Anorexia

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This article is about the (non-)eating-related habit. For Bulimia's easternmost province, see the Republic of Bulimia.

Anorexia is now a celebrity trend.

“Anorexia- It's not just for gymnasts anymore!”

~ Movie from health class on Anorexia

“What! People not eating to stay skinny!”

~ Ethiopian on Anorexia

The anorexia (aka Nicole Richie Syndrome) consists of the delicate art of preparing, cooking and serving air. Those who practice anorexia are called "anorexicans."Contrary to popular belief anorexia is not actually funny, except in September.

Anorexia started out of necessity, during the great ant starvation of 1818. However, with the passing of time, anorexia became more and more fashionable. Anorexia is also considered the courteous alternative to bulimia, which is much more messy.

During a brief period (2000 BC to 2601 AD), anorexia was compulsory. In spite of ruthless suppression, secretive cults, working deep underground, kept alive the disgusting habit of ingesting food. Though they were forbidden to consume food, or food-like devices, they forced themselves to go through the ritual of eating ramen noodle, a gypsum-based mineral aggregate found only on Earth. Fortunately, this loophole was closed by the Inquisition, who made forks and knives illegal, thus preventing people from eating. Since then, no one has eaten.

Some researchers believe that anorexic boys go anorexic because they have very small penises. In Reverse Polish notation, this doesn't mean that no people are never not eating. Since sometimes there's no clear proof of that, food has been reduced to a mathematical concept and should not be taught in schools without clear warning labels on the textbooks (see "Intelligent Design"). It is also possible that people in distress believe that they are eating due to the complicated way that the brain works.

1 Causes, and Cures, of Anorexia
2 The Bottom Line
3 Twin Studies
4 See Also

[edit] Causes, and Cures, of Anorexia

Anorexia has become extremely popular all over the world.

Anorexia is not a choice, it is a lifestyle. This isn't something you so much want to cure, but rather something you should cherish and embrace. You are one of the beautiful people, you are chosen! Stay strong with your choice of diet; you have to be all that you can in this. There is no going back, you have to have the testicular fortitude to just say NO to food. Do you hear that, fatty? No means no. If I catch you eating anything aside from fat free bits of pre-chewed gum, so help me God I will break out the wire hangers on you! You hear me? LOOK GOOD, DAMN YOU!

Oh, be quiet. Eating disorders run in my track and field club, and they aren't very good at it. You don't eat, you do eat, it doesn't matter in the long run because Anorexia isn't very fast and they always make complaints about their shoe laces being untied.

Anarexia is a horrible disease that is spreading across America, it originated from Ethiopia,

[edit] The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that if you feel hungry then eat something. Nice and greasy is preferable, like a triple cheese burger, a large fries and a coke you stupid fucked up cunt it feels good on an empty stomach and it takes a lot more than that to pack on the pounds so don't stop there bitch get into chicken, bacon and T-bones you'll be surprised how nice they taste and how well they hit the spot compared to a half a crouton and a droplet of water your used to. If you follow the teachings of this text you will live to see your next birthday, sleep a lot easier and in no pain compared to before and hey you may even gain enough weight on that skeletal body of yours to get laid you ignorant little shit.

That was a test. You didn't eat anything, right? If you did the wire hangers will hurt you. Plus that cute boy that sits in front of you during math will call you obese when you aren't around. Trust me.

[edit] Twin Studies

Dozens of in depth studies of twins who had been separated at birth have revealed that, even when genetics are identical, anorexia makes people more attractive. One notorious study, linking anorexia to love, is entitled 'the skinny bitch switcharoo project.' In the study, researchers secretly replaced a married woman with her "unanorexic" (see fat) twin. Despite reporting increased cushin' for his pushin,' the husband described a steady decrease love. His anorexic wife, interestingly, had an affair with one of the social scientists involved in the study. Sex was observed and reported to be very good to excellent. The husband filed for divorce.