Arson
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Arson is a popular sport worldwide. It is the act of lighting various objects on fire, and has recently become a rather competitive sport.
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[edit] History
Arson makes heavy use of fire, which was invented by early mankind or quite possibly the Canadians. However, it was Negro who played the first ever game of arson using the City of Rome. Reportedly, Nero played the fiddle as Rome burnt, however the fiddle was not invented at this period of time, and therefore the only logical conclusion is that arson is the direct result of some kind of Time Travel. Regardless, this was the first case of arson, and has since inspired arson to begin playing arson as fun sport!
[edit] The Sport
Eventually, the Earth Liberation Front (ELF) was set up to regulate and host professional games of arson. The most common categories in judging arson contests are:
- Creativity
- Style
- Injury
- Insurance profit
Professionals now look down on other practitioners of the art, who they say are just arson around.
[edit] Mishaps
Game Set Match, Tennis
Set Match Run, Arson
[edit] Safety
There have been some safety concerns over arson, particularly the recent increase in use of Performance Enhancing Drugs, which really makes no sense because a bulky man will have no decisive advantage over a skinny man in lighting fires. ELF resolved this by ruling people are "retarded"
[edit] Tips
- The secret to great arson (and any pastime) is practice. There are houses all over the place to practice with. A serious student will start fires every day.
- The master arsonist is never seen. They creep in, like a ninja, setting fires and disappearing into the night.
- It's considered to be poor style to burn down a home owner's insurance agency before burning their house.
- The ultimate pleasure in arson is making it seem like the house's own residents burned it down.
- Popular drink Power Thirst enhaces your skills at arson and weddings.
