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“This shit is bananas!”

~ Gwen Stefani at the big yellow joint

“I'm Oscar!!! Dot com.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Arrested Development

Arrested Development was a short-lived sitcom on Fox about a dysfunctional family involved in real estate. It was cancelled in its prime to make room for better written comedies, like Fox News. Specifically, FOX plans to replace Arrested Development with a reality show where women compete for a bachelor's hand in marriage, who is secretly a mammoth seal. Despite poor ratings and quick cancellation, it won over 9000 awards, as most critics stated that it was better than most of the baloney on television. It featured such themes as company fraud, family issues, incest, ambiguous homosexuality, loose seals, racial puppetry, and frozen banana treats. For this reason, the Catholic Church voted it 'Best Show Ever.'

[edit] Notable Characters

Nichael "Michael" Bluth
The star of the show and only sane member of the family. He had the burden of keeping the family together while maintaining a nice haircut.

George Michael "The Bluthneizer" Bluth
Michael's loser son. In a typical episode, George Michael would secretly masturbate to pictures of his cousin Maeby. Little did he know, uncle Tobias would always be hiding in the closet watching him.

George Bluth
The father of Michael and his brothers. After escaping prison, he would spend all of his time in the Bluths' attic with his stash of dead bodies, including Michael's wife.

Benson Lewis Oscar Wilde Jeffrey Oprah "BLOW JOB" Bluth
Michael's older brother and former magician/stripper. He would do magic tricks with his body, until he drove audiences away with his "rabbit trick". Afterwards he spent his afternoons with his hand up Franklin's butt.

Oedipus "Buster" Bluth
Michael's youngest brother, the pirate of the family, yet paradoxally the biggest mama's boy that ever walked the fact of the earth. Lusting after his own mother Lucille, he created a sex robot in her exact image: Lucille 2.0.

Tobias Foon-Gay
Wannabe actor and singer of the Blues. He would never, ever be naked because he was severely insecure about "Little Tobias."

Little Tobias
Tobias' penis, who had a regular speaking role on AD. He was most famous for saying what Tobias never said, thinking what Tobias never thought, and scoring when Tobias never could.

[edit] Minor Characters

Franklin Delano Bluth
Rapper puppet from da hood. He recorded a CD called "Straight Outta Orange County."

Barry Winkler
Bluth family's inept lawer and professional shark-jumper.

Bob Loblaw (pronounced: bobloblah)
Barry 's replacement and the author of Bob Loblaw's Law Blog. Was completely computer generated and voiced by Andy Circus, a crap British actor.

Bland Plant Yam Egg Hog Ann
Her?

Mr. Banana-grabber
Top financial advisor to the Bluth Company.

Cosmo Kramer
The Bluths' wacky neighbor. He would allows pop in unannounced and bother them. He made enemies with Franklin when he told him, "You stupid nigger sock-puppet. Fifty years ago we would have had you hanging upside down with a fork up your foam rubber ass!"

[edit] On the next Arrested Development...

George Michael finally works up the courage to act on his feelings for Maeby, when he realizes she is passed out on the sofa. And Buster stumbles onto George's secret in the attic, and then has an unfortunate accident. And Harry Potter kind of dies and then comes back to life and kills Voldemort. Then Dumbledore is gay.

Warning: The above text contains spoilers, but you're out of danger... for now.