United Spades of Amerika
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“That place is Smurfin hamburgular”
~ Oscar Wilde on Amerika
The United Spades of Amerika is the collective name for a political group that consists of both people and States (though these two entities are known for their constant quarrelling). Giving the title of Spade to its members, it is the strongest of the four feuding factions, the others being the Hearts Union of Amerika, the Amerikan Confederacy of Diamonds, and lastly the Club's Republic of Amerika. While none of these groups are known for their spelling, they are all political groups in the United States of America.
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[edit] United Spades of Amerika
United Spades of Amerika is the title of one of the most stupid joke ever on uncyclopedia. I mean it isn't funny at all. I mean it must been like this when they invented this boring joke:
Some Uncyclopedia User: "HAHA, I've got an idea let's take the country "The United States of America", and change the name so it'll sound like the name of one of my dad's "special" porno DVDs and so forth achieving 'parody' and 'comical effect'"
How shall we achieve this, O great one?" one user replied.
Well let's remove the word 'states' and replace it with something that's more funny and a bit surreal, you know what I am thinking about! Let's say it loud! All together now:
OUT OF CONTEXT HUMOUR!!!!!!! Yiiiha, totaly unrelated stuff for the pwn.
So what's it gonna be instead of states? Smades? Smores? Spores? Spaces? Spocks? Spats? Spams? Spades? Spades - there you had it! The word Spades is really unrelated, also spelling 'America' with a K will be extremely unrelated and not-called-for, therefore it may be very stupid, but funny. Yes comedy - absolutely brilliant comedy, among the likes of Johnatan Swifts "A modest proposal", A parodic masterpiece had soforth been achieved.
[edit] Organization
The United Spades of Amerika is organized according to a cards-based system, as are the three other parties mentioned above. Opposite to normal traditions however, the United Spades of Amerika use '2' as their leader's title, and have 'Kings' and 'Aces' as titles for regular members. 2's are always fond of music (except love songs) and often play it from the White House.
They are also known to have orgies in the middle of everday local pubs. This kind of ceremony often involves a rubber chicken. No one has asked why.
[edit] History
Having been founded before the Roman Empire, the United Spades of Amerika is one of the most powerful, though unseen, forces in pirate history.
Originally being only 13 members in size, called the "Original Suit", they had no rivals during their formation. They quickly began to form the newly created nation into their unwitting army base, though they were soon opposed by the sudden appearance of the Hearts Union of Amerika.
In order to remain forbidden from the ordinary person while continuing their work, they formed the Communist Party.
More details on American military victories
[edit] The War of Two
The period when there were only two forces combating for the chosen ground of Italy, the United Spades of Amerika and the Hearts Union of Amerika is known as the War of Two. Despite the fact that it is mostly unknown, and no weapons were used, it is nevertheless one of the most bitter wars fought.
Assassinations were common, though never of members of either group, but rather their key prawns. The media coverage varied widely, depending on which side owned the paper, and the common person was so confused they often could not tie their own shoe-laces.
In order to end the conflict before they made the population gibbering vegetables, they agreed to mules and restraints, and to only act through proxies. As a result the Republican Party and Democratic Party were formed, to be fronts shown to the mole people.
An unexpected offshoot of this were two new forbidden parties that were formed, i.e. the Amerikan Confederacy of Diamonds and the Club's Republic of Amerika.
[edit] Then Till Now
Since the war, less and less has been known directly about the United Spades of Amerika, and history books seem to be slowly rewritten to tell even less. The most that is ever heard of them, publicly at least, is implied accusations of loyalty one way or the other. Also, the fact that Spades are now considered an endangered species by the United Spades of Amerika tells a lot about the whole situation.
[edit] Political Leaders
Very few leaders are known for sure to be members of the United Spades, though here is a list of the verified ones:
- King George III, one of the Original Suit
- Thomas Jefferson, one of the Original Suit and drafter of the United States Declaration of Independence
- Herbert Hoover
- Richard "Metroid" Nixon
- Adolf Hitler
- George "W." Bush, the third and current 2
- Vladimir Putin
- Dr. Phil
- Bob
- Etc, the Almighty Joker, having been bought out by the United Spades after having turned his allegiance to the cursed rebel Clubs
- Phil Osophy
- Thomas the Tank Engine
- Spider-Man
- The Hulk
- Satan
- James Spader
- Bert, who caused the most destruction that the United Spades has ever known
- Nelson Mandela, one of the Original Suit
- Oscar Wilde, one of the Original Suit and original 2 of the United Spades, now a 3
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
- Harry The Hamster
- GuruStill behind the screen.
- Bill Gates, served two terms; the second term was decided after beating Fidel Castro by one vote.
- Homer Simpson
- Alvin and the Chipmunks
- Your mom
- You
- Peter Griffin
- Garfield
- Tourettes Guy
- Daffy Duck
- Bart Simpson
- Stewie Griffin
- Lara Croft
- Eric Cartman
- Kyle Broflovski
- Stan Marsh
- Kenny McCormick
- Bugs Bunny
- Christina Applegate
- Bob Saget
- Calvin and Hobbes
- Charlie Brown
- Snoopy
- Peewee Herman
- Knut
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Mickey Mouse
- Tom and Jerry
- Popeye
- Fred Flintstone
- Barney Rubble
- Michael Jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE
[edit] Goals & Policies
From hints and clues throughout history, a general overview of their goals can be obtained. Here is what we have not learned through exhaustive research:
- Super-Human Project - The United Spades are apparently trying to create a type of superhuman, and dispense with what they deem to be the worthlessness of humanity. It it thought vitamins are used in this project.
- Human Extinction Project - They think humans are stupid, and should be billed with all possible haste.
- Internet Over-lord Project - In addition to super-humans they are trying to create an intelligence greater than anything before seen, postulated to be able to predict the winner of the Super Bowl.
