caught in the wormhole and had worked as his waiters in the restaurant).
[edit] Quotes
"Be vewwy, vewwy quiet."
"Alright, now who da fuck stole my goddamn cigaws ?" I sweah I'm gonna whack dat goddamn muddafukkin' wabbit !"
