Anne Frank
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anne frank was a snitch. she didnt write that book and the only one to beleve here was a woman name ms.mcdonald
“I was going to be Frank, but I'll stick to being Earnest”
~ Oscar Wilde on Teenagers
“Wow, this is awkward..”
~ Adolf Hitler on Anne Frank
“12 pages of sheer brilliance...45 of amateurish drivel.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Anne Franks Diary
“Did you hear something?”
~ Anne Frank on the Holocaust
“Did you hear something?”
~ Nazi Soldier on Anne Frank
“I'm Going To Fuck You Like Adolf Hitler Fucked Anne Frank In World War Two.”
~ Stereotypical Black Guy on Black Guy Threats
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[edit] Breaking News
Anne Cestor Frank was a child prodigy and mathematical genius whose major works were only discovered many years after her very early death. They have been used make a mockery of Palestinian and Egyptian mathematicians of the latter 20th century by showing that all their discoveries were actually more eloquently documented by the whimsical antics in the diary of a Jewish female child. Anne Frank was born in 1929 to Heinz and Greda Frank, both of whom were powerful Jewish money lenders and Zionist conspirators in Germany at the time.[1] After desperately attempting but failing to see acceptable income from Anne's fame, her parents urged Anne, like all famous Jewish people at the time, to seek a career in slapstick comedy or a Cabaret. Upon fervent refusal and continued rising stardom for her mathematical works despite no financial gains for the parents, The Franks quickly grew tired of the 'overbearing attention' and sought isolationism by hiding in an attic of a Catholic couple who lived down the street on the condition that the rent would be free.
[edit] Concentration and Creativity Camps
The German Government, under direction of Future Visionary Adolf Hitler, however, desired Anne so much that they went on a nation-wide search and finally found her in 1944 and invited her to one of the National Socialist's elite 'Concentration Camp' where she would have achieved greatness if she hadn't died in an Allied bombing of the camp a month after arriving. The German government was so ashamed of its blunder that it intentionally omitted recording the death of Ms. Frank. Later on, this bit of information was used by people of Western Society to claim that the German 'Concentation Camps' or 'Think Tanks' were all a farce to begin with. Others more accurately cite that the brutal carpet bombings by the harsh Allied Forces vaporized half a century worth of thinking that was achieved in only a few short years.
As a result of this malicious destruction of knowledge perpetrated by the anti-septic allied forces who sought to destroy the concentration camps out of their own desire for global intellectual dominance, little survives of this mathematician who achieved what some call comparable Gauss, Euler, Cantor, or even Galois, who also died young, but in a duel over a girl with whom he was in love with. Despite this, a few months after the Allied Powers had destroyed the World's next Greek Civilation, Diary of Anne Frank, a text written while in hiding, was haphazardly discovered and survives as a testament to her true genius. In it she outlines a public-key cryptanalysis system, an (as of yet unconfirmed) proof that NP = P for complexity of problems, and a proof to Goldbach's conjecture among many other things that have yet to be fully comprehended.
[edit] Gematria++
Although the text contains greatness, it is encoded in a standard known as Gematria++. Based on the solid mathematical framework of Gematria, wherein Hebrew words have bijection correspondences with numbers, Ms. Frank's own inception of Gematria++ contains bijections between not only numbers but also mathematical symbols including those of set theory, topology, combinatronics, and number theory.
As a result, this seminal work at first glance appears to be nothing but a young girl's musings about her restrictive parents and the German government trying to find her. There were few allusions to the secrecy that lay just below the surface of her intricate weavings. However, before being post-humously published, her parents, wanting to avoid the limelight once again, abridged the text cutting out the mathematical work and only publishing the thought to be unimportant work which, given the popularity of the Anne at the time, still sold extremely well much to the joy of her parents who then used the money to start a propaganda campaign for a Jewish homeland.
[edit] Search For The Original Work
Most scholars however, correctly noted that there was something amiss in the text as it was completely void of numbers or mathematical notation but contained some oddly worded and broken prose that seemed to have been carefully authored yet still sounded somewhat awkward. Also everyone stood puzzled by Ms. Frank's last entry after a brief and confusing passage about her love for carrot cake:
“I have a truly marvelous proof of this proposition which this margin is too narrow to contain.”
~ Anne Frank on Diary of Anne Frank
A worldwide search for an original copy began in the early 1950s. It wasn't until many years later that when cleaning out an unclaimed deposit box in the Basel annex of the Bank of Switzerland in 2002, that a banker found the complete and unabridged "Anne Frank Diary and Treatise into Complex Mathematics" complete with an instruction manual on how to cryptanalyze the diary entries. The copy currently resides in the Louvre in Paris where archeologists and mathematicians are very closely analyzing Ms. Frank's carefully written first entry, "If you want to get Rosetta Stoned" for the keys to unlock the mysteries of the Universe.
[edit] Dead??
While most reports maintain that Frank died in a bombing, modern historians have presented evidence that she may not be dead yet. Notably, said historians point to the fact that Anne Frank remained undetected for two years, (I personally took two hours to find her house WITH A MAP). This number is usually then multiplied by the number of people hiding in the secret annex (7), divided by the number of the number of letters in her full name (18) and multiplied by a jillion to suggest that Frank could have been in hiding since the Allies cruel bombing. Some historians believe she's hiding in South America with all the friendly Germans.
[edit] Notes
[1] Heinz Frank went to New York City before he became a stereotype: he invented the escalator, which he called a "macy". This device, which was intended to catch people's clothing in between the staircase and the floor, was to be sold to clothing stores. Eventually he produced several "macys" and built a store around it, named, of course, "Macy's". Unfortunately, Heinz also invented a stereotypewriter, which made him a stereotype: a hooked-nose Jewish moneylender with horns.
[edit] Anne Frank's Brickfilm Career
In 1945, after Anne Frank was liberated from Butlin's Concentration Camp in Bognor Regis she signed up for a seven year contrect with Brickfilms, a 'B' movie studio famous for being governed entirely by Lego people.
In March 1946 Anne Frank went under the lights to star in the studio's $18.97 epic comedy (obviously titled) Anne Frank In Bricks.
[edit] Whereabouts of Anne Frank
The last of anne frank was in Charlotte, New Jersey around 1997 or 1999....i think so can u wait and lemme remember the last time i saw her....oh yeah! right around christmas 1999 in chicago, Illinois. She was reading books to children around christmas eve. That day i was getting a coffee with chocolate sprinkles...mmm..mmm..mmmmmmmm..YUMMY!!!
| Preceded by: Lady Louise Windsor | Line of Succession to the British Throne | Succeeded by: Peter Phillips
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