American Joke
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This is an article about American Joke. American Jokes are jokes which are not made in America. Yet, these jokes can be made in America, but apart from America, they can also be made in Chineese sweat shops and imported into America. American Jokes are simply abbreviated as "AJ", which, obviously, comes from its original name American Joke.
[edit] The origin of the American Joke
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes were utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
== Usage of the American Joke == (Again Modified)
Here are some practical daily examples of American Joke:
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too." "You three." "You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
6. Pok gai; ngor hai yea sau; ngor yiu bok yeh.
7. Q: "Why do dogs piss with only two legs raised?"
A: "Because when they piss with four legs raised, they turn over."
8. BJ, "I have a panda which eats shoots and leaves."
John, "What? My panda's better; it eats, shoots and leaves!"
9. John, "BJ's leg is hurt. Do you know that?"
Aaron, "Yes. He hurt his leg when he was practising soft ball." John, "To be accurate, he hurt his leg when he was taking a bus to the sports centre. The bus trembled. His legs also trembled. Then he twisted his leg." Aaron, "Oh God! Doesn't he resemble Owen's way of hurting himself?" ...... (10 Grade AJ. Glasses broken. Don't try this.)
10. Martian Wa: "The Earth is very dangerous... I better go back to Mars."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
[edit] Symptoms of hearing an American Joke
They are several symptoms which one should have when he/ she unfortunately is poisoned by an American Joke. The destruction level of American Jokes can be divided into 10 grades. These grades are known as follows:
GRADE General Description
-----------------------------------
1 A joke.
2 A cold joke.
3 A very cold joke.
4 A very very cold joke.
5 A very very very cold joke.
6 A joke which creates total dead air.
7 A joke which creates 200% total dead air.
8 A joke which creates 300% total dead air.
9 Molecules no longer move. Temperature falls to 0 K.
10 Unknown, nobody has ever survived telling a level 10 AJ.
The degree of destruction directly indicates how serious one can be hurt by the joke. So what are the symptoms when one is unfortunately exposed to a really bad American Joke?
GRADE 1--3: You find yourself not able to speak a word. Not because you have become a dumb, but you just don't want to speak. Your mind is under control. You find responding to such a joke wasting energy.
GRADE 4--5: Apart from not being able to create a sound, you're also motivated by your body uncontrollably to do something else whatever so that you can be distracted from that terrible joke. The most terrible point is that you never know what you are going to do when you hear the joke and you might even save yourself from the joke by jumping off the building.
GRADE 6--8: The above grades usually trigger protective measures instead of aggressive measures. However when you hear a joke which is of Grade 6--8, one will feel his heart jumping more quickly. This is due to the release of the hormone "noradrenaline". Such a hormone is responsible for the "fight or flight" response. In this case, it is used to get your body ready to give the one who produced the AJ a punch. You can find yourself hardly suppress your desire of violence. You just want to kick his ass. There is a high risk that one may suffer from a heart attack due to the terrible joke he made, which creates more stress to the heart.
GRADE 9--10: Such level of American jokes have their sound waves emitted in a much higher frequency than mankind can process. One's ear can only process sound waves which are in the frequency range of 20---20000 Hz. A typical devastating American Joke are emitted as sound waves with 100000 -- 200000 Hz. Although they are not received by human ears, these sound waves are capable of breaking windows and glasses on the other hand, and any other rather brittle substances. Even convalent, metallic bonds and ionic bonds can be broken. So we should be really very careful in handling those who can create American Jokes of Grade 9--10. Never ever try to read such jokes aloud.
[edit] How do I warn someone when he/ she makes an American Joke?
When you are dealing with those who are capable of creating American Jokes, you have to let him know the truth. He himself has to be aware of the fact that he could create American Jokes which are capable of damaging covalent, metallic and ionic bonds.
But of course we should not discriminate against them or else they are going to create more and more high grade American Jokes in order to catch other's attentions. Make sure you tell them, "Sorry but it's so AJ." to let him know that he has just produced another AJ.
[Newly added WARNING] Since the usage of American Jokes has been so widespread, now we advise people to kick the asses of those who produce too many AJs. To kick their asses, we mean to find out their asses to exert a force onto them by raising your own legs. But it does not have to be your OWN legs; it can also be someone else legs. One frequent question is that where do we find more than one asses to kick on one person? In fact, the whole of such person is the nothing more than an ass. It makes sense to say that every part of such person is an ass; therefore he has more than one asses, and any of them can be kicked.
Go and learn more about "ass" to kick an ass accurately. We all have to be together to fight against AJs.
It depends on our cooperation to eliminate American Jokes in society.
