Artemis Fowl

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Artemis Fowl.

“For the last time, no, I don't know him.”

~ Oscar Wilde on everyone from Ireland knowing everyone else
Did you know...
...Artemis Fowl is smarter than you?

“Lupin III has nothing on me!”

~ Artemis Fowl on Lupin III

“Up yours, 5-0!”

~ Artemis Fowl on being a good role model for children

“In Soviet Russia, Artemis Fowl is murdered by YOU!!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Artemis Fowl

“Please--not even the Russian Reversial is powerful enough to kill me!”

~ Artemis Fowl on the above quote

“Steal? puh-lease! I gave it to him as a sympathy present when that awful, annoying woman joined him on his travels earlier this year!”

~ Artemis Fowl on The Doctor "stealing" sonic technology from Artemis/Fairies

Artemis Fowl is an international criminal, wanted by Interpol, the FBI, the CIA, Scotland Yard, the KGB, the Vatican, the Illuminati, Spiderman, and all of these groups for a near-infinite verity of crimes, including money laundering, gun running, grand theft, bank robbery, drug dealing, and being a snooty jerk, though in fact, he is responsible for all crime everywhere. If you see him, call the authorities immediately. Dublin PD has tapped his phone lines, and he often talks of "fairies." This is obviously code for something, but what exactly is unclear...

4r73m!z F0w1'z 1337 h4xx0rz zk!11z m4d3 th!z m4n d0 7h!z.
4r73m!z F0w1'z 1337 h4xx0rz zk!11z m4d3 th!z m4n d0 7h!z.
some of the mysterious fairies that Artemis Fowl has seen on his adventures.
some of the mysterious fairies that Artemis Fowl has seen on his adventures.

Contents

[edit] Artemis Fowl II's Rap Sheet

NOTE: If you see any crimes in this list that aren't in the crime template, please correct the template.

in alphabetical order:

[edit] Known Associates

Artemis Fowl was responsible for getting O.J. off the hook.
Artemis Fowl was responsible for getting O.J. off the hook.

[edit] The Man (...erm, Boy) Himself: Artemis Fowl II

“I rule all!”

~ Artemis Fowl on himself

Arrtemis Fowl the Second is too snooty to refer to himself as Artemis Fowl, Jr., and often gets beaten up at school for this attitude. This, combined with the fact that he's smarter that the idiotic teachers at public school, causes him to skip out of school frequently. Getting beat up all the time could actually be what turned him to a life of crime. His father, Artemis Fowl, Sr. (obviously), a tax attorney in Dublin[2] who is surprisingly sober most of the time, considering the fact that he's Irish, believes this to be a "phase", and "Little Arty's" version of becoming an emo goth. "I'm confident he'll get over it," says Artemis Fowl, Sr., in spite of the millions upon millions of dollars that Artemis Fowl II has made in just a few years of criminal activity.

The moral of this story: crime pays, boys and girls!

[edit] Butler...Domovoi Butler

Domovoi Butler perfers to go by his last name, because "Domovoi" is just about the most ridiculous-sounding name you can think of (even more than, say, naming a boy child after a female goddess (*cough*Artemis*cough*)). Butler is the illegitimate offspring of a ninja and a clinja, and as such is one of the most deadly fighting forces in the known world. He is one of only two people on earth known to kill a grue with his bare hands, the other one being Chuck Norris. He is Artemis Fowl's body guard. Being the bodyguard of a twelve-year-old snob was boring and a waste of his talents, so he convinced Artemis to take up a life of crime. Artemis, thinking that this would be a great way to get kids to stop picking on him and pick up chicks, hastily agreed.

[edit] Juliet Butler

Butler's half-sister and black sheep of the family, Juliet crashes at Artemis' place in order to get over her kitten huffing addiction. Artemis, normally opposed to the idea of random vegabond druggies "crashing"[3] at his place, agrees to let Juliet do so because she has a kickin' bod, and he was hoping to get lucky. She later joins a troop of jello wrestlers, and is never heard from again.

[edit] Holly Short

An elf whom Artemis kidnaps and extorts for one million dollars, Holly quickly becomes friends with Artemis, due to a severe case of Stockholm syndrome. She was the first female member of LEPrecon, an elite fairy crimefighting team, and her kidnapping proved to the whole fairy community that women shouldn't be allowed to join it. Due to some fast talking, she was able to keep her job in spite of this severe fuckup, and has been Artemis's mole in the organization ever since.

[edit] Mulch Diggums

A photosensitive dwarf with kleptomania, Mulch came on the scene when he tried to steal stuff from Artemis. A big mistake, as Butler then proceeded to beat him within an inch of his life until Mulch gave the stuff back and pledged eternal loyalty to Artemis Fowl. He was then Artemis' go-to guy, stealing stuff when Artemis commissioned him to do so. But we have to pay this guy some respect. He does after all, have the most deadly weapon of all at his command - flatulence.

[edit] N°1

N°1 after he got into the catnip.
N°1 after he got into the catnip.

Somehow manages to be totally lame in spite of the fact that he's a demon, N°1 is an impressionable imp who hooks up with Artemis Fowl because otherwise, he'd have ended up in a zoo. He was recently summoned by a sorcerer.[4]

[edit] Julius "the Man" Root

Leader of LEPrecon and lawman famous for his heroic deeds. Also a bit of a plonker, he usually solves problems by pratting around and shooting stuff. He is well-known for having a red face that could light up central Hull at night, which is being considered as a possible solution to global warming. This little fact has earned him the nickname "Beetroot", or to his more intimate (i.e. sexual*ahem*Holly*ahem) friends, it has earned him the nickname "Loveapple". He was the first to advocate trying to save Holly when Artemis had kidnapped her (old rival Cudgeon wanted to "let her rot"). He went off half-cocked, and, predictably, walked right into a trap, barely escaping with his life, only to walk into another trap a few years later.

“D'Arvit!”

~ Julius Root on walking into traps

[edit] Foaly

Foaly is the technical genius and resident dork of the LEP. He creates various contraptions out of toilet rolls and string and then passes them off as legitimate inventions. Fortunately for him, Root is a complete moron so he still believes that Foaly's plungers can actually scan people's eyeballs. And he wonders why Artemis Fowl keeps managing to outwit him.

[edit] Enemies of Artemis Fowl

[edit] George W. Bush

One of George W. Bush's typical, "zany" goof-ups. Fans are not amused.
One of George W. Bush's typical, "zany" goof-ups. Fans are not amused.

Your typical "goof enemy," who's sole purpose in life is to make the hero (in the case of Artemis Fowl, "hero" is used in the loosest possible definition of the term) look good by losing to him in insanely "goofy" and "zany" ways. He's the Team Rocket to Artemis' Ash Ketchem (coincidentally, another boy who has a girl's name). Supposedly the president of the united states, he is disliked by fans of the Artemis Fowl series because a goof like him could never become president in real life...right?...

For such an unpopular character, though, he does have a lot of spin offs about him:

[edit] Cudgeon

An ex-politician who had to resign in disgrace when allegations of kitten huffing surfaced, he attempted to recover from his habit through bible smoking, with disastrous results. The bible smoke combined with traces of kitten soul, acorn magic, and his own elfin genetics to produce a supervillian-eque transformation, like the joker from batman, except totally lame. In light of said transformation, he decided that he ought to try to take over the world, or something, and so joined up with Opal Koboi and her plot, claiming that it was his all along.

When he was still one of the good guys (sic), he was the one who had the idea to set a grue loose in Artemis' house in order to kill everyone and/or scare them into releasing Holly. His opponents thought that this plan was crazy, as grues eat everything, including elves (which Holly happens to be), and the point of rescuing somebody was to "you know, not get them killed" (direct quote--Chix Verbil), but he overpowered the opposition and sent the grue in, with all of his political hopes riding on it. Unfortunately for him, this would turn out to be the very same grue that Butler killed with his bare hands.

[edit] Trouble (sic) Kelp

"Trouble" changed his name when he turned eighteen, because it used to be Wendel. He acts bad-ass, but that's just to compensate for the fact that he's nothing more than a bit player. He hates Artemis with a passion because, the day before her kidnapping, he had proposed to Holly, but after becoming Artemis's loveslave pawn girlfriend ally-with-benefits, she wants nothing to do with him. This is used by many fans/stalkers as proof that Holly is now dating Artemis.

[edit] "I'm Gonna Get Me Some" Chix Verbil

A sprite who thinks that he's a ladies' man, in spite of the fact that he has green skin and half of his bodyweight is in his ridiculous-looking wings. Is currently dating Tinkerbell, who is actually only dating him so that people won't think that she's chasing Artemis, given the dubious and clandestine nature of her relationship with the last human boy to discover the existence of fairies, Peter Pan.

[edit] Opal Koboi

A pixie with dreams of grandure, Opal tries to take over the world. Artemis feels that this is his turf, so joins up with Root and the LEP in order to stop her. She is knocked unconscious when Butler pulls a Bruce Lee on her, and stays like that for two years. When she wakes up, something in her brain chemistry has shifted, and she is in a permanent state of PMS. Performs elective brain surgery on herself, and then dies when she accidentally gets blown up by her own bombs.

Before this happens, however, she tries to exact her revenge on Artemis and Holly by dropping them into an abandoned amusement park that has been overrun with grues. Artemis and Holly quickly proceed to ingeniously build a crude flashlight out of old soviet tanks. The light succeeds in holding them back, but, like everything made in russia, the flashlight falls apart within seconds. Artemis then has to use extreme sarcasm in order to hold the monsters off. Several hours later, Holly and a parched-throated Artemis are saved somehow.

[edit] Jon Spiro

Jon Spiro is a businessman who has rubbed out competitors, manipulated the stock market, embezzles liberally, and built up a shadowy trust in the background which secretly controls a large section of American industry...so in other other words, he is a straight shooter and on the up-and-up, by American standards. Artemis takes him down by using his 1337 haxx0r skillz to frame him for many of Artemis' own illegal deeds. Spiro is now serving sixteen consecutive life-sentences without the possibility of parole, while protesters demand that he be put to death.

[edit] Ark Sool

Replaces Root after he walks into a trap (again) and doesn't walk out again, he quickly (and wisely) fires Holly for being in league with Artemis Fowl. Holly then runs to Artemis, who puts a hit out on Sool's head. He is later fired for racial slurs about demons, and, like everyone in Ireland, quickly falls into the bottle. In spite of his new non-threatening status, Artemis does not recall the hit, because he's lazy and has that kind of money to piss away.

[edit] Leon Abbot

Leon Abbot, in full makeup. His horns are hiden under the hood.
Leon Abbot, in full makeup. His horns are hiden under the hood.

The demon N'zull changed his name to this because his old name was an unflattering phallic reference in Demonic. He gains magical powers by canibalistically eating an imp, and declares himself the ruler of demons. Demons are not a very bright breed, so they fall for his lies about having a plan for destroying the evil ape overlords of the Earth.

“How are we going to kill the humans, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked. You see, what we're going to do is...erm...um...I...OHMYGODLOOK! A monkey!”

~ Leon Abbot on laying waste to humanity

[edit] Billy Kong

Billy Kong was raised in a circus, and he apparently lost an eye in a fight with a tiger (despite appearances to the contrary). Little else is known about him, except that he's a professional demon hunter, and has some sort of grudge against them for some reason. He's arrested in Taiwan for killing eurgs without a permit, and serves 20 hours of community service. In spite of rumors to the contrary, he is not related to King Kong.

As a child, he was known as "Jonah Lee", because that was the name on his fake ID.

[edit] Minerva Paradizo

Did you know...
fangirls hate Minerva?
She became a child genius in order to copy Artemis, and then captured a demon by sheer luck. She decided to keep it imprisoned on display in her prison family's garden as a conversation peice. It later realized that a bit of silver lodged in its arm that incompetent human faith healers "doctors" failed to remove had been what caused it to remain in this spacetime. It quickly removed the shard, and fell randomly thorugh spacetime until it returned to its home with a new-found hatred of human beings, renaming itself Leon Abbot. Minerva quickly realized that she hadn't of been exploiting the creature properly, and vowed to capture another one and remedy her error. She captured N°1 and unlawfully imprisoned him, because she wanted to win the Nobel Prize. Her plan was then thwarted by Artemis. While Artemis did accidentially rescue N°1 in the process, and that can be considered to be good, when he had her data on demons deleted, he also ended up deleting her research into a cure for AIDS.

[edit] Kitler

The evilest cat in the universe...
The evilest cat in the universe...

Kitler was Artemis Fowl's greatest foe ever. Kitler recruited an army of goblins and grues and waged an attack on the "Lower Elements", where the fairies live. It was up to Artemis Fowl, who rather suspiciously teams up with the fairy authorities an awful lot for a villian, to save them. Instead of using his money to hire an army of ninjas, as he could have done, Artemis decided to face Kitler himself. Many dogs and Mews were killed in the ensuing battle, and Artemis nearly lost his life, but then the Non-Huffable Kitten appeared, saving them all.

[edit] Inspector Zenigata

A police inspector working for Interpol, he, like his subterranean companion, Julius Root, made it his mission in life to capture Artemis Fowl II...or Arsène Lupin III. One or the other. Preferably both. Whether he is a very clever and crafty adversary (according to him) or an incompetent fuckup (according to Lupin) is up for grabs, but he does have the amazing ability to handcuff an opponent at a hundred paces.

“Ha-ha. Better luck next time, Pops!”

~ Artemis Fowl on Inspector Zenigata's inability to catch him

[edit] Harry Potter

Harry really hates Artemis
Harry really hates Artemis
Main Article: Harry Potter (character)

According to Artemis, Harry James Potter is a douchebag of a mediocre wizard who was lucky enough to undeservedly have seven whole books written about him, and Harry doesn't like Artemis, either. Their animossity began several years ago when Lord Voldemort, a lacky of Artemis, tried to assassinate Harry and failed--miserably! Because of his own incompetance, Voldemort died, and Harry was promoted to godlike status in the wizarding world, much to Artemis' annoyance. Artemis was willing to brush it off as a bad day, but the so-called wizzard, who for some reason was offended by the fact that Artemis had tried to kill him, kept anklebiting him.

The feud soon escalated to everything from sicking grues on one another to crank phonecalls, until war broke out. Countless millions died, including Lord Voldemort--again. Finally, Artemis ran out of Death Eaters and just sent Butler with a burlap sack to kidnap Harry Potter. After kidnapping Harry, Artemis beat him within an inch of his life, stole his wand, and broke it, thus by acquiring his mangic.

[edit] Less-Prominent Enemies of Artemis Fowl

This is where Artemis Fowl's enemies live. Well, most of them.
This is where Artemis Fowl's enemies live. Well, most of them.

[edit] Neutral Characters

[edit] Foaly

A centaur who works with the LEP and is a good friend of Holly's. When she becomes Artemis' creature, he is torn about where his loyalties lie. Gets framed for stuff by Opal Koboi for his trouble, but is later accidentially cleared when Artemis crushes her ruthlessly.

[edit] Minerva Paradizo...again

She changes her alignment in order to become a possible love interest for Artemis. What a twist! Apparently, 'evil' is a major turn-on of hers. She needs to fuck off soon before she is mercilessly beaten by fangirls of Artemis Fowl.

[edit] The Absolutely Useless Parental Units

Artemis Fowl the First (who prefers "Artemis Fowl, Sr.") and Angeline Fowl have no fucking idea what their child is doing with all of his wealth and free time. Artemis II could almost be the hero of a series of children's or young teens' novels, if he didn't also happen to be a ruthless, bloodthirsty criminal with a larger body count than Al Capone.

[edit] The Twins

Artemis had two little brothers named Jonathan and Finian, but he murdered and ate them. Worried that his parents would freak out he kidnapped two other children, and would have used fairy magic (which he stole; how?--that's just how good of a criminal he is), but as it turned out, he didn't have to, as they were idiots. His new little brothers are named Myles and Beckett.[5]

[edit] Places Frequented by Artemis Fowl

[edit] Fowl Manor

Artemis' home/evil lair, this is where Artemis lives and plots his criminal activities. It is completely impregnable, unless you happen to be a kleptomaniac dwarf who gave up has magic so that he'd be able to enter human dwellings and steal stuff. But what are the chances of one of those happening by?

[edit] The Earth's Mantle/The "Lower Elements"

Many millennia ago, stone-aged humans drove superadvanced fairies with magical powers from the face of the Earth. They were able to accomplish this because fairies make the French look like warmongers. The fairies were driven into the mantle, where they quickly burnt to cinders because those idiots forgot that it was a million degrees down there. Thanks to intervention from the Anti-Grue, however, they survived, and managed to build a civilization in a series of surprisingly temperate tunnels set up for them. However, many of these tunnels were infested with grues when no one was looking.

[edit] Paradise City

...Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! Well, for elves, goblins, trolls, grues, and god knows whatever else, that is. It is the fairies' haven from the near-molten temperatures of the Earth's Mantle, hence its nickname of "Haven." This is where Holly lives, where the headquarters of the LEP is, and where they keep the secret artifact that would create a dimensional gate between Stonehenge, Atlantis, and the Fountain of Youth under lock and key.

[edit] LEP HQ

The headquarters of the Lower Elements Police (if you didn't know that that's what LEP stands for, you're not a fan) is the place of employment for Holly, Root, Foally, and most of the rest of the characters who are dedicated to law and order, except for Zenigata. This place is located in Paradise City, which is why Opal decides to destroy the city with a thousand tons of molten iron. She uses a more conventional weapon when she attempts to murder Artemis Fowl: a tactical nuke.

[edit] Holly's Apartment

Artemis spends a lot of time there...all...night...long!!![6]

[edit] School

Ha, ha. Made you look.

[edit] The Books

Artemis Fowl, under his not-so-clever pen-name of Fartemis Owl[7], has written a series of biographies, because he thinks he's better than us. The publisher, in an attempt to disguise better the identity of the true author, changed the name to Eoin Colfer, but this attempt failed because the books are all about Artemis. Artemis later turned fifteen and reached a point of maturity where he realizes that fart jokes aren't funny (an accomplishment many men never achieve in their entire adult lives), and decides to run with Colfer, but it was way to late for the editor who first suggested it, whom Artemis had had killed in a fit of rage ofter the whole Fartemis Owl thing.

  • Book 1: How to Gain Followers through Stockholm Syndrome
    • Exactly what it sounds like.
  • Book 2: The War in the North
    • In which our (cough) "hero" teams up with the good guys to increase his "street cred," in the process defeating Cudgeon and Opal Koboi.
  • Book 3: The Code of Eternity...Eternity...Eternity...Eternity...Eternity...Eternity...Eternity...
    • Artemis, when up against the wall, uses super-advanced fairy technology (man, there are four words I never expected to say in succession!) to frame Jon Spiro for his crimes.
    • The fairies see an opportunity here, and agree to allow him to get away with this, in return for him allowing them to wipe his memory of them, thus by getting him out of their hair forever...or so they think...
  • Book 4: Opal's Back, Bitches!
    • Opal Koboi returns, and is out for revenge. Surprise!
    • Artemis regains his memories. Surprise!
    • Artemis and his brainwashed loveslave Holly defeat Opal, who is sent back to jail. Surprise!
    • Pisshead Commander Root gets blown up after walking into yet another trap, breaking his ribs for the 78th time, and then getting blown up... Surprise.
  • Book 5: Demons and Psychos and Love Interests, Oh My!
    • In which we see the introduction of new character and possible love interest (yeah the fuck right!), Minerva Paradizo. Also N°1, who is a demon, even though that is an odd choice of species for a character meant to be the comic relief and Qwan the Asian wizard.
  • Book 6: When It's Time for a Paradox
    • In which Artemis Fowl magically turns from an adventure story to a harlequin romance novel, and then back again, with a FWB policy on elves.

[edit] The Codes

on the bottom of all of the books is what appears to be a children's doodle, but is, in fact, a secret message that Artemis Fowl uses to brainwash the readers of his book. The messages are as follows:

BOOK 1: Send all of your money to Artemis Fowl. Send all of your money to Artemis Fowl. Send all of your money to Artemis Fowl...

BOOK 2: Go into the bathroom and look under the sink. Drink whatever you may find in there. It is delicious, and good for you, too. If you mix them all together, you can feel the concoction burn it's way down your throat!

BOOK 3: Marajuana does not cause your sperm count to drop. That is a lie told to you by The Man in order to "scare you straight," so toke it up, boys and girls! Speaking of things that aren't straight, I do in fact know Oscar Wilde...

BOOK 4: You will read S-Michael's fanfiction. If you don't, I will send a troll to rend your entire family limb from limb in the most frightful way possible...


Book 5: Vote for Bush. In spite of what logic and common sense may tell you, Supply-Side-Economics makes sense, and is not the most retarded thing ever! Gay marriage must be stopped! And, um, whatever else you retards will believe...no, don't write that down!...

Book 6:The text itself is a modernized, sexed-up version of Mein Kampf. Never mind that, though--there's an awesome recipe for pipe bomb souffle, and a How To Get Rich Quick guide towards the back.

[edit] Pairingz on teh Interwebz

[edit] Holly/Artemis

The fact that Holly has Stockholm syndrome makes this possible, and indeed likely, but they had better get through with it quick, before it reaches the point where the size difference between them is just too great for it to be physically likely.

[edit] Juliet/Artemis

There's no way we would know anything, even if it did happen, as they'd have to keep it secret or else Butler would kill Artemis for this.

[edit] Holly/Foaly

In Mexico, this is known as a Donkey Show.

[edit] Butler/Artemis

Not on your life, fangirls. You know who you are.

[edit] Foaly/Cabaline

I haven't mentioned Cabaline at all until now. That should tell you something. As a matter of fact, come to think of it. we never actually see Cabaline at all, do we? Foaly could be making her up, for all we know! He is an uber-nerd and part of the hax0r crowd, you know...

[edit] Artemis/Minerva

If you like, it could be said that if it was not for this pairing, then the Artemis/Holly pairing in fanfiction would have no real competition. Well, that may be just my opinion, and you can disagree with it if you like, but what really burns me in all of this, however, is that people sure can make one HELL of a big deal about it. I mean, come ON, IT'S JUST FICTION, PEOPLE!!!!!

[edit] Trivia

  • Like every other person born in Europe, Artemis Fowl hates America (thus explaining the secret message in book 5).
  • During the Human vs. Kitten War, Artemis supplied arms to the humans...but also smuggled arms to the kittens, as well.
  • Artemis Fowl didn't go through puberty until he was fifteen--everybody point and laugh!!!!!
  • People who point and laugh at Artemis Fowl for any reason tend to die mysteriously. It was nice knowing you folks.
  • Artemis Fowl once bitch-slapped Donald Trump.
  • Had a five way with Holly, Juliet, Minerva and Opal.
  • Artemis Fowl hates Harry Potter with a passion, and once kidnapped him and beat his ass.
  • For an article about a children's book series, this article sure says "fuck" a lot.
  • Dumbledore is gay!!!!!

[edit] Alter-Egos

Over the years, Artemis has tried to escape from his victim's lawyers under various pseudonyms, his most famous being "Fartemis Owl". However, this was also his least successful pseudonym as, like his victim's lawyers said, "Now that's just bloody ridiculous. I mean, come on, did you really think we wouldn't get that one?!".

[edit] Footnotes

  1. ↑ abortion and deicide don't count as murder, because in neither one are you killing real people.
  2. ↑ 115% of Americans believe that Dublin is the only city in Ireland. They are right.
  3. ↑ A word Artemis is too snooty to use.
  4. ↑ This joke is too high-brow for approximately 175% of uncyclopedia users to get. The rest just don't think it's funny.
  5. ↑ OMG! This joke is actually based on sommething!
  6. ↑ Ironically, Artemis is too young to get this joke.
  7. ↑ He may be a super-genius, but he's still a little kid, you know.
v • d • e
Terrorists and Wannabe Supreme Rulers of the World
Seductive, but lethal:
Religious leaders:
Military leaders:
Hollywood terrorists:
Eastern imports:
Miscellaneous terrorists:
9-Eleven - Artemis Fowl - Ducks - Michael Howard-Bird Flu - Avian flu - Backstreet Boys - Bill Gates - Blofeld - International Mad Scientist Convention - James Hetfield - The Al Queda Network - Tesco - Jihad★Mart - Wario the Quario - Terraists - Spork, Squirrels et al. - Kermit the Frog - Oprah - Dr. Nefarious - Irkens - Goldfinger - Zimmi - Invader Zim - French culture - French people - French language - Cyborg Zim - Irken Empire - Republican Zim - Chairman Drek - Ronald McDonald - Stewie Griffin-Steve Ballmer - Dr. Robotnik - Homsar - Skull and Bones - (The late) John O'Cahan - Skeletor - 4chan - Bowser - Koopa Kids - Jimmy Neutron - Robot pirate ghosts - Baba the Turk - Cream the Rabbit - Meg Griffin - Mewtwo - Sharkboy - Mario - Bill O'Reilly - Daleks - Hezbollah - Hawk Harrelson - Leonard Bernstein - Don Imus - Rush Limbaugh - Liberty Medical - Timmy Turner - Jack Thompson - Bubs Concession Stand - Blue Man Group - Bert Newton- Paul Bearer - Your mum - Bill Clinton - The Government - Adam Powell - Jews - Pillsbury Dough Boy - New England Patriots- Red Stripe Guy - Chris Chocola - Jerry Springer - Zebra
Three Fat terrorists:
[ v • d • e ]
☼ The Axis of Evil-Doers ☼
The Conclave of Doom: ∩, Ed Gein, Assholes,User:TheGreatLiquidFox, Al Gore, Hugo Chavez, Big Bird, Mary Rogers, George W. Bush, Mario, Benito Mussolini, Dick Cheney, Adolf Hitler the Jackoff, Shadow the Hedgehog, The Barney Bunch, Nancy Pelosi, Bert, George Washington, Bears, Organization XIII, User:Darkness..123, Ernie, Killer whales, Ł, Ronald Reagan, Oprah Winfrey, Satan, KFC, Xerxes the Gay, Wendy, The Burger King, Ronald McDonald, Jollibee and Twirlie, Enron, Grue, Elvis Presley, The Pope, Officer Jenny, Penguins, Kyle Broflovski, King Stewie of the Universe, Kermit the Frog, Margaret Thatcher, Jimbo Wales, 1337, OfficeMax, Mickey Mouse, Star Wars Kid, Oscar the grouch, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Mel Gibson
Comics Committee: Doctor Doom, Emperor Galactus of the World and Universe, Joker, Ruby Gloom, Little Dot, Lex Luthor, Megatron, Mr. Freeze, Pikachu, The Riddler, Linus and Lucy, Rob Liefeld, Cream the Rabbit, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Magneto, Venom, Dr. Robotnik, Optimus Prime, Jimmy Neutron
Space Committee: Chairman Drek, Darth Vader, Dr. Nefarious, John Travolta, Katie Holmes, Khan Noonien Singh, L. Ron Hubbard, The Irken Empire, Zim, Team Rocket, Tom Cruise, Xenu, Meg Griffin, CATS, Neopets, Pox, Dalek Fred
Music/Theatre Committee: Abu Hamza, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Kevin Federline, Leonard Bernstein, Avril Lavigne, Paul Hindemith, Madonna, Ron Jeremy, Hannah Montana
Thunderess Terror Trio: Steve Ballmer,Chris Chocola, Michael Howard
Minions: Fox "News", Rob Liefeld,Nancy Pelosi, Jerry Springer, Taurus Bulba
The Dancing Monkey Pajamas Party: Abu Hamza, Homsar, Pee-Wee Herman, Teletubbies, Herman Munster, Daffy Duck, O.J. Simpson, Mace Windu, Toad
Politics Committee: Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, The Legendary White Teletubby, Bill Bennett, Charles Montgomery Burns, Ted Kennedy, Chairman Mao, Hugo Chávez, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong-Ill, CNN, Fox News, Imelda Marcos, Che Guevara, Joseph Stalin, Ian Paisley, John Kerry, Michael Moore, Sean Penn, Jon Stewart
Sports Committee: Kobe Bryant, Roger Clemens, █████ ██████, Hulk Hogan, Rusty Wallace, Shaquille O'Neal, Hubert Horatio Humphrey, Vince McMahon, Sal Fasano, Ash Ketchum, Yao Ming, Peyton Manning, Bo Jackson, Jimmie Johnson Randy Orton Jonathan Brown Darren Lockyer Ya mum
Undead Committee: Bob Barker, Timmy Turner, Joey Barton, Dracula, French people, Fidel Castor, Ganondorf, King Boo, Michael Jackson, Ralph Nader, Skeletor, Freddy Krueger, Barbara Walters, Simon Cowell, Ozzy Osbourne, Hugh Hefner, Furby, Roger Ebert, Larry King, Mick Jagger, Mr. Stingray, Ku Klux Klan, Brian Peppers, Jason, Irwin's Ghost, The Undertaker, Cthulhu
The Remaining Reprobates: Segata Sanshiro, Black Mage, Dr. Evil, Evil Pizza, Artemis Fowl, Fog, Maozilla, The Koopa Kids, Carlos Mencia, Your mom, Steve Ballmer, Gayzilla, Bill Gates, Baby Seals, Bowser, Kobe, Dr. Claw, Platypus, Wario the Quario, Swansea, Bubs Concession Stand, Wikipedia, Santa Claus, Spyro the Dragon, Barney, Michelle Malkin, Erin Esurance, User:Kervinle2500, Claude Speed, Bob Barker, Jack Thompson, Apple computers, Osama Bin Laden, You, Kim Possible
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Artemis_Fowl"
Personal tools
projects
Stillwaterschronarion.org