Archlinux
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“An archer shot me.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Arch Bashturds
“Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be Archers.”
~ Statue of Liberty on Archlinux
“ZOMG we made it to core! Teeeee...Powa!!!!!!”
~ DragonForce on Pacman
“Sharp? I loike. Yatttaaaaaatatatatatata ...”
~ Ninja on Archlinux Logo
Archlinux (renamed to Arklinux on April 1st 2007 and Arschlinux on 8002 Lirpa 1) is a Leetnux Distribution.
Contents |
[edit] Past
The Archlinux Middle Ages was ruled by the almighty Judd Vim (who used to be known as Elmer Fudd and has now been taken over by ancient King Kong Klan high priest Phrak Turd (who wrote "\alias Phrak Turd='\Argon Grifflippin-my-ass\'\" in a real notepad bought from a Chinese store near YOU)), who went to the people and said:
"y0, all those Leetnux Distributions are major suckomaticks, I will make it faster and better and strip all the documentation to show the world, that we are the leetest, and you will all follow me on the way to the land where milk and honey flow!"
A small community of Slackware and Gentoo refugees gathered around the almighty Judd to follow him to promised land. Along the way, a mighty prophet called Eugenia Loli-Queru joined their noble quest and started publishing noble FUD on her noble site to help Judd proceed. There are tales that Jesus himself went on this crusade for salvation, that later some say that this junction of holiness and geekness, is where Jews came from.
[edit] Present
The almighty Judd has succeeded in making Archlinux the only Linux distribution which has a community that combines all the bad features of the ones Slackware and Gentoo have to offer.
Archlinux is mighty fast, only runs on computers with a certain leetness factor (codenamed 686+) and features a package manager with the extremely funny name pacman, which serves as an excellent showcase as to why you should buy a faster hard disk.
Also, almost every big transition is handled very well and almost completely with every user having problems of some sort or something like that. This is what Archers define as the "ultimate experience", before they even experience sex. Not that they will, anyway.
Currently Bruce Willis and Jane Fonda are developing a new package system which will replace pacman, namely apt-get.
[edit] Future
There is no future, everything works perfect as it is, as Judd had approved this "GNAA Inc." certified software. "Get an Arch" campaigns have been planned, though.
[edit] Tips from the archlinux community
- To save time, reboot your computer in the background using "reboot &".
- Also to save time, try run "init &" to do the bootup in background.
- If something fails, it probably means you died. Say your prayers. Wait. It's too late.
- When you feel all fanboyish over Archlinux, please use "super ninpo hakematsu harakiri no myo kanon jutsu no arch powa!!!" as a function in your /root/.bashrc file. Judd needs no fan. He has 60-foot A/Cs. Phrak can lift them, yes.
[edit] Criticism
Some say that Archlinux package repositories are all full of crappy annoying bugs. They're right!
Chuck Norris claims that The Arghhhh Urine Repository (AUR) has been cause for 9,000,000 deaths due to overdose of excellent code as of 8002BCBC; he is not to blame. He's wrong!
[edit] Fun Facts
- Archlinux was made for the sole purpose of world domination.
- As it uses Linux, it will make you a communist.
- It was developed with disfunctionality in mind.
- It is what you make it. Even if you don't know what to make it.
[edit] See also
Categories: Stub | Oscar Wildeizms | Computers | Linux | Operating Systems | Unix
