Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 1

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July 32: Independence Day (Switzerland): Day of Drive-By-Shooting (Los Angeles)

• 607 - Ono no Imoko, hearing about new his envoy job to the Sui court in China, reportly said "Ono no Inogo !".
• 1645 - French general Marcus Hum declare war on pants.
• 1646 - The King of France ZengRong executed Marcus and surrenders to itself.
• 1647 - Zeng Rong surrenders it's pants, itself then surrenders itself to the void and floats downstream.
• 1781 - The Puebla of Los Angeles has it's first drive-by-shooting as a disgruntled Indian medicine man on horseback shoots an arrow in the back of a hippie for stealing from his marijuana field.
• 1910 - Los Angeles celebrates it's first drive-by-shooting from a car, a Ford Model T. However, the culprit is quickly apprehended by LAPD, who were chasing on foot.
• 1919 - the people of Zimbabwe elect their first lord high bison
• 1923 - Calvin Klein proclaims himself Emperor of Cologne, Germania.
• 1949 - "Happy Ending" first added to a massage.
• 1957 - Rod Serling ticketed in the Middle Ground between Light and Shadow for driving Noon in a Twilight Zone.
• 1979 - Australia's first kangaroo prime minister is elected. He later appoints marsupials to the judiciary, resulting in the establishment of kangaroo courts.
• 1981 - MTV airs on cable, declares victory.
• 1983 - Something happened, but nobody can remember what it was.
• 1986 - Soviet Union invades the United States in President Ronald Reagan's mind.
• 1988 - Sir Thomas Coffee dies from AIDS during a drive-by shooting.
• 1991 - President Clinton starts to integrate all the States of Eurasia by building an interstate (I-2) from Dublin, Ireland to Tokyo, Japan.
• 1992 - Emperor Bush Sr. builds a train route from Anchorage, Alaska to Buenos Aires, Argentina to integrate America.
• 1995 - Monumental Supreme Court case Money vs. Looks decided.
• 2004 - Bob Saget comes out of the closet.
• 2004 - Kansas melted by Nebraskan Death Ray.
• 2006 - Lebron went to Lebanon to find out why his name is so silly. He discovers that his name is not derived from Lebanon, but a chip shop in Bromford.
• 2006 - Seeking the same, Anfernee goes to his birth certificate.
• 2006 - MTV turns 25 years old, now 24 years older than its target demographic. Viacom surrenders to France.
• 2009 - The NFL folds and is replaced by the National Lacrosse League on NBC.
• 2010 - Osama bin Laden dies
• 2011 - Osama bin Laden returns as the Ghost of Christmas Past
• 2254 - A sad day in world history. The last male platypus dies, leaving the species no chance.