Atheism (religion)

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“This religion is missing something...”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Atheist religion

“...Don't look at me.”

~ Atheist Jesus on the Atheist religion

Atheism is a retarded religion with ignorant funny-looking people, most popular in countries such as Pakistan and North Korea, that revolves around no Gods and no prophets. It has been around since 666 B.C. by Steve Sutton and has attracted the attention of many skeptics, God wannabes, and people who are just never in a good mood. Accoridng to Pope Benedick 16th, all athiests are Marxists/socialists. Many modern officials point out that atheism is as boring as hell.

1 Beliefs
2 Ten Demands
3 Atheist Church
4 Agnostics: Atheism's Blacksheet
5 See Also

[edit] Beliefs

Atheists believe that since there is no God, we came from the big bang (Big bang. Get it?) which occured for no reason, and that when we die we will not exist in any shape or form. Atheists also believe we lack souls and are basically machines here for no purpose. Many atheists claim they are not a religion despiste no scientific evidence supporting such a claim.

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[edit] Ten Demands

According to the book of Atheism, these are the ten demands from their so called "unexisting God."

Thou shalt not believe in any God, or you'll die (get killed by an Atheist leader).
Thou shalt not go to church, temple or any other place of worship except for thy Atheist Church, or you'll die.
Thou shalt stay away from thy Middle East, or you'll die.
Thou shalt not fight in religious war, or you'll die.
Thou shalt not take a lord's name in vain, or you'll die.. There is no God, remember?
Thou shalt not watch any religious programming, , or you'll die. As it is poison to thy mind.
Thou shalt not join any religious groups or cults for obvious reasons, or you'll die.
Thou shalt not feel signs of guilt or you'll die. (This is considered an "evil" thought, as this is expressing belief that there is a God which the atheist would have to answer to someday.)
Thou shalt not pray or you'll die.
Thou shalt not participate in any religion with any God (including Internet religions), or you'll die.

[edit] Atheist Church

Atheist church is very different from religions that actually have a God. Church sessions are usually rants by some guy on his skepticism about God. Atheist priests do not dress for any special occasions. They are always doing church sessions dressed casually. They will even wear a ripped up shirt with sloppy joe stains or that smell like tobacco. Many atheist priests live in basements or other dark, wet, cold environments like Sweden.

A typical Atheist priest.

The church has had some conflict with other religions; mostly with Judiasm and Christianity. The other religions believe that Atheist church is just an excuse for people to let out their feelings on God and fit in with the other religions by having their own place of worship.

[edit] Agnostics: Atheism's Blacksheet

The religious group Atheists dislike the most is Agnosticism. They are believed that they are really Atheists, only constantly losing faith in the Atheist religion, or even sometimes having no idea what they believe in. It is frowned upon in Atheist societies and has caused conflict with the Atheist church.