Angels and Airwaves
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“In Soviet Russia, Angels and Airwaves Listen to no one.”
~ Russian Reversal on Angels and Airwaves
Angels and Airwaves are a classical band formed in Adelaide, Australia. Angels and Airwaves has four members, Tom Tehloner, David Kidney (who is now suffering from IHearTooMuchFromTomDelonge disease), Matt Wanker, and Atom Willtard. strangely enough after the beginning of the writing proses of the groups first cd, Tom Tehloner begin to think he was an airplane. He now tries to fly at every concert
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[edit] The Adventure
Their first single is called "Curious George". The video clip is about Tom Delonge and Clay Aiken's sexual relationship. They show how much they loved each other before Tom Delonge started to love David Kennedy. Then everything went horribly wrong. But at the end, they all joined the Navy Force and died.
[edit] Blink-182 Break up
Tom Delonge is a former member of classical sensation "Blink-182". Tom Delonge decided to break up with Blink-182 because they were already making tolerable music. Tom Delonge recently said on MTV "The decision to break up with Blink was obviously a great choice, because I never wanted to clean the semen off my goat's anus". Tom Delonge once ate a whole cookie infront of former members Travis Barker (drums) and Mark Hoppus (vocals, bass) and lasted 2 seconds before he got bashed. This because Blink-182 had a fund raiser called "Save the cookies!"
[edit] The Band Name
This band actually got its name after the lead singer got an STD from his then girlfriend Angel. He did not know that she had any problems. He later learned that she was a he. His name was Angle and he had Crabatitis-C. The airwaves part came from using a blow dryer in waves to stop the itching.
[edit] Assassination Attempts
Many attempts have been made on Tom Delonge's life. All have been stopped by his force field. It is composed of many things like broken dreams and other fragments of the emo lifestyle. The most recent assassination attempt on Tom was made by Mark Hoppus. Mark paid off a unicorn to gore Tom. Unfortunately, Tom did not survive the attack, but was brought back to life by Brandon Flowers who does not look a thing like Jesus but talks like enough of a gentleman to have brought Tom back to life.
Assassination Attempt 2
On March 15, 2008, the infamous Angel (Tommy) was shot 6 times point blank to the head with an airsoft gun. Tommy was then brought back to life by Holly, the mysterious girl who was oftened mentioned in Blink 1-8-2's last album.
[edit] Album #2
Tom Delonge officially announced that the band had created a brand new superdooper album which he named "mom". In a press confrence with satan and chuck norris Delonge stated the album was deticated to his dog. It features 6 brand new songs. They all last over 10 minutes however most of the time is spend with tom delonge plucking the same string over and over again until that evolves into one word from the great vocalist.
1. It still hurts 2. The Adventure with chuck norris 3. Do It For Me on Saturday. 4. Rite of Summer 5. Call of Legs 6. Star of David (Kennedy) in england a 20 minute bonus track was added. it is called "Bonus Track". the song is 19 minutes of tom delonge whispering the words "Tom Delonge" the last minute is what is believed to be Quacking Noises sung thought a beer bottle with a hole in it.
[edit] I-Am-Pirate
In 2008, Tom DeLonge, by himself wrote a 3rd album for Angels and Airwaves called I-Am-Pirate. The album featured such tracks as Breathe, were Tom DeLonge breathed in and out for exactly 4 minutes then yawned. The song was nominated for many awards, but didn't win any because in reality the song sucked. Another hit song was A Song About Me, where Tom sang "my life was hard before I was 16 as I had to go to school everyday and it was harder than yours and my dad and I made a living by sucking dicks". Other songs included a 40 minute bonus track were Tom whispered "I like this song", even though the sound was called Yell.
[edit] Origin of The Album Name: I-Am-Pirate
Three days after the I-Am-Pirate album was released, Tom DeLonge (now known as Tom DeLoner) revealed that the origin of his third album is from his inner most darkest secret, yes it is gay bum sex with pirates. At an earlier press conference they revealed it was first going to be named I-Am-Butt-Pirate, but Tom and the other members agreed that that was giving away too much. He is quoted saying "You have so much to look foward to... the sex is great". He said he had many fantasies about having gay bum sex with pirates on the stage, on the streets, right now and even in Mark Hoppus' garage. He then realized that he is gay and hung himself. Luckily for the pirates, he was brought back by his lover, Captain Jack Sparrow.
[edit] Future of Angel.. Tom DeLonge
In the future, DeLonge says he is going to change his name to "Dong DeLoner" because it sounds better. Matt, Atom and David all agree, and says it does, actually, sound cooler, and agree. Tom believes that one day he will grow wings out of his ass, as well, so when he his bombarded with trash at his concerts, he can in his words, "Fly to the heavens shouting I'm better than you"
