Auguste Rodin

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Auguste Rodin (1900-2000) is a world famous sculptor. He is best known for his eerily perverse sculptures, many of which focus on sex and sexual related matters.

[edit] The Absurd Fixation

From an early age, Rodin showed a high interest in sexual organs of all sorts. He played with his own testicles often as a baby, eventually graduating while playing doctor as a little kid. He was obsessed with the naked human form.

Because Rodin had such a dirty mind, he was sent to a mental institution. Here he gained worldy insight from Honoré de Ballsack, a dirty French philosopher who would be his idol the rest of Rodin's life. Ballsack only came into the institution to read a passage from his new book to the inmates. Unbeknownst to him, Ballsack would fufuill Rodin's sexual fantasies for years to come.

[edit] The Insane Period

Rodin was released from the institution as a young adult. He avidly looked for sexual perks every minute of every day. One day, in the midst of a romp with a transexual Thai hooker, he decided to become a sculptor. No one knows exactly why.

Rodin's first artistic period was insane because his sculptures were nightmarish, due to lack of experience. His first sculpture was of his hero, Ballsack. The sculpture was very disturbing and didn't look a bit like the man in person.

Head of Ballsack

Other works of this period often centered around Ballsack, Ballsack's gentalia, or Rodin's and Ballsack's gentalia (often touching in some way).

[edit] The Pornographic Period

Rodin eventually graduated to sculpting full fledged porno. He started small with pieces such as Ride Me, and Strawberry Shortcake. These in turn gave rise to his skeptical piece, Tap That Shit.

Tap That Shit

Tap That Shit was so controversial because the two people in the sculpture were technically not tapping anything. They were having a little foreplay, that's all.

Rodin then made another controversial sculpture, The Gates of Hell. This was his largest work by far. It showed a doorway and figures occupying the space inside and around it. The figures were in nearly every sexual position known to man. Half were being raped, hentai style. Critics attacked this piece mercilessly and Rodin went into hiding for a little while.

[edit] The Thought Period

Rodin went out of hiding after thinking about how it would ruin his life. His new era of sculpture focused on the process of thought. He made a few minor works, such as Brainiac, and The Butterfly Effect. But his masterpiece of this period was none other than The Thinker.

The Thinker simply depicted a naked man sitting with his head resting on his fist, deep in thought. When asked by a reporter what the man was really thinking, Rodin replied "Do you really want to know?" Apparently, Rodin was still a pervert.

Rodin soon became so obsessed in his thoughts, that literally thought himself to death. This is controversial, since his death occurred while he was having a threesome with a blind gimp and a bearded lady. This is why syphilis is also a reasonable, although less romantic, possibility for his death. Fuck you john Zumora

[edit] Sculptures

Insane

1. Head of Ballsack
2. Ballsack Giving Me Head
3. Ballsack's Ballsack
4. A Study In Ballsack
5. Ballsack Wants You
6. Me Popping Ballsack's Cock In and Out of my Mouth

Pornographic

1. Ride Me
2. Mother Superior Jump the Gun
3. Strawberry Shortcake
4. Your Mom's Gay
5. Tap That Shit
6. The Gates of Hell
7. The Cathedral Position

Thought

1. Brainiac
2. The Butterfly Effect
3. Mental Retardation
4. The Slow Thinker