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The Assyrians: A race that once controlled the known world, they invented nearly everything.

[edit] Early History

The Assyrians were an unstopable fighting force of the ancient world. They went around owning all noob neighboring empires near them. They were good friends with the Babylonians until the Babylonian king started talking shit about the Assyrian king; a few punches were thrown, and the Babylonian king accidently broke the Assyrian king's winged bull statue. This led to the invasion of Babylon by the Assyrian army.

The Babylonians were pwnt for the time being and prayed to god and said "god who will help us from the haxoring Assyrians, I think there hacking..." God then banned the Assyrians for using leet hax.

There isn't really anything that is not invented by Assyrians. The wheel dates back to ancient Assyrian times. This would explain why modern day Assyrians are obbsessed with ripping burn-outs in their cars.

The Assyrians went on to achieve great things. They were inventors and invented many things such as speaking really loudly when trying to talk normally, over using hand actions when talking, and the well known Assyrian weapon, the "chekaltah" (translation: thong). This weapon in modern times is used by Assyrian parents to discipline their sons and is usually accompanied by words before it is thrown, such as " Aye Brunet Khahbah" which interneally is a swear word insulting the parents of the child.....

[edit] Modern Day Assyria

1. Assyria

[edit] Culture and Fun Facts

The beard of an adult Assyrian man was approximately as durable as titanium alloy.

The only idea we have today that was not previously invented by the Assyrians is incredibly stupid pop-culture music fads.

While Assyrian archers have 40% increased fire rate, they are unable to upgrade to Improved Bowman or Heavy Horse Archer.

[edit] Little Assyria (Fairfield) 1950-Present

After the fall of the final Assyrian empire, Assyrians had no country but this all changed during the late 1950's when thousands of Assyrians migrated to Australia. they decided to make there home base in Fairfield City, Sydney, there current population stands at 30,000 with 18,000 employed to their army.

The President of Little Assyria is Ninos Tlasha. He founded little Assyria in the late 1950s.

[edit] Military

There army has 2 factions known as The Last Hour (simplied as dlsthr) and Assyrian Kings, these 2 army factions are popular among the community for there heroic criminal activity.^[1] The Assyrians are always recuriting for their military, Assyrians are very heoroic when it comes to protecing their nation, Assyrian soldiers have been rumoured to be come out on top even when they are outnumberd 5 to one. The Assyrian army uses such weapons as the M-16,Mac-10 and 9mms; These are common weapons located within The Last Hour's barracks.

The Royal military for the Assyrian empire known as the 'Assyrian kings' house weapons that are highly classified and havent been identified or released to the public.

[edit] Revolts

Recently a oposing faction tryed to take over little Assyria these were known latinos, after many attempts the little Assyria army came out on top with 0 casualities and 10 hospitalised enemy's. It is estimated that within 20 years lil Assyria will have grown to a population of 150,000 there are already plans to take over new south wales thus expanding the new assyrian empire thus known as Little Assyria (Fairfield).

Assyrians have been described as "Hercules-like" warriors by some of the opposing latino who were POW. The assyrians sweapt quickly on the enemy who was trying to invade Little Assyria's territory, swiftly taking care of the problem and reducing the opposing latinos to a minimal threat.

[edit] Income

Most of Little Assyria's population rely on Centrelink for their annually income. A majority of them work cash money so they can still receive centrelin payments , this is also known rorting the system as those who work are not suppose to receive centrelin payments.

  Civilizations and Empires Throughout History