Antidishestablishmentarianism

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“ Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the Antidishestablishmentarianist”

~ Oscar Wilde on Antidishestablishmentarianism

Antidishestablishmentarianism is the opposition to flat-shaped dinner plates.

Contra-Antidishestablishmentarianism is the opposite of the above.

[edit] Overview

Dishes are handed out to hungry, unemployed men. Shortly after this photo was taken, the dishes were charred in a fire, then smashed into little bits.

In its original form, antidishestablishmentarianism was a short-lived movement in human history, occurring only during the 3rd week of October in 1969, in the midst of the great depression. It was a period of time when people frequently ate out of tin cans, bowls, or paper-mache gourds made from worthless stock certificates. The use of a plate, or "dish", was considered a sign of wealth. A wave of rage and violence during that deadly week spread, as antidishestablismentarianistic forces collected dishes from far and wide, and burned them in massive public fires. Then they smashed the dishes into little pieces, as most dishes stand up quite well to fire. Those which could not be smashed were bent, and after bending, bent backwards repeatedly until the material forming each unrelenting dish lost its tensile strength. At this point, each dish could be more or less ripped, and maybe a bang or two with a hammer would separate it. After being separated, the process was generally repeated until each dish was merely shards of material. The material was then examined for "dishness", and if any such property remained, it was burned again, smashed, and then fed to a gorilla.

[edit] The Dish vs. Plate Controversy

By Thursday of that week, there had begun to be a large debate amongst the antidishestablismentarial forces as to the difference between a plate and a dish. Some hard liners felt that dishes and plates were exactly the same thing, whereas the more academic members often felt that plates should be spared, as dishes were their true foe. In a speech to a throng of hungry poor people who didn't really care what he had to say, Phillip Engers, a student at Colgate University of Dentistry, famously proclaimed, "A plate be a plate from time to time, but a dish be a villain of mine!" His call for peace towards plates was widely considered the beginning of the very-short-lived proplatestablishmentarianism movement.

The word is broken into multiple parts, and from them we can determine its meaning,

ant-I-dish-est-a-blish-men-tarianism: An ant in the action of steling the dish that is (est) a bitch to men in whatever a tarianism is.

[edit] Recent history

More recently, antidishestablishmentarianism has come to refer to the efforts of the cable television industry to destroy the satellite television industry. While many of these antidishestablishmentarian efforts consist of simple marketing schemes, some desperate local cable companies have fired lasers and trebuchets at individual satellite dishes in an effort to destroy them.