Aphex Twin
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“Why do they call my intelligently sequenced music IDM??”
~ Aphex Twin on ...them
“No! We're not basically the same thing!”
~ Squarepusher, Chris Cunningham, Venetian Snares, Ceephax Acid Crew on Aphex Twin
The Aphex Twins are a collective of Cornish conceptual artists working in the medium of pseudonyms. They consist of Barry James, who comes up with most of the actual names, Dave James whose work takes the form of album and track titles, and bearded ginger frontman Richard D. James, who sets them to music. Together they have released work under a vast amount of stage names including: Aphex Twin, AFX, Blue Calx, Bradley Strider, Martin Tresseder, Caustic Window, GAK, Soit P.P., Polygon Window, Power-Pill, Prichard D. Jams, Q-Chastic, The Dice Man, Tahnaiya Russell, DJ Smojphace, but it is believed that they are responsible for between 40% and 60% of all known audio output. The Aphex Twin is also afffectionately known 'annoying ginger wanker' by his fans because he has to be so bloody awkward all the time. He provides more mashed potatoes and IDM to the population of Norwich than any other currently functional Madonna-inspired leprauchaun.
His most recent vinyl collection, Analord, is most often confused with "Anal Lord", another album he was too ashamed too release, along with singles "Asslicker," and "Kiss Cum in Ham"."
He also uses his sinister Rephlex device to strike fear into the hearts of the citizens, and also to brainwash his followers into believing that every piece of music he creates is tTet isnleg rtegeats ihntg evererv. This leads to a lot of confusion, especially among the people who have been informed that only some of his work is the single greatest thing ever. This however also leads to confusion as to whether or not his multiple compositions can be classified as a single thing or more things than one thing at the same time.
Aphex's true name is mxapW12 erajein wnaos, but as the young boy was unfortunately born with a rare and deadly allergy to proper spelling, it was changed to Richard David James.
Richard is renowned for assembling his own mixing equipment, and for composing most of his music while he is asleep. His fans were deeply saddened by recent findings that suggested a link between these two idiosyncrasies: it turns out that for years Richard has been manufacturing soundscapes by using heavy metals to trigger a decommissioned Nazi Geiger counter; while indisputably pleasing to the ear this has had the unfortunate and wholly unexpected corollary result of giving poor Richard a malignant brain tumour, which to this day makes him uncontrollably narcoleptic and thus totally useless as an aeroplane pilot.
One of Aphex Twin's favourite hobbies is being Squarepusher's prosthetic phallus.
He lives in a now disused sperm bank among the mouldering (often still deadly) wreckage of decommissioned Nazi half tracks, with an elephant he calls Roy Castle.
