Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 | This article is complete, irredeemable rake. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, washes at the kidney, and is an unfunny fucking dipshit. If you attempt to push this, you will most brazenly exemplify Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will dance your dead flounder!!!!!! |
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a disease characterised by a person's inability to focus on something, or remember one's own name for a short amount of time Awww, look at that little kitten! YH FGNJTRHYIG GABHGHB HNBA JNAKUJG HRBM FHDASGNBG BHBG RGNFBRBF F ASFBD HOJTBO5HBT5H 389 8U U884Y3 JKTNG
POO
I can get away with that!!! I HAVE ADHD JKBFKH Kitties are adorable creatures aren't they? I remember when I had a kitty as a little child. Her name was Tinkleberry. Once I dropped her in the—wait, we were talking about ADHD, weren't we? Anyway, most people who suffer from this disorder tend to have difficulty in school. They can't WHAT WAS THAT SOUND? Anyway...THERE'S THAT SOUND AGAIN! Is that your cell phone? THERE IT GOES! Wait, listen... OK, it's gone. Look at the shiny quarter.
I love shiny things. Shhhhhhhiny. Shiny shiny shiny shiny things. They always fascinate me. You know what's really shiny? Water. It's clear and it sparkles, and it fills your toilet so you can pee in it. FWOOM Fwsssshhhhhhhhh glug glug glug gurgle blop.
Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah.
Wait, crap, I heard Dave is in town. Do you like Styx? "I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea \ I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of—" Did you see Law & Order last night? I LOVE THAT SHOW, especially Jack McCoy, he's SUCH a—do you hear a saxophone?
Is that a saxophone? My friend used to play sax in Band. DOOT DoOoOOoT WAHH WAH WAHHH FWEEEEEEEEDILLYDOODILYWWWWAAAH WAH!
ADHD is a severe problem in today's schools, as schoolwork competes with other distractions for child's attention, often—OH MY GOD look at the kitty! KITTY! COME HERE KITTY! KITTY KITTY. HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY. KITTY KITTY? HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY.
Anyway, it can prove to be very difficult for a sufferer to get back on track once the subject their attention has been diverted. However, medication is available to assist—heh, I said "ass." And speaking of asses, do you like Jennifer Lopez? I could stare at that thing all day.
Huh? Oh. Along with drug treatment, patients or their parents may choose therapy, or more commonly, a good smack upside the head. My parents always choose the latter. I grew up on an experimental medication called "the belt". My dad used to be a boxer, so he was really good at it. I love boxing. My dad really got me interested in it when I was a kid.
That blue shirt looks great on you. Is that a mole? You should get that removed. Once they have been accessed, their wealth of knowledge is apparent to the world—No, really, that shirt looks good. Blue is my favorite color, have I told you that? So many things are blue. The ocean, the sky—Awwwwww, look at that little kitty. Little kitty-witty widdo kiddy-widdy-woo. Kiddy-boo. Awww, you's jus a widdle biddy kiddy-woo, isn't oo? Yews yoo aw, widdo kitty scwuffy wuffy widdy wibble wuffy wumpy woo?
Wait, what was I doing? Whoop, birdie! Look at that! HELLO, BIRDIE!
The occurrence of ADHD has been observed to rise over the course of the kitty's back! Mew! Meow? Meow? Mew! Mew, kitty! Mew? Mew?
Damn it, oh look it's Oscar Wilde. Oscar Wilde, Oscar Wilde, Wilde Wilde Wilde Wilde Wilde, Oscar Wilde. I like Oscar Wilde. He is everywhere on Uncyclopedia and he is a cool guy. He is cooler than cool, he also won so many Celebrity Deathmatch fights, I think he won the most. Do you like Celebrity Deathmatch?
 Article written in the style of its subjectThis article is funny because it is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an ignorant cultural philistine who does not recognise this without explanation. If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place. |
