PCP
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| FNORD! This article is too close to the TRUTH! Citizens should begin to feel uneasy now, otherwise report for therapy. See more about Fnord. |
“I swear to you Officer, that stuff ain't mine.”
~ Oscar Wilde on PCP
WHITE people.
Contents |
[edit] History of PCP
The Greeks extracted PCP from the stems of the hemlock plant, using a combination of semen and Clorox bleach.
The resulting fluid was refined into either phencyclidine or anal lube, with which the Greeks are also credited. (external link)
It is said that the Greek philosopher Socrates died from a massive hemorrhage during a "philosophical gathering" aka (butt orgy) with his "colleagues".
PCP was used as a medical anesthetic in the early 1950's but its medical use was discontinued when disturbing side effects were noticed among patients. It was eventually used as animal tranquillizer, but even its use on animals was halted after researchers decided to use it on a female Kodiak grizzly bear, and were subsequently mauled by an extremely angry, extremely high, 1500 lb bear.
Today, PCP is consumed recreationally in a few isolated areas, mainly in the United States. It can be used in liquid form, but it is more commonly sprayed onto leaves and smoked. The Vatican, however, has named PCP the official illegal drug of the Pope, and over 3 kg of it is consumed there every week.
[edit] Effects of PCP
Users of PCP may feel happiness and glee with similar effects to periods. Actually they feel extreme sadness and utter contempt for life. Also, when taking pcp, the user might see Jay Leno everywhere. Actually probably not. No thats a lie. After taking 10mg of PCP, the user then will become a black person.
In addition to its anesthetic properties, PCP is also a powerful hallucinogen, and users can go absolutely batshit insane from taking it.
Another notable side effect of taking PCP is the immediate need felt by the user to shed their clothing and to instigate combat with all vehicles in the immediate vicinity. For a visual example of this phenomena see any day time 'Police-Camera' type show, where the following rule can be applied; lack of clothing plus hatred of motorized automobiles equates to the offender having a wicked time on Maggy T (see Code Names Below).
[edit] Code Names
- the wild rhino
- Estelle Getty
- loosey moose
- Wayne Brady
- not pcp
- rocket fuel
- ozone
- Ashy Larry
- Space Base (only if crack cocaine is added)
- pig killer
- Dave Chappelle
- puffy
- purple rain
- Margaret Thatcher
- Boat
- Dippa
- Water
- Toe Tag
- This shit will fuck you up... man
[edit] Conclusion
PCP is an extremely fun and liberating drug. In other words, use it, because it'll really fuck you up, and if you're lucky, you could get sent to Federal, pound-em-in-the-ass prison.
