Antonio Tejero

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Antonio Tejero Molina is the current President of The Spanish Government.

[edit] Early Career

Tejero never started off as a statesman, he however joined a rather brutal group of bullies known as La Guardia Civil. He enjoyed his time there and was eventually granted the rank of Lieutenant Colonel in 1978. Tired of the weak and pathetic Spanish democracy that had swept the nation after the death of former dictator General Franco, Tejero began to plot to take Spain back from the fucking communist pigs and liberal twats.

[edit] The Golpe

Along with other leading members of La Guardia Civil, Tejero plotted to bring down the government and to place a military junta in charge to direct Spain back to the Franco days of family, country and religion. So on 23rd February 1981, Tejero alongside 200 armed Guardia Civil officers stormed into the Cortes and took control. Tejero climbed the stairs and began to shout and bark orders from his pedestal. As the government officials went down to the floor, Tejero shot into the air and called for the king of Spain, Juan Carlos to enter the building and to review the constitution.

With no reply from the king, Tejero began to kill the government officials and ordered the cameramen to keep filming. As the officials fell to the floor bloodstained, Tejero began his most famous speech ever..."Quieto todo el mundo". Juan Carlos eventually showed up and was shot dead by La Guardia Civil agents in the process. Later that evening, Tejero made a speech that was broadcast to the whole nation. He changed the Spanish Constitution of 1978 and told the world "Ha Llegado España!" meaning Spain has arrived.

[edit] Presidency

Antonio Tejero rules Spain as an iron fisted military dictator. He is often referred to nowadays by his nickname that he developed with his cult of personality, El Tejerazo. Some of Tejero's laws have included the banning of all forms of contraception and abortion. He remains a devout Catholic and follows in the footsteps of Franco. He also demands that every male member of Spanish society keeps a moustache, but none can be thicker than his. This offence is punishable by execution by either of the following... hanging, beaheading, electricution, garrotte, firing squad etc...

Although seen as a dictator by foreigners, the Spanish people seem to see Tejero as a saviour, who saved the country from disgrace and chaos. One teenage boy stated back in 1981 when Tejero first took over, "I like the New Franco better than the old one...He has a cooler moustache."

[edit] Trivia

Did you know that...

• Tejero told George Bush that his mum was good in bed

• Tejero shook hands with Robert Mugabe, only to shot him with the classic line "Mi Cago en el negro"

• Tejero stuck his middle finger up at The Queen of England for bringing up Gibraltar in their afternoon tea session

• Tejero famously joked "Hitler told his soldier, I am going to fucking kill™ all of the Jews and a dog and the soldier replied Why the dog? You see, no one really gives a shit about the jews."