Archaeologist

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Archaeologists are people cloned from the DNA of George Lucas. Their objective is the recovery of ancient stuff from dusty cellars and caves in order to put them in dusty museums that are only open on weekdays ending in a T and on the 5th day of the epistle. Archaeologists, like geologists, tend to be drunken fools who live by the rule "a fool and his money are soon partying".

Archaeologists believe that the world was created by a machine called Herbert, who somehow managed to fool Jesus into thinking that it was actually god. (its amazing what a few beers can do)

1 Origin
2 Archaeologists vs. Anthropologists
3 Controversy
4 What to do if you see an Archaeologist
5 Famous archaeologists

[edit] Origin

The term archaeologist is derived from an atheist artefact called the Arch of the Covenant. It was then stolen by their arch-enemy the Catholics who then called it the Ark of the Covenant. The Catholics hid the Ark in a pyramid protected by snakes (improving on their one snake in a tree trick.) And it melts Nazis.

Archaeologists believe that huffing the snake is a euphemism for the practice of fellatio or of school. No one is quite sure as it comes from a time-traveler from the future who went back in time to the distant past.

Their patron saint is Indiana Jones.

[edit] Archaeologists vs. Anthropologists

Archaeologists and Anthropologists are long time bitter rivals, fighting many bloody wars, including the 7 Year Itch War.

[edit] Controversy

Their work requires them to demolish ancient buildings, break open old doors and disturb local communities. Therefore, they have many natural enemies, such as fundamentalists who aim to preserve fundaments. Generally, archaeologists are considered to be boys (and some girls) who didn't grow up and keep fantasising about mummies, emporers and dinosaurs.

"So homies as I was sayin. I was struttin my funky stuff, when a ton of mud and stuff scattered around me! I said whadyhellthinya doin homes! An he said oh im dysleximicated acheialomagist. So I said k" ~ Oscar Wilde

[edit] What to do if you see an Archaeologist

Here is what you should do if you ever meet an archaeologist:

Complain at them saying that what they are doing is a complete waste of time and money and they should just get out of the way and let the house/office/road be built
Ask them what the best thing they have ever found is (this really narcs them)
Ask them how much they get paid (this REALLY narcs them!)
Ask them if they know Tony Robinson

If they respond to your questions the best thing to do is to take them to the pub and buy them a warm brown drink called Ale - it will generally shut them up for a while!