Avatar
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“Wait, is that me I see in the toenail?”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Avatar
The Avatar was spawned into being by a madman, possibly a German, in an attempt to combine the powers of everything in the universe into a single living being, which, (again, only possibly) may have been intended to have been sold to a Russian in exchange for cash to fuel his raging Kitten Huffing addiction. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for Kittens everywhere, his plan backfired when the different sections of the Avatar that were enemies in existence outside the creature's body immediately formed tight-knit cliques and refused to talk to one another. As a result, this sin against God, who, incidentally, is included in the Avatar, right above the Interweb-appendix, wages a one-man-plus-army war against existance, until the day when everything in the universe is destroyed, thus leaving her comprised of nothing, so that it may be at peace.
[edit] Methods of Destruction
Throughout history The Avatar has had his hand in many inisidious soups, and just as many hand burns were sustained. However she has also taken part in many plans to further his cause for the decimation of everything. Yes, even THAT.
- The Internet. Undoubtedly the largest tool in his tool shed filled with tool boxes filled with tools of horrors. She combats the very fabric of the universe and the Power Rangers: Rockem-Sockem Robot Force Five using this most dastardly tool.
- The Mafia. The Avatar hates the Mafia, and loves the Mafia, and is completely neutral about the Mafia, which means the Mafia still exists, and must be dealt with. But until that time comes, it uses the Mafia to vanguard his campaign against Prohibition and Law and Order, as well as the 1920's in general.
- The Clerics of the Avatar. Over time, The Avatar has garnered support from the truly despicable members of society. Though they too will be destroyed, they were be removed last off all. Complex creature that she is, the Avatar cannot always remember who supports him, and who does not. To deal with this, for its supporters the Avatar formed personal avatars for its clerics. These ner-do-wells spread dischord and chaos throughout the land, even though dischord and chaos will be removed as well.
[edit] Timeline of The Avatar's Activities
?? A.B.C- The Avatar is created in the underground city in the sky, Munich.
1681 A.C.E- The Dodo bird is rendered extinct by the Avatar, signifying one of her greatest victories.
1434 B.C.E- The Avatar destroys the Gem of Immortality and slays Mondain. Richard Garriot has a heart attack in his 'effin castle in Texas. He is almost simultaneously replaced by a communist doppleganger in a rare play on the Russian-Reversal.
47 B.C.E.- The Avatar commits suicide for the first time. After learning that annihilation of being is not retroactive, The Avatar falls into a fit of depression and commits suicide for the second time.
575 A.C.E.- The fabric of time is damaged in the Battle of Britan....nia. As a result of this, timelines are no longer required to be in any chronological order whatsoever.
3041 W.T.F.- The Avatar seiges the Garden of Eden killing the cherubim wielding the flaming sword, proving that the Immortal can be killed. Upon learned that after millennia of inoccupancy by creatures with brains AND thumbs the Garden has been left a barren wasteland, The Avatar enters a fit of rage that wipes out the entire concept of salutory neglect.
