Apocalypse, Take A Look At Me Now!!!
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“You know, the money I made on this movie is really closer to my heart than the money I made on any of the Godfather sequels.”
- ~ Francis Ford Coppola on Apocalypse Now Redux
Apocalypse, Take A Look At Me Now! is the director's cut edition of Francis Ford Coppola's Vietnam War film Apocalypse Now. It is also referred to as the "Redux" version, presumably because "redux" rhymes with "sucks." Key features include:
- A boring scene on a French sweatshop
- Naked Playboy™ Playmates
- A boogie board
- Marlon Brando
Contents |
[edit] Synopsis
Captain Willard is a well-adjusted assassin living in luxury in Asia and listening to the Doors when suddenly he says, "I wish I could take a long weird journey into the middle of nowhere and kill some fat airborne commando guy for no reason." Sure enough, two soldiers show up and offer him just that, but not before some delicous shrimp and steak with Harrison Ford.
After that, our awesome hero grabs his gun and heads up the river to do battle with Marlon Brando and his pygmies. Col. Kilgore, a courageous surf warrior, turns a small village of happy children into shish kebab so that they can hit some cool peaks like they had down Malibu way.
| With this scene, I was trying to show how Vietnam and surfing go hand in hand in the same Jungian way as Julia Roberts and Soylent Green. |
The trip up north is also frought with hurricanes, LSD, repossessed helicopters, heart attacks, no money, and no clue. That is until we reach Brando, at which point a cow is turned into hamburger by some hungry natives with knives so that Jack in the Box ™ can properly introduce its frachise to the Southeast Asian market.
[edit] Dane Cook's reaction
| “ | You know the part where that Willard guy when he comes out of the water at the end? [Slowly comes up from imaginary water on stage.] He takes a knife and cuts up the Godfather guy? BAM! BAM! BAM! "Take that, you offer-making bitch!" BAM! BAM! [Falls over on stage.] Man, you don't mess with that. Ever notice that? | ” |
[edit] Marlon Brando's reaction
| Look, I wasn't that fat. And I'm not in the airborne. Besides, at this point in my life, I'm dead. |
[edit] George W Bush's reaction
| We must stay the course. |
[edit] See also
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