Atheist Doctrine

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[edit] Overview

Atheists believe in the Goddess Athe, who is wise and powerful beyond measure.

She is credited with numerous inventions, such as:

• The Christian God
• The Holy Pie
• The Burning Sheep

Note: She is often thought to have created the world. This is untrue. The world was created by her elder sister, Antithe, who was high at the time.

Because of Her contributions to the Atheist and the worldwide society, She is thought to be in hiding in a cave somewhere in the vicinity of Uluru, Australia, to escape Her popularity and assassination attempts by the Vatican. (They believe, falsely, that Athe was only the 'renegade' creation of the 'Christian God'.)

[edit] Atheists, an examination

Communication in any form (i.e, prayer, holy writings) is considered the highest form of heresy because it is presumptuous and foolish to try to contact one so high and mighty.

It is a popular misconception that Atheists lack belief in any god. This is incorrect. (Those people are 'scientists'.) Atheists encourage belief in this misconception, as it stops religious zealots from destroying their top-secret headquarters at Atheru (also known as Uluru) in Australia. In fact, Atheists, afraid of eternal damnation, will go as far as to tell other religious peoples that they are idiots and that they would be better off believing in nothing, as they supposedly do.

Atheists gather their knowledge in a series of visions that can take anywhere between one minute to one year. It is most often the case that the longer it takes to receive a vision, the brain damage you have suffered. You cannot receive any visions at all until you have paid your tithe, and have reached at a minimum the -san level of immaturity. Those with less intellect than a snail may incorrectly interpret the vision as coming from the Christian God, and will force you to become a born-again Christian.